Wait a minute … I shared a pup tent with Jim Kelly once on Tom Ford’s ranch.

Sometimes I think the whole birth-control-driven “Free Love, Free Sex” revolution was a Pandora’s Box we should never have opened. We released a number of little gremlins that work to the detriment of many of our daughters. Sexual viability seems to have become a higher priority than a high school diploma for a lot of young women. Nobody wants to be the “nice girl” at the party anymore…even if they are. Y’gotta be a little nasty just to fit in. And totally nasty if you want to get noticed. Whatever twisted entitlements our fathers had espoused, we women gave their sons permission to just run wild. Well, we didn’t. But y’know. Legally. We’re still working out the details about just how wild a man can run. Especially once there are children involved…for whatever reason. For me, all the fences came down around the time of America’s Sesquicentennial. I can’t give you a number. I echo Ms. Buck: That’s not even any of MY business! And too many post-coital memories are altogether unpleasant. I love sex. No question. But it’s a conditional proposition for me at this point. I declare, my favorite “sleeping with” memory is when my daughter was about three years old. And she’d climb on the bed and curl her little bum against the small of my back. God bless her sweet heart! She was always so warm, and it just released this soothing sense of peace throughout my whole body. She’s the only one of my five children I delivered with the “help” of an epidural. I’ve regretted it. And my lower back still aches sometimes, but it ached all the time back then. Nevertheless. “Mama gotta go to work!” So I ignored it. Yanked on my panty hose and moved on. But it was so sweet of her, tiny little thing, to just sorta guess where I was hurting, and curl her warm little self up against me. That’s my best memory of “love in the sheets.”

I used to test my memory by going thru the list, but at 45 and monogamously married 20 years, I’ve forgotten many of them. I’ve slept with about 25 men. (And it’s upsetting to me what a sheltered young girl did to get the approval she didn’t get at home …)

Maybe because the “nos” I said at 7 weren’t heeded, I spent a lot of my life in reaction and I enjoyed saying “NO” a lot when I could call the shots. This lowered my current numbers (I am still breathing!) and my expectations. Unfortunately, once I was ready to say “YES” not many were interested in my wrinkling, gravity-tugged body!!

Whom ever came up with this question should just be told to stay home. S/he doesn’t evidently really need a job. If WOWOWOW is gonna make some money on me there had better be some quality comin’ outta this sight. High School slang books are way behind me. Immature! Absolutely brainless.

1 in 1000 different ways. - (not including all the kids that would lay in horizontal positions between us.) A 25 year adventure, ongoing.

Remember the song - “But I REALLY don’t want to know.”

With potential employers looking you up and reading your post this question is not too cool.