I know (and love) that this is a women’s site, but let us please not forget that domestic abuse is NOT exclusively a "women’s issue".  Men and children are abused everyday by spouses, parents, and siblings.  Dave Pelzer chronicled his life and overcoming abuse in three very challenging books.  We are all called to action to see the evidence of abuse in our fellow human beings and not ignore this insidious issue in our communities and families any longer.

Great work, guys…we need more information to come out about this problem which has been called a social epidemic.  I’ve done 6 radio shows on my Crime Prevention 101 talk show about this topic (archived on http://susanbartelstone.com/crime101radio.html) including what we as the average person can do about it when we see someone abused (10/25/08); resources available including such sources as where to get donated reconstructive surgery for injuries caused by DV (03/14/09) and alternative methods for healing from the trauma of such abuse (05/02/09).  And, we still got so much to do.

Here are some more books, mostly dealing with verbal abuse which they claim can undermine a woman/man more than physical abuse can.

 

1. The Verbally Abusive Relationship - Patricia Evans

2. Verbal Abuse Survivore Speak Out - Patricia Evans

3. The Emotionally Abused Woman - Beverly Engel

4. Not To People Like Us - Susan Weitzman, Ph.D.

5. No Visible Wounds - Mary Susan Miller, Ph.D.

6. Why Does He Do That?  - Lundy Bancroft

7. The Bully In Your Relationship - Anne-Renee’ Testa, Ph.D.

One more book (2 million copies of this book in print)

"Men Who Hate Women & The Women Who Love Them" - Dr. Susan Forward and Joan Torres.

At my hospital once a year they have a Domestic Abuse table set up in the lobby with many phamplets in both English & Spanish available. There are also counselors from the Domestic Abuse centers there to talk to any woman who comes forward. It is something that should be done in more places. So many women do not know where to turn for help, and having this available is so very helpful.

More:

Men Who Can’t Love: How to Recognize a Commitmentphobic Man Before He Breaks Your Heart—Steve Carter and Julia Sokol.

Stalking the Soul: Emotional Abuse and the Erosion of Identity—Marie-France Hirigoyen

Violence and the Sacred—R. Girard

Obedience to Authority—S. Milgram

The Drama of the Gifted Child—A. Miller

For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child Rearing and the Roots of Violence—A. Miller

In Sheep’s Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People—George K. Simon, Jr.

Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us—Robert D. Hare

If you go to Amazon, or your library and search "physical abuse," "emotional abuse," "controlling behaviors," "narcissism," "sadism," and I wouldn’t overlook books on sociopathic and psychopathic behaviors, you’ll have a large history of what to read about abuse.  One factor I didn’t see mentioned in the earlier group discussion was "charm."  The fast work and lure of the charmer to get you in place for the abuse in the first place, and then the return to charm, after the damage has been done.  And it’s cyclical.  I would urge anyone ever beginning a relationship that seems to be going way too fast and seems too good at the onset?  Set your internal alarm to go off. 

 

oh my God..I have died and gone to heaven.  Thank you to all the women who have put a list of books out.  I am a woman abuse/trauma therapist and I can’t thank the people at WOW and the women who have responded to this awful nightmere that is happening to woman and their children.  I’ll sleep sound tonight .  For every male abusor I have met..he came from the most horrendous home..if we can stop abuse…what a world we would have!  THANK YOU ALL !!!!

Please add to your list my friend’s book "Beyond the Tears, a True Survivors Story".  Written by Lynn C. Tolson.  She has a group called TEARS—Telling Everyone About Rape and Suicide.  Lynn tells her story of domestic violence, sexual abuse and mental abuse and her recovery though counseling.

Diane BH, Tucson, AZ

We have a list of resources for various aspects of abuse listed here, for those who would like to add to their collections.

http://www.womenspeakoutnow.com/resources.html