I was almost thirty, a mother, a wife, an employee of a bank…and I discovered that working hard and following the rules would not guarantee me success. A young lady who had graduated from USC, white, from a well-placed, family received numerous promotions without disturbing her carefully applied mascara.

That the majority of people would operate under common sense!

that if you work hard and keep your nose clean, you will succeed.

Oy, Liz! I sympathize completely. I thought I’d be married forever and that our vows meant as much to him as they did to me. Talk about rude awakenings.

My biggest disillusionment was that I would not be young forever. It was terrific fun while it lasted, though. I have trouble adjusting to being 50. Look, see? I just made a face while I typed that. Don’t let this big, green smile fool you. I am depressed about getting older. It stinks.

Illusion is not a good thing. So I am always pleased at disillusion. I think in my youth the thing that held me up the most was thinking people were intelligent as a group. Of course this isn’t true. On its face. The normal curve prevails. That was hard. So nearly everything that really hurts is a result of hoping for too much from people, or expecting too much. Ignorance, arrogance, and greed, selfishness, addiction, stupidity — these things have produced the things that have hurt the most over the years. And still I wake up in the morning thinking some other thing is possible. And still I hope. It must be a genetic hardwire.