Thank you - Couldn’t have said it better.

As for advice to LW1, I find it to be crap.  What kind of relationship are you maintaining with your sister if you downplay your life and try to turn convestaions into talks about hers?  Jealous or not, perception issue or not, I personally would not want a relationship with my sister in which I have to downplay the joy I find in my life so that I could avoid her hurtful comments.  There are all different types of sisterhoods - some are friendships, some are just relationships because of family relation.  I’m up for an honest and frank conversation with the sister - this is my life, that is yours.  Both are valid choices but I will not stop enjoying my life because you can’t just be as happy for me as I am for you.

And for LW2 - I have to wonder about the people that resent older parents.  As if, had they had the choice, they would have choosen to not be born instead of born to older parents?

Warning against pot is offensive?

Look at it from a purely selfish view. She’s in college so she’s, what, in her twenties? She has a long time left to live. If she gets caught with pot even once by the police, she has the chance of criminal charges, and because she is presumably over 18, that won’t be erased from her record at a magic birthday. Just about every job application has a section on whether you have ever been charged/found guilty or not, and marking yes is going to be a serious blow, especially considering how tight most fields are right now. How will her up coming internship take that? What if she can’t leave in time because she has to go to court?

Beyond that, her college may very well have a policy against drugs. And even if they don’t, it is quite likely that she’s on some sort of aid, because college is expensive.

It might be unlikely that she ever gets caught, but we don’t know the situation that she smokes in. I’ve known people who do it privately in their homes and never are noticed. On the other side, I know people who do it at parties and have been busted because the police came in. I knew another person who was busted because they were pulled over for speeding, and the cop noticed their car smelled like weed. It’s quite possible.

So really, the wise thing to do in this case is weigh the pros and cons of each thing. It sounds like she’s got a lot of things going for her - having fun, good education, wonderful opportunity in another country. Does she want to screw that up for a few hours of a pot induced high? Or does she find it so unlikely that she doesn’t worry about it? It’s all up to her, and it’s her decision. It’s quite possible that smoking won’t be harmful for her at all. It’s also possible that it will. She’s the one who decides what to do.

Thank you.  What everyone has been missing in this letter is that she is working two part time jobs as well.  Don’t you think that could have a bit to do with a 3.6 gpa (that is pretty exceptional in itself)?  She admits to smoking pot occasionally, not everyday.  How could that be put into a drug problem?  Working two part time jobs (which if she is working 20 hours a week per job could be a forty hour work week), is pre med with a gpa of 3.6, goes out and parties once or twice a week, and is worried about her relationship with her sister.  How does that work into the sky is falling?  To be honest, I would be darn tired if I were that girl. 

I think that if people were to ask doctors anonymously what their habits were and if they did recreational drugs while in college, a lot of you would be shocked.  I have to point this out, Doctors are human too.  They went to high school and college and probably did things they shouldn’t of while they were there.  It could of been drinking, recreational drugs, cheating on tests, or being a total bed hopper.  Who knows but people tend to forget that they are normal, human beings with lives and families. 

I wish her luck and hope that she can work things out with her sister.  As they need to find common ground with each other.

Chuck - Margo said "…a young woman of my acquaintance who was 13 when her 80-year-old father died."  If she was 13 when she made the statement about geezers, then I would agree with you.  However, Margo described her as a "young woman," so she could be still a teen, but she could easily be anywhere from 20 to 35 (my mother would describe a 35-year-old as a "young woman").  If she’s in her 20’s or 30’s and is still adamant that "geezers" shouldn’t have children, maybe there is more logic and substance to her story (though perhaps not).  But I’m positive that Margo wouldn’t be quoting 13-year-old in pain; Margo wouldn’t share it with us if she didn’t think the woman’s opinion was worth considering.