What I did tell her; You do what you think is right for you and your Mom and Dad will be here to support you through it in whatever way we need to and can.

One mistake is okay, but two is tacky without love and marriage.

Sorry i misspelled again i ment mean mot men.

Are you ready? Are you prepared for a 20 year or so commitment to be responsible for raising another human? Do you have the means to do this and do this right? If there are any doubts, any at all, abort and abort as early as possible. The fact is, we do not need any more children - there are far too many all ready and we certainly do not need for you bring a child into this world without someone who can give it the best care it needs. The United States should make abortion free and easy. We should encourage birth control but also abortion when it does not work. It will make our society stronger and better. Womb Nazi’s who would take this choice away from women can all go to hell rather than make this a hell on Earth from your overpopulating, free breeding ways!

Well gee Belia Mia, maybe the solution is to put women into concentration camps and force them to be impregnated and give birth so we can balance the economy. (I hope you Dems see my eyes rolling, the reps will probably think its a reasonable solution.)

Too many of my friends suffer from mysterious aliments that doctors cannot detect, since giving birth to a baby that they were forced to give away. So many women suffer from depression because they had to give up an unplanned baby. Emotionally stunted these women live seemingly unfufilled lives, whereas friends who had an abortion were empowered by having made such an important decision, on their own at such a young age, have gone on to live worthwhile happy lives. No one should have to give birth to a baby that she does not want because that baby will always know that she was not wanted. Whenever I have the opportunity to tell a young person why I believe in a women’s right to choose, I speak my mind. I’ve explained the importance of a person having the right to decide her own future to children as young and ten years old. That’s how important I believe the issue is. Over the years here in Newport, RI, where sex education is not taught until eleventh grade, I’ve followed the lives of seventh and eighth graders whose parents punish their twelve, thirteen, or fourteen year old daughter by making her stay out of school to take care of her baby.

Ms. Davies, the problem is that in Rhode Island (I don’t know about the other states.) the schools don’t teach what you call “independent living classes” until eleventh grade; by then most eleventh graders have had an average of twenty sexual partners, according to a recent study. When girls as young as twelve are having babies and thereby having to leave school in order to take care of those babies, who is supposed to take care of those twelve year olds having babies? These young girls become chronically depressed with a depression that lasts a life time. If you have ever been depressed, then you understand how debilitating depression can be. These twelve year old girls should be in high school learning life skills that will help her take care of and provide for a family when she is ready to do so.

Well for one thing if there parents cared at all they would help a little. They should offer independent living classes not only in high school in middle school too. Have classes like independent living, personal development, and marriage and family. If i were in that situation abortion would not be an option it might be my only chance to have a baby.

I was 19 when I first got pregnant, I had dropped out of high school and had only ever held one job. I was absolutely terrified - words just don’t suffice to describe how scary that situation can be. The father swore upon all things holy or sacred he would be there and take care of us, and I believed him. We moved into my mom’s house, and a few months later I kicked him out because he had yet to get a job - any job would have done, really - and I knew I wasn’t up to supporting a kid and the father. He never did become dependable, and a few years ago I pretty much told him to leave our lives and not come back until he grew up. I haven’t seen or heard from him since. The second time, a few years later, that I got pregnant was only slightly better. He had a job, and a place of his own - but in the end refused to do what it was going to take to get us into a place big enough for a family. Oh, he also never really accepted that I earned more than he did at the time - so that’s a sign right there, isn’t it? That relationship didn’t last the pregnancy, either. He sees his daughter on the weekends, and makes his child support payments about half the time. I was fortunate to have had support from family and friends in both situations. It has been rough going - I’m 31 and working on a college degree now, and won’t be in the workforce again full-time for another year and half. I’m lucky enough to have found someone who supports me fully and loves me and my kids. I have new daughter through him who is now twelve, and I’ve already discussed with her regular birth control, emergency contraception, STD prevention, and promised to provide her with these things without judgment. So: I would be totally straight - if you choose to keep the child, be prepared to bear the full responsibility. This means time, effort, energy, finances, at the very least postponing your own goals, medical care for her and the child - the whole shebang. I’d be totally straight about the options - all the options. I would emphasize that the family would be here for her, and help her out with a baby should she decide to keep it. And I would do my very best to be around when that baby arrived - because you need someone to tell you it’s okay to let a baby cry if it just becomes too much, that babies don’t break nearly as easily as you might think, and all those other wonderful things my mom passed on to me. I would make it clear that we would help her make a plan to achieve independence financially, and support her fully in whatever education or career choices she made. I would support her if she chose adoption - though I would encourage her to choose someone in the family, or at the very least an agency that allowed her to choose a loving family. I would support her if she chose abortion, help her pay for it if necessary, and be there to make sure she was okay - and beyond that I would make sure she knew that I would protect her privacy. And I would do everything I could short of totally alienating her to get her on birth control so that it doesn’t happen again.

I would say: I will not raise this child for you. You have some decisions to make. What alternatives have you considered? What are the pros and cons of each? Do you know what resources are available for helping you make your decision? This is not the end of the world and you are in charge. But that means you and your child have to accept the consequences of the choices you make. You don’t have to decide right now, so think about this and make some notes. Then we’ll talk again about it in two days. Just remember, the one rule is that I will not raise this child for you.

I find it interesting in the four responses above the presumption is that the girl would be a teenager, although the question never specifies that. As a woman who got pregnant at the age of 32 at a time when I was not financially prepared to raise a child but had always wanted children I would say two things resonated in my experience, one was a choice I personally made about my situation the other was the advice of my distraught and disappointed mother. My mother through her anger and disappointment (who is pro choice) said to me when I did not have an answer regarding if I was going to have the baby — If you have one percent of doubt around terminating this pregnancy it is the wrong decision. It is a choice you can not alter and take back and it is a choice you will never get a second chance at. As tough as the prospect of raising a child or giving one up for adoption is, abortion is something you absolutely should have 100% certainty about - even in the pain of making the decision, your gut will tell you if it is the right decision for you. The second was I knew my relationship with my daughter’s father was not a love relationship. It was one of respect and joy but we were not in a place of committing to one another. When I chose to have the baby, I was diligent in not allowing the two issues to influence each other. What I mean is, the conversations, choices and decisions we made around the baby had nothing to do with our personal/romantic relationship. The baby and our role as parents was separate. I didn’t want to have clouded emotions and make him out to be more to me because I was having his child. As we got through my pregnancy it became very evident he was not going to have any role in my daughter’s life and I am forever grateful emotionally that at the beginning I had separated the two issues. It has left me in a place that I am content with the choices I have made and most of all I am without anger. I have lingering sadness that my daughter’s father has chosen to not be a part of her life, but I don’t harbor ill will or a sense of revenge around it. As a result my daughter is surrounded by love - not tension.