Letter #2, I would love to know what this "whole bunch of other problems" is that you are referring to that happens anytime you try to stand up for your child and put a stop to this verbal abuse. Is it hitting? kicking? or just that the verbal abuse gets directed at you then?

I can complete understand the ex gloating over the fact that he is not allowed to see his grandson. It may appear petty to you, but understand that she was once in your position with three kids that she had to protect and she seems to have a better understanding than you do of what type of man he really is. Maybe what you consider gloating is for her, actual relief and satisfaction that he will not be able to have that kind of affect on the next generation as well. In which case, I am with her all the way.

This is a man that, as he is, should not be allowed around children because he is so completely clueless as to the damage he is inflicting. People have had their lives destroyed by parents acting out like this.

One last thing you might want to consider. Victims of abuse will not only come to hate the abuser, but the people who knew about the abuse and simply stood by doing nothing to stop it (or protect them), even if it was just because they didn’t know how or were afraid of making things worse. And rightfully so. And that is what you are doing by not getting your son out of there. Are you really willing to lose your son too? Because if he estranges himself from his father, he will estrange himself from you as well. Especially should you remain married to him.

He is your son. He is uncapable of protecting and defending himself or even taking proper care of himself at the moment. And you are failing in your duty to teach him how to do those things.

Stand up and do what is right for HIM! Take your son and leave until your husband can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that he will cease and desist with these attacks.

Letter #2-so many wise readers on here have told their own stories-if the mother of this poor child doesn’t protect her innocent child she deserves a lot of the blame. If her son manages to survive this sick, freak of a father (and with the self-esteem issues that are already there, I doubt it) he will dump his so-called father and her. If the mother doesn’t leave she is condemning her son to a lifetime of self-doubt, and failure.   It will take many years of therapy for this poor baby to recover, if anyone can totally recover from their parent treating them in this horrible manner. I’m sure when she leaves and takes her son with her that his older children will be glad to testify against daddy dearest, and if they get a judge with half a brain the only visitation the ‘father’ will get will be supervised-and I bet dad won’t even show up for that either.

LW1: Fantasies are just that. Keep it that way.

LW2: I’m so angry at your letter that I could SCREAM at you !!! What kind of mother are you that you would let some SOB treat your child that way? Do you realize what you are teaching him by not protecting him? You are teaching him that his daddy is right and he is a useless human being, so useless that his mother won’t even protect him. Your husband should be glad he isn’t married to me. I would have beat him senseless in his sleep the first time he verbally abused my child. Then I would have headed for the nearest womens’ shelter if I couldn’t do it on my own. Therapy isn’t going to fix this piece of shit. Get out before your son turns to drugs or kills himself or decides to kill the both of you. I don’t care if you’re being abused yourself as it sounds like you are and you’d rather have your poor innocent child take the brunt of it instead of you.  Women like you really piss me off !! Get a fricking backbone !!

PS:  I have written my opinion above, but I would like to say something about some of the other posts.  Having been abused myself, I don’t think that calling this woman "mental", "an idiot" or "bitch" is going to help her to leave this guy.

When women are in the type of relationship that she describes in her letter, they already have such a deflated sense of self worth that action is almost rendered impossible.  Notice how she doesn’t say anything about how he treats HER except with a cryptic "I want to step in, but that causes a whole bunch of other problems."? I don’t know this woman, or if she is listening, but to me, I think she wrote the letter detailing the situation with her son, because to write about herself is something she doesn’t believe she deserves.

I was lucky: those of you who know me here know I have NO PROBLEM  sticking up for myself and my beliefs (thanks, Mom and Dad!).  And my abuser didn’t hurt my child (he was actually a good father, just a lousy husband).  But there are many many women out there who don’t have that type of confidence.  This woman needs our support, not our anger (let’s put that where it belongs, on the scuzzbucket she is married to).

Distraught: my prayers are with you, and get the HELL OUT OF THERE!