This has been great fun. I’ve enjoyed every listing. If I may…just one more from me, for the road… how about “Awesome”.

that I am ”so cute and happy all the time” NOT

“In other words…”. Baby! How many words did you just use to tell me whatever it was you wanted to say, and now you want to use “other words”? I understood you the first damn time!

It drives me crazy when friends say I say “It drives me crazy…” a lot. Except they’re right. A lot of things DO drive me crazy lately. When I was a lot younger, it made me crazy when people said, “You’re so lucky you have naturally curly hair.” Yeah, right. This was back in the day when you were supposed to have stick-straight hippie hair—and before that, perfectly smooth sprayed helmet flip-ups. I spent tons of woman-hours trying to iron, de-frizz, clamp down, etc. my unruly tresses. Also, I too would love to ban the word “awesome” from the English language for at least fifty years.

Yesterday at work, I discovered a sentence that really drives me crazy! “the customer’s always right” That is so not true!

“Maybe he’ll outgrow it.” Parents of other kids, neighbors, even my parents have said this about my son. You don’t outgrow schizophrenia.

Elevator talk. How about at work. You’re on the elevator at 7:30am. You and someone else gets on the elevator at the lobby level. The other person who you do not know says to you when they get off, “Have a good day”. I don’t know this annoys me. Especially when I say it which is all the time. When did we learn this auto response. I just can’t control myself. And I’m not alone!

How I envy those who have only ONE THING said to them each day that annoys them. My list: “You guys,” and I include Sarah Palin, who says that to crowds. “Do I look fat?” Can I really say, ‘very’?” “Don’t tell anyone.” That’s an enormous burden. Firstly, I have to remember who told it to me so I don’t whisper it back in her ear (it’s always a woman who says this). Then I have to keep the story straight and to try to muzzle myself. “Would you like bottled water or tap?” We’ll tell you if we want to pay for water. “Have a good day.” This drove me nuts when I lived in LA as it was said by sales clerks and other strangers who couldn’t possibly care if I walked out and found my car had been hit or I would be dissed by a colleague, both of which were extremely likely. “Have a good workout.” For me that’s an oxymoron.

I have in-laws who say “yous,” as in “Where are yous going?” It’s like nails on a chalkboard. There are other things that drive my crazy (e.g., “she don’t,” “I didn’t do nothing,” ad nauseum), but the “yous” is the worst.

When a professional person does an interview and uses “ah” or “um” after every three words. It drives me NUTS. I want to call and tell them to go to Toastmasters.

I’ll be back in a second (when they put me on hold on the phone).