Question of the Day | 11/11/2008 11:00 pm
What magazine cover would you most like to appear on? Why?

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Carol … you actually stole my thunder — too many years ago to mention I was in a swimsuit practicing for most of my days — and pretended I was a latter-day Esther Williams. But that was then … darn it!!! A couple of years ago about 5 of us were part of a cover article for Parade magazine — I can’t remember the title — but it was about people over 60 who really knew how to live life to the fullest. (As I remember, one was Donald Trump!) But wisely, the magazine did not use our photos — and, just speaking for myself, I am sure not that attractive and certainly would not add anything to a cover. Smart editor!!!!
Forget the cover. I would love to have the lead article listed ON the cover of either National Geographic or Smithsonian though - and, inside, maybe photos of me taken 15 years ago or more while I was in the High Arctic or Antarctic researching penguins and seals or
polar bears near the North Pole. . . or those action photos of falling into a crevasse or being chased by the most vicious of sea lions - called Hookers - who want to bite your fingers off and sometimes do. Scar-y!! For years I have waited for National Geographic to chase me down. . . naturally in vain. But I can dream … . as I have the exciting stories and, actually, with a parka covering any of my physical failings, I might be able to pull it off.
I would not want to be in or on a magazine…..but if I were it would be “Coastal Living” or “Santa Barbara Style” with a Golden Retriever. I rarely read magazines and don’t subscribe to any but those are totally me.
Carmel,
COASTAL LIVING happens to be my favorite magazine - fantastic writing and photos of the most amazing homes by the sea. I love the frenetic life, but it does give me the wonderful sense of peace and calm … and beauty!
Rolling Stone - as the best back-up singer of all time, just coming off a tour with Steely Dan.
No Lie …… it’s always been a fantasy.
Sports Illustrated Swimsuit ?
I’d have to be stretched on a rack for about a year !!
You are so funny–––laughed at your last sentence and pictured you being stretched out on a rack eating upside down and holding court in your supine position.
Hey - OT to EKA - I am a rabid fan of Steely Dan - I have been going to their shows since they went back to touring in the early 90’s - they are as great live as they are in the studio! so you want to be part of the midriff section? yeah, me too -
Realistically, it would have to be, AARP.
The reason I would choose AARP is because I’ve had enough life experiences, which others could relate to. Even though I have no significant accomplishments that would give me ‘celebrity’ status, my ‘story’ would be intriguing (I think) to readers. For sure it would be, AN AMERICAN TALE, which others might find familiar, yet unique.
Oh … If I were thirty years younger, I probably would choose COSMOPOLITAN (to appease my vanity), and FORBES (for ambition).
Done Deal, Liz. Hope you don’t mind - I took the liberty of shooting off this letter:
Playboy Editors:
This is to inform you that the illustrious Liz Smith has just announced publicly that after a protracted wait, necessitated by physical and psychological preparation, she is now willing to make herself fully available to grace the cover of your magazine.
http://www.wowowow.com/post/liz-smith-85-year-old-playmate-140061
Please notify your founder, Mr Hefner, ASAP of this breakthrough.
No doubt he will want to seize upon a publicity opportunity so rare, beneficent and eagerly awaited as this.
Please contact her retinue for standard contractual specifications regarding lighting, jazz music, Diptyque Amber candles, fragrant oils, wafting smoke, wind fans, fur rugs and other ambiance. Her teams will be happy to improvise in any way they can.
[Please Note: Ms. Smith will not, under any conditions, be available to appear in your regular Hanging With Hef online feature.]
Nor may Mr. Hefner presume absolutely that, subsequent to the shoot, he and his blonde accomplices may have their way with her.
In the hot tub, out by the waterfall.
Sincerely,
Etc..
I love it! You should actually send that–––might be great fun to see what happens. They might just take you up on it. There was a movie called “Calendar Girls” starring Helen Mirren, which told the true story of a group of late middle age British ladies who, in order to raise money for a charity, all posed nude for a calendar. It’s a delightful film. Maybe the Wow moms could do the same for publicity for their site with Liz as their cover girl.
Phyllis…I HAVE that calendar that the British ladies did and when Liz commented, it was the first thing that popped up in my mind. What is that old adage about great brains? Might it apply in this instance?? Oh well, I did love Emycee’s letter to playboy and if that is not accepted, I insist that the ladies of WOW, at least, pose nude for charity with Liz as the “said” centerfold.
My dear Emcye…I know HughHefner but I would never have thought to send him a letter like yours. You are a very funny writer. I hope this doesn’t put Playboy in a desperate position. Hef can grow old but women —- never. Anyway I appreciate you as amanuensis and go between. Thank you for your confidence in forging ahead without me. Love, Liz Smith P.S. I especially like in the hot tub, out by the waterfall.
Ms. Smith, I see your concern. However, for Mr. Hefner, there’s no such thing as a desperate position.
In fact, he’s built a dynasty proving it.
I couldn’t see letting this one go by, and I’m not sure a natural market crossover between wow and Playboy already exists.
I’ve met him too - and his blonde accomplices. As you know Hef is ever the gentleman, but fair warning; those ladies will dunk you if he likes you too much.
I’m sure you will know how to handle the situation.

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