#1 my ex-husband’s ex-wife’s current husband (according to my step-daughter) asked her, "what happens if we get divored?" She told him then she’ll find another husband. He got mad and said the right answer should have been that that they weren’t getting divorced. He got soothed over and thinks she didn’t marry him for his money. She divorced my boyfriend when he lost his high salary job and no prospects for another good job at 50 in the oil field which is where everybody is under 50 years old. I guess this guy didn’t get the hint where her mind was really at. No wonder she dumped my boyfriend at the first sign of trouble. No loyalty at all.

#2 I have no idea how to deal with an Imela Marcos type of guy. He’s just weird. I’d dump him.

Number #1 made a telling comment *I don’t have the time or money for an education*.  I think the real problem is you don’t want to have to do the work necessary to get one.  If you did, you could support yourself and marry for love not money.  I went to law school at age 27 on loans, work study projects and summer jobs.  My niece did the same at 24, 24 years later.  If you wanted to do something other than be cossetted by a man, it can be done.  I love the joke about middle-aged (or older) rich men who cannot understand that beautiful young women are not looking into their eyes with love but at the platininum American Express card plastered on their forehead.  (Donald Trump comes to mind here although he probably has some sort of super duper black diamond platinum  uranium American Express Card on his forehead).   And frankly, any man who would marry you after you tell him you are marrying him for his money is probably going to treat you for just what you have proved yourself to be.  

#2…I wouldn’t dump him but I would suggest that you get some brief counseling so you can communicate your fears about his obsessive shopping.  And I definitely would not bring children into the mix until you two can work out this issue.  It may be something easy to resolve or hard to resolve.   But if you love him, I hope you can resolve it. 

I definitely think LW #2’s husband needs therapy for his compulsion. She only needs to talk to someone about how she should handle him while he’s getting his therapy.

 As for LW #1… whore.

I think # 1 is about on the same level as a young woman I work with, who touts herself as a professional model with her top job lately paying her 1000.00 to strip at a rapper party, and trying to convince me that a "go-to" can occur late at night to try for a job. My grandson spent his early years modeling for an agency, so her use of the lingo and agency recommendations are a joke.  If the nice guy she is dating has a clue that his own children are considered "baggage" that is taking away from her being financially taken care of, I hope he dumps her. 27 and lazy, hoping her body will be a useful asset in life.

#2 Seems these type of people are trying to feel a gap for what has been denied in their life but somehow they had seen as being available, I have a friend that is old enough to be my mother, yet spent 30 years married to a very financially stable man who kept her in vinyl purses, and little materially she could posess. So when the marraige was over, she became fixated on buying items she was denied before. 

i don’t know what to say about LW#1. my BFF is very much like that. but in the end fell in love and they were married 15yrs til he died from complications after a heart operation. but she always said "p—— ain’t free!" never give it away. so some ppl just think like that. so if you like it, i love it. but as far as it goes, yes a man should be able to do right by his woman. but that doesn’t mean he has to be rich. she should also put what she can into it also. i don’t care if the guy works at a fast food restaurant or sells newspapers on the street corner, if he is willing to split his bean however many ways it takes to keep himself, his love and any children happy, then that is all it takes.

loving somebody just for their money usually gets boring. it can also be very lonely. especially when he falls in love and divorces you for the real love he couldn’t get with you. also you know you cannot do this forever. believe me i know. i worked in a major furniture store and all i saw where older guys with younger women. but after they were only mid life crisis women who dumped them for the pool boy later. but if the did decide to keep their trophy wife, eventually she would get replaced by some other young thing when she starts to wilt or stays young looking, but he knows she is not. so maybe once you get your rich guy, you should go back to school and get some education so that when he dumps you, you will have some way to take care of yourself and not just be an old unemployable hag!lol!

LW#2: therapy for both of you or join him in his obsession. if he can afford it, why not! 

I don’t think that marry for money is inherantly wrong, as long as everyone is on the same page beforehand. However, I’d like to know what LW#1 thinks is so great about her that she deserves to be "taken care of".

Is she beautiful? If that’s all some guy is seeing in her (just as all she’s seeing in him is dollar signs) then I’d suggest she get a great lawyer to work out a good deal for her in the pre-nup, because I foresee a divorce coming when her looks start to fade. I can’t imagine it’s her sparkling wit and intelligence, because most smart girls know that men can dump you at any time and would be pursuing a degree (enough time or not)

Thankfully, she says kids are a deal breaker, so this hypothetical future husband won’t just be taking care of her because she’s his stay-at-home-mom (I have nothing against stay-at-home moms and I hope to be one myself some day, but I certainly wouldn’t marry for money just so I could be one)

LW #1, comes off as vain and shallow to me. Frankly, I think there is something wrong with marrying for money. If she were to sit down and write a list of her attributes, I doubt it’d be very long. Get a job, an education, and have some pride in your accomplishments for your fellow man.

 LW#2, counseling sounds in order. Good luck. 

Ltr#1 You’re a young-woman. There’s lots of educational opportunities available to you. You’re trifling and lazy and looking to be taken care of .

If you should decide to attend school take some courses in marital law. Hopefully you’ll learn how to assist your future lawyers in negotiating a better divorce settlement.

 Obviously you’re not on top of your game. If you plan to remain in your present thinking mode like Margot said there’s a name for what you’re doing. In that case "FAIR EXCHANGE IS NO ROBBERY."

Ltr#2 I’m certain there’re organizations to help your husband with his shopping addiction. There’s always therapy.

In my experience marrying for money does not work for either person.  After living with my partner for 7 years, he suddenly decided we should marry.  I was surprised (he was 58 and never married, I was divorced) but thrilled that he wanted to take this step to a deeper commitment.

At the time I was under consideration for a promotion and move to a foreign city.  Several months later I was posted to London UK, where I remain today.  It took four years of increasingly cold, distant behavior for me to figure out that he had married me for the life in London and the salary that came with it.  

I was devastated when he told the judge at our divorce hearing that it wasn’t a real marriage because he only married me for the visa to London and the financial support.

I had happily paid all our living expenses in London, while maintaining a home back in the states and taking us on several wonderful trips around Europe.

He is furious that the judge gave me our home and that he received nothing from me.

I am now happily single having learned a hard lesson and am working on remembering the good times and forgiving him for the pain we both suffered.

Ha, ha, ha! What a knucklehead letter writer #1 is.

My favorite part is how her "hobby" is traveling, yet she doesn’t have the "time or money" for a college degree. Interesting.

Through the subsequent details she reveals that she basically brings nothing to the table, but her physical being.  The silliest part is that she appears to be so self-involved that she doesn’t even realize how whacked out her own thoughts are.

Here’s a free piece of advice: get a job, get a government-backed student loan (google FAFSA), get some type of higher education, fund your own apartment, car, and expenses, travel the world on your own dime, and be sure to pick up some birth control along the way.