Don’t be so sure LW#1 is a fraud.  Several years back, I worked with a nice guy who was also an "elder" in his Christian based religion.  He was smart man - very talented, whom I considered to be as normal as possible until he began talking about his beliefs.  Among them:

We’re ALL going to hell.  Himself included.  Heaven only has "so many seats" and they’ve been occupied for hundreds of years.

There is no such thing as evolution or dinosaurs.  All prehistoric remnants, such as bones, are fake and put there by the devil’s minions to fool us.

The Earth is not millions of years old - but around 5000.  Any proof to suggest otherwise has also been planted.

You should never, EVER, even think about having sex unless to conceive.  He had been married to his very lovely wife for several years and they had never consummated the marriage - as they were not yet ready for children. 

At first I thought this was all a joke and he was pulling my leg.  I soon realized that he was 100% serious and had many followers among the peers we worked with. 

Margo - I loved your mother & your aunt but I believe that I love you most of all - you are so humerous!  I loved the "just think of them a caterers" comment - perfect!  Really - sit back, have a cocktail & tell them how much you appreciate their "help". 

To Burn,

 I am guilty of doing the offer to help to avoid anothers cooking thing. I have a wonderful elderly family member who loves to cook, but won’t follow a recipe as written and loves to improvise, plus she does not believe in expirations dates or throwing out old food. 

I do not agree in taking the issue head on in a confrontation. There are other ways to get a message across. My sons and I lived with my in laws for a year while my husband was deployed. I loved my in laws dearly and they were great folks. However I was a bit cleaner than they were. I would wipe down the kitchen counters every morning and then when I got home from work there would be coffee drips and empty pink packets around the coffee pot. Drove me nuts. Finally I bought the canister of the sweet n low instead of the packets, thinking I was a genius and could address the issue without another word. As my mother in law helped me unload the groceries that day she saw the canister and remarked "so the pink packets driving you crazy were they?" We had a great laugh over it. 

 I think the fact that the Burn’s in laws try to help out, rather than criticizing is wonderful. Here she is getting extra help to serve a meal, which is a lot of work. Yes they have some peculiarities but so what, they aren’t asking her to change but rather trying to adapt to accomodate her. It does not seem like they are acting out of meaness or ill will, so give them the benefit of the doubt.  I would suspect from the sister in law experiment that hygiene may in fact be the issue.  My advice to Burn would be to look at what suggestions they are giving and what help they give when the come to see if she has areas that she can improve in.

OMG…no pun intended—I thought this letter came from MY mother! LOL Seriously—I’m the daughter who "fell away from the Church" and have never looked back. Yesterday, I had a conversation with my mother—who has decided that I must be pagan rather than atheist. 

Letter 1: who are you to judge your daughter anyway… isn’t that god’s job?

Letter 2: it is frustratin what  your relitaves are doing but try to push it out of your head and let them take over and you can sit back and relax.

LW#1 Yes, I was also raised in a strict religion and this is pretty close to how my parents reacted when I went to college and "fell away" from Mormonism.  I’m sure they put me on the temple roll and prayed a million times a day for me, but they also did threaten me!  I’m glad I left for good, I got tired of being a second-class citizen (i.e. woman).

 LW#2 I also wonder if there’s a sanitation problem the in-laws are afraid of.  And if so, I can’t blame them - yuck.

LW #1) Oh my, sounds like my English teacher from high school.  They weren’t all "holy roller" until they moved to the hamlet were the school was.. and EVERYONE there was all High & Mighty (most of the time, they were just high.. :( ).  Anyways, Mrs. Barker’s eldest daughter eloped with a young man that "fell from the church" (he’s the eldest son of one of the Baptist ministers who were there) and Mrs. Barker firmly believed, even ranting & raving in class, that Satanists had taken over the two of them and they were now cursed, bewitched, blah blah blah!  She even banned certain books from her classroom (Chronicles of Narnia?) because they reminded her of the "evil spell" that had been cast upon her daughter so she’d marry that man!

*sigh* It’s sad on how a great thing like religion can become totally topsy-turvy! Heck, my own DH’s original Catholic priest wouldn’t marry us in the church because I wasn’t Catholic! However, when DH switched to Orthodox, *that* priest was more than happy to marry us.. and that was 13 years ago!  I wonder how many other couples Father Tony refused?

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LW #2) I understand "Burnt" very well, as I have the  *same* exact problem w/my own beloved inlaws!  They’re reasoning?  I have cats/dogs.  I don’t know how many times I have to explain that cats are cleaner than kids (I howled in glee watching my 2-year-old nephew smear chocolate cake all over his mommy’s brand-new $1000 fabric window blinds.. funniest thing I’d ever seen!! B-I-L was boiling mad!! For the record, I *did* try to stop him from doing it, but Grandma told me to, basically, mind my own business.. LOL!!!) but because I have cats & dogs, obviously I’m filthier than swine.  Which is why they don’t come to my home any longer… which is fine by me!  I did, however, make a very simple dish at HER house and it was snarfed up in about 5 minutes, however.. so *I* know that my food is acceptable, just my furkids are not.

I’m reminded of FBI special agent Dana Scully who was a devout catholic. Kids who have been affected by cults are usually re-assigned to Christianity the biggest brainwashing cult in the world.  Same with drug addicts.  They’re re-assigned to Alcoholics Anonymous, an evangelical splinter cult.