Question of the Day | 05/27/2008 12:00 am

What were you told a 'real lady' had to do?

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My mother and her Swedish friends always pointed me toward Ms. Bergen (who was a year older) and inquired as to why I couldn’t be more like her. Alas. What my mother didn’t know is that neither of us were.

By Mugsy Peabody on 05/27/2008 3:21 pm

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The first time I wore a ‘straight’ skirt my mother advised me to ‘take smaller’ steps as, apparently I liked to stride which was not too feminine. She also told me to marry a rich man.

By Jay Valentine on 06/02/2008 5:17 pm

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Hum, coming from a girl who was a tomboy the list is forever long. My mother always told me how I need to be more like a lady. When she corrected me she never told me don’t do that she always said a lady doesn’t do that. I gave her a hard time growing up because I always march to the beat of my own drum.

By siasp surate on 05/27/2008 12:21 am

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I made a point never to tell my young daughters to act like a lady. Be polite and thoughtful, yes, but never that limiting phrase I heard so many times when I was growing up. They both turned out to be leaders - field hockey captains and student body politicians in school, event organizers and fund-raisers for charities afterwards.

By Katy O on 05/27/2008 8:25 am

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Have perfect posture, beautiful table manners, live on a few leaves of endive, speak and walk softly, avoid those who walk hard on their heels, have light blue Tiffany stationary and send a thank you the day you receive a gift, or the next morning with delivered flowers after a dinner or occasion. Don’t necessarily marry for money, but don’t cave and marry a pauper because he has a cleft chin like Cary Grant.

By Everyone--into the Rose Garden on 05/30/2008 2:05 am

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As a southern tomboy sandwiched between an older sister and identical twin sisters, it was more important to be “me” than to be a lady. I fought it until I was 16 and found boys. For some reason it seemed a great deal more important to be a lady…clean clothes and face weren’t enough. Style, manners, grace, and poise under pressure would get you a date with the cutest boy. Fifty=five years later I think it still works!!

By Doris Hefner on 06/02/2008 8:50 pm

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I real lady does not have holes in her ears, so I did mine at 14 with a darning needle; my mom had her’s done at 60! Oh well. :-) Linda

By Linda Myers on 05/27/2008 12:25 am

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Don’t just slurp lemon water from the finger-bowl, sip and dab.

By Emcye Edwards on 05/27/2008 12:37 am

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Girls weren’t Allowed to have ADD. It took total concentration to squeeze that penny between your knees. Until you could get your hands on a gumball machine. Drop that penny in, chew it and glue it. This frees up the mind to meander and think about sex.

By Emcye Edwards on 05/27/2008 1:15 am

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Boy! Clean underwear was a must in case you got into an accident and the hospital would see your underthings. Candice and Liz covered it pretty well. The only thing I can add is to never raise your voice in public, or speak back to a man. I think I flunked ‘real lady’ at a very young age.

By C A Rose on 05/27/2008 12:41 am

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I was also fiercely instructed that a real lady always keeps her knees together when she sits. (!!!!!) This was crucial information. This week my mother told me that she was at an event and invited to sit at the head of the table. She immediately declined retorting, “I prefer a man at the head of the table.” She thought this to be endearing, I can only presume. I however, cringed in horror at the thought. The confusing thing about all this is that I was raised in a rather nonspecific gender-role family. My father ironed his own shirts, was by far the superior cook and my mother enjoyed mowing lawns and painting the siding. Yet somehow today she still subscribes to such nonsense. There seems to be a great many women who still think they get special points for preferring a man at the head of a table. Just look at our election.

By Buh- Bye on 05/27/2008 12:43 am

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I was in Stratford Ontario and it was opening week for the plays. A man wearing a kilt next to us was never taught how to sit in a skirt. It was so funny. He plunked down into the seat and his kilt was caught in the arm rest exposing his entire thigh. then he reached between his legs to try and pull it down. After several retries at sitting - (he never got the idea of using his hands to assure his kilt would be under his ass when he hit the seat) he finally had coverage. So funny. Men probably don’t have a clue all that women go through to retain some modesty while wearing our clothing.

By Kay Sara on 05/31/2008 4:37 am

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A real lady ALWAYS kept her legs together, didn’t call attention to herself or her family in a negative way, and acted in a manner that invited social approval. I had the model of a mother who was a “real lady” when she was sober, but a “fishwife” when she was drinking. The contrast was so startling. Only later in life did I come to understand the curse of alcoholism.

By Jenny G on 05/27/2008 12:53 am

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Before marriage it was always ‘be sure you wear clean underwear’. But after marriage it was ‘Act like a lady in the parlor and a whore in the bedroom and for GodSakes don’t get the two confused’. I do remember her sense of humor. Wonder what would our mothers have thought about the thong underwear of today?

By Maggi D on 05/27/2008 1:11 am