I am employed at a high school that deals with pregnant and young teen girls, our youngest is 12 and the oldest is 22, most of the girls that attend my school are throw aways, their parents kicked them out and never looked back, it is heartbreaking to say the least. It is dysfunction  at the highest level, "how can anyone else love me if my parents can’t?" is a statement I hear daily.

Maybe I am old school but, in MY book if you choose to be a parent, you are a parent for life, not until your child does something you deem unacceptable,I cannot wrap my head around the fact that people are willing to just turn their backs on flesh and blood so easily, what happened to our values, our heart and souls?

I was in the daycare business for 23 years and I had one little child named Jake, I cared for him when he was 11 months on up and that boy was gay, there was no way around it and nothing his dad did made a bit of difference, he was born that way, and I firmly believe that the universe, for whatever reason, made him the way he was. Thank goodness both of his parents accepted him and he grew up to be a beautiful kind hearted soul who never felt anything but love.

My oldest daughter admitted to me she is bi-sexual recently, am I happy about it? No, but, I love and accept her and my feelings will never change when it comes to her, she is my child and her sexual orientation does not make her who she is!!

I would like to know what Bible  you folks are reading? Last time I checked there is no commandment that says thou shall not be a Homosexual. Yes, it does say that man should not lie with man but there is no commandment. These so called religious people have a funny way of showing tolerance. I have noticed that So called Christan’s are the first ones to point the finger and dam someone. Correct me if I am wrong, but I could have sworn God said that Vengeance is mine, meaning him not us. Which means he is the only one to judge.

We as humans on this wonderful planet God built for us are suppose to accept each other and let God do the rest. I believe in God and all his goodness and when my sister came to me and told me she was gay I accepted her for who she is and let God do the rest. 

I don’t know Krista.  Maybe you’re right that we don’t know all the facts but…. all I know is that at our lowest lowest point (and in 40+ years we’ve had several, trust me) my mother would never allow more than a few weeks to go by without contact with me NO MATTER WHAT.  Can you seriously imagine not hearing your child’s voice for over a decade?  I know drugs and crime can force parents to make harsh choices, but sexual orientation?  Remember, she wasn’t just asked to leave the house.  She never heard from them again.

I’m always amazed what is done in this world in the name of God.  Wars, terrorism, stealing land from the native people of a continent.  Mormons consider themselves Christians (but that is the subject of another topic).  Christians should live their lives by the example set by Jesus Christ, who, I doubt would throw a person away because of their orientation.  He was about loving your neighbor as yourself and nothing was said about setting conditions on that love.  My Christian (he thinks) father has not spoken to me for five years and he is now 82.  As a children, my brothers and I were always threatened with being "disowned" when we didn’t agree with him.  Yet he attends Mass every Sunday and holy day, is active in the Church and considers himself to be the best Catholic.  Religion does strange things to some people, including giving them an excuse to turn their backs on their own flesh and blood.  There is usually no changing the mindset of people like this.  You just have to make peace with it yourself and raise your own children with unconditional love.

Didn’t Mel Gibson also think himself the best Catholic and even say his non Catholic wife wouldn’t go to heaven, but HE would? But I digress.

Nancy Cleveland you sound like someone with their head straight.

While I am religious, I also believe three very important things. One God loves us as we are. Two, it has been proven completely that homosexuality is but one of many natural genetic variations. Three to throw away that person we have brought into this world and nurtured is very common and shows a mental illness or fault with the parent and not the child with the cravat that the child hasn’t done something heinous such as a Jeffrey Dalmer. Homosexuality is not a choice but a biological decision brought on by genetics.

I lost my daughter at 18 to a brain tumor.

Having said all that, I would give anything to have my daughter back and gher sexual orientation would not be a contributing factor altho to put it bluntly, I am also of the don’t ask, don’t tell school for adults!

I think for letter #1 that the girl should forgive her mother even if it means she does not want to let her mother back into her life. Her mother should have been there for her and been a mother to her growing up. I’d like to believe that the mother is trying to make things right and is trying to say she’s sorry in her own way. But maybe the daughter needs to actually hear the words. They might not have a relationship in the works for the future, but with her not being frank to her mother and putting the cards on the table, they don’t have anything. At least with when she tells her mother how she feels and helps her find another way to contribute to the wedding they have something there.

Letter # 2, again, I think Margo is right. Her parents are set in their ways so she shouldn’t be shocked if they decline her invitation or even say a nasty thing or two. The most she can do is offer them a seat at the wedding and hope that with that gesture they try to keep the lines of communication open. Her parents may dislike her life style and object to it, but I think deep down they still love their daughter.

We could spend all day arguing over the "choice" of being gay (I haven’t personally found it to be a choice), but people feel how they feel, and sometimes there’s nothing more you can do.  At the end of the day, parents have a right to raise or disown their children as they see fit.  It’s tragic and sad, but those parents have chosen to remain parents only to children who aren’t true to themselves.  The upside is there is a plethora of people who are more than willing to accept and love the rejected children exactly as they are. 

I do like how someone called it "practicing homosexuality," as if people are brewing potions in a cauldron.  :-) 

Shani, I don’t know about ur God, but mine doesn’t make mistakes! U do remember that God made man in His own image? He makes all kinds of ppl…..some fat,  thin, pretty,  not so pretty, some black,white,yellow,brown, etc. etc. Those that r gay, r beaten, ostracized, disrespected, & generally made to feel other than human. They’re not offered higher paying jobs, & sometimes denied jobs altogether. My God made these ppl, & I, for 1, will never say anything against them! FYI….I’m straight!! I’ve had some friends who were gay, tho, & they were some of the nicest ppl u’d ever want to meet! I don’t know about ur God, but my God will even allow them in heaven!!

YES, There are reasons to "throw" your 19 yr. old child out of the house.  If they are abusive, if they steal from you, if they refuse to abide by ‘house’ rules.  If they make you feel like a prisoner in your own home.  HELL, yes - throw them out.  If they decide to be respectful, and choose to abide by house rules - fine - let them come back. 

BUT ONLY IF:  they choose to respect and appreciate what you’re providing them with.  A roof over their heads, utilities, laundry, food or home cooked meals and most of all parental love. 

PARENTAL LOVE: never stops teaching the lessons and consequences of life, even if it hurts.  Frequently, it really does hurt the parent much more than the child.

M.B.: You can’t swallow your rage. You are stuck without expert help.

Please, see an expert. Only when your rage leaves you will you be able to deal with the present and create a future for yourself……

For parents to say "I did the best I could" is not always good enough in my book. As a parent, you are supposed to gladly sacrifice for your child without expecting anything…… When things get tough, don’t cop out with "I did the best I could"….