After living in Paris for nearly 14 years, I still can’t understand the puritanism and hypocrisy in American politics. I was living in France when Bill Clinton was impeached. My French friends typically reacted by saying: “All this for a XXX job?” They couldn’t believe it. Now the Spitzer mess. It seems unbelievable to me. Is Eliot Spitzer, who worked so hard to get where he is that self-destructive? I don’t believe he should resign. He frequented prostitutes. Unless there are really illegal elements, what harm did he do? As far as Silda Spitzer, I was saddened to see that beautiful unhappy face. Should she stand by him? Well, according to my earlier statement that he shouldn’t be criticized, attacked, humiliated publically and forced to leave office, yes, I do. I think they should see a marriage counselor but especially, that he see a therapist to figure out how he could jeopardize so much. Judith Oringer

I’m sure she was told that “the people of New York” needed her to be strong and stand there. that not standing there would somehow inject chaos and panic. I assume she stood there for “the people” out of a sense of obligation from agreeing previously to be the First Lady of NY. I hope NY stands and supports her when she’s able to focus on herself and her children.

I think Silda needs to make that decision herself. But I agree, she should not be forced to “stand by her man” at press conferences. That to me is just too humiliating !!!

I don’t understand any woman who is willing to stand by her man in a time when he has been unfaithful. And when the unfaithfulness is brought out and it has been an ongoing thing with prostitutes which puts her in danger? She should bow out - sure it will affect more than his politics but he should have thought about that in the first place. With his wife standing beside him, it’s as if she’s saying “It’ll be alright baby, you didn’t do anything wrong. People are just picking on you”. Get out while you can - UNLESS she too has been cheating on him with prostitutes….then? Yeah, stay by your man and hope he stays by you - you deserve each other!

What she decides to do is her business, bless her heart! That’s a hard road to travel and will take a lot of praying and soal searching. Maybe he told her he was doing research?

These poor women do what they feel they have to do, I guess. Personally, I think it takes a lot of courage for a woman to take a stand and say, “Enough. You’re on your own, buddy.” This could be a lot more empowering for women than to just stand by and suffer quietly. Too bad we can’t send a public message like that to these cheating men.

My heart breaks for anyone, man or woman, who’s family distruction has to be in front the whole world. Yes I know they understand that when they are married or partnered with a public figure. But they are victims when that figure shames themselves and the family. What she chooses to do is her business. We really don’t know what she is feeling. The media should leave her alone. Let him face the music.

It is her decision to make. Perhaps she should stay with him long enough to build her own public life as a politician, then run for office herself. Then, she can publicly kick him out and let him see how it feels to be humiliated by a spouse.

I couldn’t imagine having an infedility play out in the national arena. It suddenly turns from a very personal problem to a public one. Infedility is a strange thing when it comes to women. I’ve seen very strong, independent women accept it and stay in their marriages. On the other hand I’ve seen women that are very dependent on their husbands leave. It always surprises me. Honestly, I think that each relationship is different and the strengths and weaknesses of the relationship determine how things will ultimately work out. Mrs. Spitzer, good luck and best wishes.

As a parent of four teenagers, three of them girls, I am amazed at their views of the current presidentail candidates due to their personal life issues and relationships. My girls are shocked that any woman would stay in a relationship with such betrayal. I want them to hold onto their innocence. I want them to know they deserve the best and no man should treat a woman in such a manner. She should LEAVE her man. I am 100% sure. I am currently watching his press announcement as he steps down. She must have such strong inner strength to even stand next to him a t the moment. His girls will never respect him in the same manner.

It will be interesting to see if she stays, but I certainly hope she has enough self esteme to set an example for her daughters, and leave. She is too smart a woman to have to put up with this kind of betrayal and humiliation. I would have far more respect for Hillary if she would have divorced Billy, took everything and then ran for president. I would say that she was strong enough to divorce the then President of the United States, that it took guts, and that is what we want as a President. I hate that these very public women, get up on the stage, before the world, and quietly follow and support their lying, cheating husbands. It’s as if they are just cattle up there. What a sad and disturbing example for our young girls! He should have had to hire another prostitute to stand up there with him, if he was so afraid to man up and do it alone. Really!!

It’s no one’s place to judge Mrs. Spitzer for a decision that must be personal and incredibly painful for her. I once heard a man describe “fun”. He said that men are naturally drawn to extremes, just short of getting killed, from jumping off the roof to jumping off a mountain. Are these powerful men experimenting in extreme risk-taking? Winner take all, loser lose all? Is engaging in high-dollar illicit sex just another daring venture?

She really didn’t have time to think about whether to stand with him or not or the consequences of either decision. Damned if she did and damned if she didn’t. A woman, no matter how intelligent, successful in her own right, and married to a high-profile man is programmed to be supportive, no matter what. It’s almost by habit that she would do what he asked or his advisors asked. And not being from New York and not knowing anything about the couple or their marriage but having read a lot about his personality over the years and knowing some of the people he has attacked, I fear that she may also be the victim of intimidation and may actually be afraid of him. If that is the case, she would never have had anyone to discuss this with because of the high profile situation. I can’t imagine anyone in a worse situation than she is now and I just hope that she can be left alone by the press and can find some very good counseling, not to mention a good lawyer to protect herself.

Mary Wells wrote: The real question today is: Why would a man…… spend $5,000 for a few hours of sex…..? The answer is complex, simple and tragic. It’s about a horrible disease called sex-addiction, of which there are no boundaries regarding age, race, political office, economic status, religion or gender. It’s a intimacy disorder, a dysfunctional coping mechanism. As to why women ‘stand by their man’, another disorder called co-dependency, another disfunctional coping mechanism to keep their lives intact. Did she know something was off? Probably. Most women do, I certainly did, but refused to look at the elephant in the room. When I couldn’t shovel through the poop any longer, a very long journey of recovery began. I walk through this with a double edged sword, as the victim and also a perpetrator, as I had my own issues. Don’t we all? The irony of my journey is that I am a therapist, trained in Marriage and Family Therapy and I didn’t even see what was happening under my own roof. Crazy? Yes. Perhaps Mrs. Spitzer didn’t see either and has been so blindsided, all she could do was stand by her man. Shock does that to a person. Completely knocks you off your feet. I hope they both get the help they need. Healing is possible. Best to you all. Jacki S

Jill, you are right on, talking about watching Mrs. Spitzer in today’s (Wednesday’s) press conference. The stress and pain is visible on her face. All I can do is suppose what I would do if it were me, and if it were me, unless my children were insistent that I stand next to my husband as he admitted to the world he cheated, and was resigning his job, I’d be at home. Ever notice these guys don’t have their supportive wives next to them when they have press conferences announcing their triumphs?