My All-Time Most Unusual Letter

Dear Margo: My best friend "Anita" told me a year ago that a woman had come forward to say she was her half-sister from a relationship their father had in his early 20s. Everyone welcomed "Penny" into the family, no questions asked. They included her in family events, photos — you get the picture. A month ago, Anita asked to come over and I could tell she was upset. When she arrived, she told me of the most horrible betrayal. She came home from college a day early only to find her dad and Penny having sex! Seems the "daughter" story was a cover so that her dad could include his stripper mistress in all the family activities. Anita called her mom immediately after catching them; Mom went home to confront Dad and Penny; and in the most cruel, sick way, he said he wanted to flaunt his "daughter" to the family because he was making up for lost time in the sex department, and had also bought her a car and paid for credit cards in her name. Anita’s mom has filed for divorce, and she and her brothers and sisters refuse to have any contact with their father. Anita has been going to counseling and was told that her father was pathological. She has decided to change her last name to her mother’s maiden name to avoid the shame caused by her father. This is a small area and everyone knows. I feel bad for my friend and have tried to be as supportive as possible, but some issues only a professional can deal with. She knows I am writing to you to warn others of wolves in sheep’s clothing. There should have been DNA testing, but the family trusted both of them. It is all so sad. — Aching for My Friend

Dear Ache: I suppose a DNA test would have been prudent, but I doubt that many men would move in a daughter-age stripper-mistress and try to pawn her off as a long-ago love child. This father/husband sounds embittered, sadistic and malicious, not to mention totally devoid of any humane feelings for his family. They are well rid of him, and I suspect, down the line, he will get his. Your friend is doing exactly the right things, and something useful you might do is keep reminding her that no one thinks less of her or her family. This story is all about her sleazebag of a father. — Margo, disgustedly

There Was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe

Dear Margo: I’m going to take a lot of flak for this opinion, but I must vent. I am so tired of women complaining of their tough lot in life because some man has left them and their five children. I am always seeing pleas for help from the single mothers with multiple kids. What are these women thinking? Some have no means to support themselves, never mind children. One accident I can understand. It happens. Maybe even two. But five? I know that bad things happen to good people, but use birth control, women! He’s not going to love you more if you give him a basketball team. In these hard times, it’s going to be even tougher for all concerned if you have a pack of children. I know I sound cold- hearted, but I work with preschoolers and see, daily, the results of women having children they don’t really want and can’t afford. — Climbing Down Off My Soapbox and Waiting for the Backlash

Dear Climb: I can’t say I disagree with you, but here’s the thing: Outside voices (yours, mine, Planned Parenthood’s) are not meaningful or relevant to women who are careless, negligent or thoughtless. And ordinarily, it is the woman who is controlling this situation, one way or another. If you want to be proactive on this issue, I suggest you work with your local school board to perfect a powerful sex ed program that stresses the facts of life. And I don’t mean birds and bees; I mean the responsibility that comes with a child. It is, of course, too late for the single mothers who already have the children. — Margo, practically

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Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers’ daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.

COPYRIGHT 2009 MARGO HOWARD
DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS SYNDICATE, INC.

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