OMG, LW#1 sounds like my deceased step mother (my blood auntie). when i was in my early teens (12 or 13) i started having problems with feelings like everybody around me that i loved was going to die. i was also very very scared of death itself. i just knew i was going to be all alone very soon. i was to new to knowing that i was experiencing ESP. once my mother figured it out, she took me to the elders (we were jehovah’s witnesses) and ask them to help me not be demonized anymore. essentially an exorcism but they didn’t call it that. 

the elder (who had known me from the age of 3) took me aside and asked me what was up and i admitted everything. he kindly told me that he knew i wasn’t demonized, but that my mother had it in her head that i was. so maybe i shouldn’t bring it up to her anymore. this was in the 70’s and i know the poor guy just didn’t know what to do. 6mos later my real mother (whom i thought was my auntie) and my grandmother both died within a month of each other. then i was all alone with my step mother with whom i never had really bonded with. i turned 14yrs old, 3mos later. 

my uncle died when i was 17 and my step mother when i was 18. because of her fanatic ways about the religion i left it after she died. fully after my second child was born and i separated from my husband who was also of that faith but abusive. 

i went through being an atheist for a while. but as time went on, i realized that i needed god as much as everybody else and joined my cousins church. but it just never seemed right to me. then i found buddhism. after that most everything fell into place and i was able to find god again. i just use a different prophet. so yes, it does sound like this person is giving an over the top letter. but ppl like the mother and father DO exist and do make it a living hell for those that are just trying to question their beliefs. 

the best thing they can do is keep praying for their daughter and hope she comes back around. but if she doesn’t (and she has every right not to) then they should still love her and care about her just as they always have. because the fastest way to get somebody to leave for good, is to push it down their throat. 

LW#2: margo, she asked how to get around this problem, not to just put up with it. she has already tried that. my suggestion is to get that sister in law to go to bat for her. tell her relatives how she feels. my bff says "a closed mouth don’t get fed". if she keeps holding her hurt in, it will just get worse. soon she will resent them and start to hate them. i say she comes out about what her SIL did and tell them how she feels. her wacko relatives are pretty stupid and until they get the point across she should tell her husband that ALL the dinners are at their house from now on!

LW1: Geez-louise !! I’d be completely creeped out if my mother was praying over my sleeping body and my dad was going to call the FBI because I questioned my faith. Your daughter has left the cocoon and is experiencing new people, new ideas and  learning about who she is. Let her grow up. Good solid morals don’t disappear over night. Frankly it’s the religious zealots who scare me more than someone not walking the straight path to God. God chooses who goes to heaven or hell, not you !  You might want to brush up on Matthew 7:2.

LW2: You can come and cook for me anyday !! My sisters cooked when I was growing up and I was the ‘baker’. To this day they still think I can’t cook ( I’m a great cook) and I let them think that. That way they cook all the big meals at family gatherings and I get to eat it all. Works for me.

I disagree with Margo’s advice to the young woman whose in-laws have decided she can’t cook.  This situation is not funny and needs to be dealt with immediately and her husband should be standing beside her.  When she took the meal over to her sister-in-law’s house and everyone was raving about the excellence of the meal, that was when she should have said, "It’s very heartwarming to hear your enthusiastic reactions - you’ll be surprised to learn that I cooked this meal, not so-and-so!"  I’d love to have seen the expression on their faces. 

Her in-laws are incredibly rude, insulting and mean - if they can’t behave decently, she shouldn’t invite them for meals any more.  Pretending to have eaten already when you’ve been invited to someone’s home for a meal despicable.  The situation can’t go on as it is - she will continue to be more and more hurt and resentful and she can’t do that for years and years.  Shame on them for the enjoyment they obviously derive from hurting her and putting her down.