Apparently Sean is not "the one."  If we were, you would be over the moon to be with him since that is what you wanted.  Grown Up Adult Alert Coming: YOU are not the focus anyway, you three children are the focus, or should be.  What on earth are and your husband thinking (or NOT thinking) about what you are saying and showing to your children. Gee…I want a chocolate ice cream cone…no wait…I want a vanilla cone…no wait…I want chocolate. Poor Poor Poor children to be subjected to such terrible and immature parenting.

LW#1: I know some good recipes for crow, any time you’re ready… though it doesn’t sound like you’re aptly prepared for such a meal. I share all the previous sentiments, including and especially that your husband get sole custody until you’re no longer less mature than your kids.

LW#2: What Margo said. I think your mother would be happy to know you want to honor her so well.

some ppl just have to have the cake and eat it too! you don’t want your husband when you have him and then when you find out he has found somebody else you want him again. what a selfish person you are LW#1. let go and get over it. you only want him because somebody else wants him. then as soon as you get him back all the problems and boredom will come back. you need to get away from him and let him live his life. you deserve what you get. especially after stringing your husband along like that.

how would you like it if he had done that to you? your selfish, stupid and immature.  i hope he gets custody of the children because you don’t sound mature enough to raise them yourself.

LW#1 - It is time to make the choice. In all fairness, everything you did by communicating with Sean while married, resuming communication with him after the birth of your child, beginning an affair with him - all of that led to his stepping away from his marriage, and your stepping away from yours, despite your husband’s willingness to try to work things through. The fact that you did not feel you wanted to invest in that option tells me you are not truly invested in the relationship at all with your husband. So let him go. Let him now get on with HIS life, and take the plunge with Sean. But honestly, you also might want to contemplate the chaos you created with your choices. You cannot have it both ways, and clinging on as you are is creating more chaos. And when children are involved, you have to think first of their needs. What is going through their minds now? What will the fallout be in the future? What lessons are you imparting, what values are you teaching, when your own behavior is so chaotic and self-centered. Make the break, try to clean up as much of the residue as possible and for heaven’s sake, think about getting some kind of counseling.

LW#2 - You are in a difficult position, but in reading your beautiful letter, I saw someone who treasures the wonderful gift your Mom was. You will never stop missing her, but you seem to have reached a place of great peace and happiness at having had her in your life. Bless you, and keep her spirit close to you in your life, and you will be a blessing to others, especially your Dad.

#1 My response to you is that can appreciate that u where bored in your marriage or possibly thought that u were out of love i get it we all only human and things in life change>>>>>>i.e. our feelings, our looks, we grow out of people and each other, but in your situation so that u are not judged like this you should have left your marriage first and got into you before you jumped in bed with someone else..This is why your story is stricking such a bad cord with folks>>> Sometimes  our actions are not thought out carfully and we make mistakes…Just remember in a marriage it is not just you in the relationship it and the whole family involved and we have to not be so selfish when it comes to our feelings and wants….That affair was a want not a need we have to learn how to pick our battles and poisons…

karen

Dear Greener Grass: Grow up. What goes around comes around.

I hope your ex-husband is very happy with his new lady.

One word of warning: a person who will cheat with you will cheat on you. Caveat emptor.

Case # 1: How can a woman being this selfish be a good mother?

I don’t think so. You lead by example. As a former CASA volunteer,

I would recommend that dad gets full custody and mom gets limited visits.

Only a family therapist will be able to assess the damage that this woman has inflicted on her children already.