My sister was pathologically jealous of me all thru childhood and adulthood. I was jealous of the baby when our youngest sister was born when we were in our early teens; but grew out of it as we both left home when she was just starting school.

I have a relationship with my younger sister now we are in our fifties, well she is close enough to fifty! My older sister has done some really horrible things,  many lies and insults so I cut her out of my life some years back.

Families are not for the fainthearted and unless you are in the situation, you are better off lending only very general support.

L#1 - 1. We are all products of our own decisions. 2. Our decisions take us walk our own unique paths. Important: There is no right or wrong path! 

When you see your sister, instead of rattling off all the things you’ve done lately, which just encourages the competition, ask her about her life first.  It may not excite you as much as going to France, seeing your friends, going to school, and partying, but it is her life and she needs validation just like the rest of us.  As a young mother, she might just need to know you support her and if your sister sees that you respect her and her life choices, perhaps she will begin to respect you and yours. 

L#2 - By the time the child is out of high school, this father will be in his mid 70s (at least).  For what it’s worth, the life expectancy for males in the US is 75. He may well live to be 100, but the truth of the matter is, by that age, serious health issues often begin to rear their ugly head. 

I applaud this young woman because she is doing what so many people (young and older) do not do - she’s thinking ahead.  Granted, an older couple has a different set of odds, but any couple considering having a child should consider the loss of the other spouse - financially and emotionally - before the decision is made. 

Ask yourself if you can take care of a child alone if necessary.  If the child is developmentally challenged, requiring your care throughout the child’s life, could you do this on your own in the future? And if worse comes to worse, can you take care of a child (or a teenager) while worrying about and/or taking care of a sick spouse? And if these things happen, how will you talk to your child and help them through something that few of their friends will understand?  I know no one likes to think of these things, but if you bring a child into the picture and death or sickness strikes, it’s a guarantee that your child will be thinking about it whether you did or not.  

Each person is different and if this man has a history of longevity in his family and if he’s physically healthy now, then perhaps a child is the right idea for you. In the end, this decision belongs entirely to the two of you - all I can say is if you have any doubts - after the child is born is not the time to address them.

L#1 - 1. We are all products of our own decisions. 2. Our decisions take us on our own unique paths. 3. Important: There is no right or wrong path! 

That’s what I meant to say in the first paragraph above… my brain got ahead of my typing!  Sorry!  :)

I just have to say as an older sister, I will ALWAYS be an older sister and will ALWAYS have sibling issues with all of my sisters…that is just life.  We are all grown up now with kids and lives of our own; but we still nag, give unsolicited advice, fight, complain, etc and we laugh, hoot and holler and have fun!  I guarantee, one phone call for help and we would all be there in heart beat. 

We have all chosen different lives and paths and as the sisters in the latter get older, things will shift and change.  But if they are like my family, they will still be critical. If you can look yourself in the mirror and are happy with the choices you have made, just take it all with a grain of salt.

Just my experiance and opinoin.

My mother was 38.5, father was 41 when I was born. 

I don’t know if this point has been addressed, but I found that the burden shift (when parents require more assistance from their children) came at a far less optimal time in my career compared to colleagues who were dealing with similar challenges (with parents the same age as mine).

Whereas I was a more junior (less powerful in the workplace) associate, my colleagues (older, further down their career path- with parents the same age as mine) had FAR more leeway and flexibility in dealing with their parents’ trials and needs than I did.   (Example:  When you’re the director, you can dictate your schedule more easily than when you’re the *assistant* director.)

I know that it made a significant negative difference in several career situations in my 30’s- I had to make decisions to benefit my elderly parents when other work peers that were my age (with younger, less dependent parents) did not have to say ‘NO’ at work, say no to the overseas trips, etc. 

Yes, I love them, glad I made the ‘right’ decision, etc.- but I do think it made a difference.

Ten years of seniority in the workplace (and in my own maturity level in dealing with their needs) would have been VERY VERY helpful. 

I agree with KatyDid Wells, she makes alot of sense.

Dawn I was trying not so successfully to use a another term for something. Its like one of my daughter’s friends who isn’t interested in a relationship at this time. But she has a pillow friend. They sleep together and are just friends.