I know from your old picture that you have at least one young child.

That was actually my niece I was holding in my old picture but- yes, I do intend on adopting. I’d love to have a big family but definitely don’t plan for all of them (or even a majority) to be my biological children. It’s just unfortunate that adoption is so expensive. I sometimes wonder if at least some of the people who have large families would have adopted, if it didn’t cost so much more than just having your own.

You can never be wrong.

Seeing as I already apologized about being wrong for assuming you were a Christian, your statement here is incorrect.

It is not "their" Bible. It is the Bible.

No, it is “their” Bible. There are several Christian Bibles out there. Most are similar enough that I wouldn’t need to know the denomination of the Christian in question to know what their Bible says, but some of them say vastly differently things than the others. I know that I certainly wouldn’t use the term “the Bible” if I were quoting KJV or NIV to, say, a Mormon or Jehovah’s Witness, because I’m honestly don’t know anything about the Bibles they may use. If those Bibles say the same thing, then we’re fine. However, if their Bibles differ, then I’ve given them an opening to say “that’s not what the Bible says” or “that’s not what my Bible says”.

Not to mention that I have discussed religion with people who have used phrases like “The Muslim Bible” instead of “the Koran”. Then there’s the added snag of me having friends who are Satanists to whom, if I said “the Bible”, they’d assume I was referring to The Satanic Bible or some other Satanic text (granted, not all of them, but enough to make it a pain)

Basically, it boils down to the fact that “your” is a neutral identifier that I’m assuming you took as an attack because you were already feeling defensive. Keep in mind that I cannot control how you read my words, only the way I type them.

So are you going to tell me that they aren’t Muslims that follow the Jihad?

I didn’t take umbrage to your assertion that there are Muslims that follow Jihad. The problem I had with your statement was the “many, many” part and the claim that there are more Muslim extremists than Christian extremists. If you make a wild claim like that, you need to back it up with some facts.

Wow, Mina D, assuming that expressing an opinion in a blog is in direct correlation to how a person conducts themselves in social situations with strangers.

I don’t enlighten anyone to my opinions in person unless prompted. For example, when a woman with 4 children asks me why I don’t want children (and all of you moms who do this, please stop doing this), I ask her why it’s appropriate to ask me such a question, when it would be inappropriate for me to ask her why she wants the 4 children she has. Then when she smiles and tells me—oh you’re young and you still have "time!" as though no one would ever decide to be childfree by choice, I say—I do have plenty of time to do as I please, and don’t you wish you could say the same, what with your hands so abundantly full!

Anyone who approaches a stranger and intrusively offers unsolicited commentary (unless the person or someone in their care is being abused or is at risk of harm) is a social buffoon. 

And you should never have children to fulfill a purpose of caring for you when you’re elderly. That’s shallow and selfish, and children deserve better than to be born with a task to perform. You have children to give them a life of their own, not to serve as your senior care attendants. Plan for your own retirement and healthcare, rather than burden your children. It’s something every parent should consider before having kids. Because believe it or not, you can have a dozen children and just one sibling, or not one sibling, will take care of you.

Perhaps you’re deducing that your mother doesn’t love being from a big family merely because she’s selfish, or perhaps you know this for a fact. But some people enjoy their personal space, quiet, and resources to pursue interests. Unless the big family has considerable monetary resources, this is not typically a reality for its members. Choosing or wishing to be unburdened doesn’t equate selfishness. Those who have autistic children would probably not characterize themselves as unburdened. It is a lifelong challenge and one that requires endless sacrifice, love, and dedication. Perhaps you desire the luxury of selfishness yourself. I know parents of challenging children who do, and it’s understandable.

As for what I wrote about those who want a lot of children being shallow, it’s because for everyone I know who has fulfilled this desire, their motivation WAS shallow. So it’s a generalization stemmed from my specific frame of reference. It wasn’t the men who wanted large families, it was the women. Some wanted to quit their jobs for good, some wanted the associated lifestyle, some had a continual need to have someone need and depend on them. Not one of them wanted a big family because they came from a big family and loved all the love surrounding them. Kids I know from big families never wanted to do that to a kid. So for those who you have to have many children, are you really considering the impact on the children, or are you simply fulfilling a selfish need. Is it really fun for muliple siblings to fight for their parents’ attention, for resources, for time, for quiet and space. I didn’t have a bunch of siblings and I’m glad, because those I know who did, didn’t enjoy it. I loved having quiet and space when I wanted it, and friends over when I wanted it. I loved that my parents could afford to send me to prep school and grad school without question. I loved having my own clothes. I loved donating my time to worthy causes because my parents had time to show me its importance. I loved having a close relationship with them without competing with others or feeling neglected. When those things became a negative, I’ll never know.