I’d say ArtNews or American Style (another art magazine). Why? It would mean that I had made it in the “high” art world.

rolling stone or vanity fair… they have the most incredible photography in those mags. especially vanity fair! And the title of the cover would be “not famous just totally kick ass”… lol

I’d love to be Vanity Fair’s cover (in all its editions worldwide!!!!). If you dream , dream big!!!, my grandma used to say……..

“The New Yorker” magazine. I would never be alone — just think of all the people I could peer out at in the Doctor’s offices, Dentist’s Offices, Attorney’s Offices, etc.

For me ………….. Architectural Digest ………….. it’s amazing that I’m still standing after all of these years!

Because I am 45 yo I would appear on More magazine. It is a wonderful magazine that celebrates ALL women who are 40 plus and very comfortable with their age.

Phyllis Doyle Pepe masturbates my massive ego, “You aren’t scary; you are just outrageously provocative.” Oh, oh dear, I so want to be scary. Being provocative is so docile compared to being scary. I love this when I walk into a crowd and men grab their privates, women cover their mouths and children take to screaming and crying. Phyllis continues, “I think I know where you’re coming from now. You remind me of Annie Proulx in your tall tales….” History will have Proulx one of the greats of American literature. She will be famous for a thousand years to come. Yes, I read Proulx and I am an avid fan. Her style and attitude comfort me; she reassures me I am not completely crazy nor completely without heart. Some Proulx: “While Cheri changed him on the kitchen table less than eighteen inches from Buddy’s coffee cup, he looked around to avoid watching her mop at Lye’s besmeared buttocks and scrotum. On the floor several feathers were stuck in a coagulated blob. Wads of trodden gum appeared as archipelagoes in a mud-colored sea while bits of popcorn, string ends, torn paper, a crushed McDonald’s cup, and candy wrappers made up the flotsam….” If there is a comparison to made, noting I am a fly speck compared to Proulx, this is our shared penchant for development of setting to tell a tale of characters within this setting. Very often, surroundings create a better story than a story to be told. Proulx and I are prone to using an emotional harshness in language, prone to presenting harsh reality. Clearly we both love cowboys and this lifestyle presented by rough riders, even if uncomfortable such as her admired Brokeback Mountain. “outrageously provocative” - I will work on my being more scary; you are catching onto me. You are very observant. Okpulot Taha Choctaw Nation

Lady Gator gives me a laugh, “With a cover like that you might also make the cover of the ‘National Inquirer’.” “Red Moon Attacks Capitol Hill — Martial Law Declared” Okpulot Taha Choctaw Nation

Agyness adds her 2 cents worth, which needs to be inflation adjusted to 2 dollars worth, “I, too, have been listening and hearing you of late….” Uh oh, I finally made “America’s Most Unwanted”. Bush is number one on this list, though. Agyness plays wtih fire, “I D double dare ya!” This could be a problem. I am not D double, I am only D single. Besides, if I flash my breasts at those stringless yo-yos over on Capitol HIll, they might think this a reward, except for Senator Larry Craig, but he is over in the House — bathroom this is. Careful, girlfriend, I almost always accept a dare. Reminds of accepting a dare and I end up being arrested for public nudity. Well, sorta arrested. I was let free after cutting a deal - cops could take photographs of me nude in exchange for not pressing charges, this and my telling a lot of jokes in my native tongue, Choctaw. I had those boys busting a gut with laughter. nan alhtoka kitihma ai ahuauchi la na? (readers are silent, scratch their heads) I suppose you had to be there to appreciate my joke. I am celebrating my birthday with hubby and many friends, along with a whole bunch of people none of us know. Short version here. We are partying at a river, drinking, smoking dope, skinny dipping, running around naked, loud rock n roll, hooting and hollering. I am really plowed and Choctaw police come driving up on a cow trail of a dirt road. Someone shouts, “Cops! Run!” Everyone scatters, run like crazy. I do the same, I take off running and look up just in time to stop from plowing into the side of their police car. I ran right up to the side of their cruiser and I am buck ass naked. Coyote pulls a trick on me. Inside, two grinning Choctaw cops, looking me over. All I could think to say, “Today is my birthday! I’m thirty years old!” Quite the comical story unfolds but I will save this for telling during my next lucid moment. Okpulot Taha Choctaw Nation

FORBES for the 100 most richest people in the world.

MONEY! As the only woman in history, living on Social Security, to amass a fortune after 65 as a come back after raising a large family as a single mother, and paying off medical bills from cancer three times - “presently trying to survive the antics of her off-spring!”

O magazine. Just to get Oprah off of it for once. Can you spell narcissistic?