I had the horrible pain of my "friend" deciding she loved my first husband, and him feeling the same way. (I now realize, they are perfect for each other and have a wonderful husband of 8 years now). While I was married to Tom and 6 months pregnant with our daughter, they started sleeping together she became pregnant. So, my daughter has a sister that is only six months younger than her. They both get their looks from Tom’s side of the family and they look almost identical. 

After the divorced, the girls were about 1 and I took Ana to the doctors and his wife was there with their daughter. We were getting along for the most part and the girls loved each other so we sat together. This woman walked up and said… Oh how cute! Twins? The idiot adultress had no idea what to say so I answer no. Not knowing to shut up the woman declares they look like they could be sisters. I said, "They are." in a very short curt way. Still being an idiot she then says BUT THEY LOOK THE SAME AGE! I looked at her and his dumb wife and said in a much more curt way, "They are the same age! That one belongs to me and that one belongs to her. You figure it out."

Oh and we can’t forget my idiot neighbor lady, who after asking my son’s age and grade, informed me that my son was too old to be in 3rd grade, and asked him if he flunked a year. (The answer was yes.)

Sometimes the only thing that prevents me from responding to such a question with "Hmmm…you should shut your butt, your teeth are showing" is the realization that I’m approximately 30 years too old for a 6 year old retort.  ;-)

Letter writer no. 2 - do yourself a favor, drop him, and find someone who loves and appreciates you, instead of using you for his pity party/sex toy.  Wish I’d realized this before I wasted four years of my life on that particular boy-man.  Thankful that I *did* in fact wise up, toss him on his arseki, and am living the best revenge - living well and only vaguely aware of his presence in the world. 

It is really odd and disconcerting that people have so little courtesy that they feel perfectly justified in making all sorts of personal comments, or prying into someone else’s life, isn’t it? As a single woman, never married, I spent years fending off questions from relatives and strangers alike who seemed determined to plumb the depths of my decision to remain unattached. "Don’t you want children someday?" "When will Mr. Right come along?" "What are you waiting for?" and so on. Some people commented on my appearance, making suggestions for how I could "smarten up" in order to "snag" a husband! Good grief! So I empathise with LW#1 - it must be especially galling to have questions about one’s children asked right in front of the kids themselves. Talk about insensitivity on the part of these nosybots. I would advise the tactic I eventually employed: a bright smile and the query, "Why is my life so interesting to you? Are you bored with your own life?" That usually stopped the questions cold.

LW#2 - this is a no-win situation for you at this point. I think he’s made it clear that there are some mighty big barriers within him that prevent him from giving you what you need and deserve. As hard as it is, I think you need to move on. He appears to be getting exactly what HE wants at this point without reciprocating in a mature and loving way to you. Why stay? If he says he can’t love again (and he sounds like a character from a bad romance novel, my dear!) take him at his word and find a partner who will love and honor you. Good luck!

Ummmm jack freeman 025……….this is not a shopping site. Go peddle your wares on ebay.

LW1: Stupid is as stupid does.

LW2: Get a life ! Preferably without baggage-boy. You are in love with what you can’t have. Get over it and move on.

My husband and I (both in our late 40’s) have four children we adopted from Russia – 2 are 7 years old and 2 are 4 years old – none of them are biologically related.  Three are fair-skinned, beautiful and look remarkably alike and the other one is an olive-skinned, brown-eyed, beauty.  We get comments all the time…are they twins, cousins, etc.  We never hesitate to answer truthfully because our children all know they were hand-picked by God for us and have grown up knowing they were adopted.  (And if our story inspires someone else to consider adoption, all the better!) 

Yes, some total strangers ask inappropriate questions (e.g. "do you know anything about their parents?" being the most inappropriate) but most are just curious and amazed at how beautiful and smart they all are.  When someone states “well you’ve certainly got your hands full”, our response is always “yes, we do, but our hearts are fuller.”  As anyone with a lot of children knows, there is no truer statement.