Not sure why some of the posters are so vehemently opposed to Belinda’s approach.  HR depts are there for a reason — one of their functions is to address complaints of hostile work environments for anyone — temp or not.  In fact, they are legally obligated to do so.  If employees are more willing to be professional and direct for the good of the company, bad workplace behavior may not be as prevalent and tolerated.  I’ve hired many temps/contractors over the years.  If I found a good one who was hard-working with a good work ethic, you better believe I would listen and act on a complaint, especially if it was delivered in a calm, professional manner.  Companies don’t want to lose good, productive workers.  In fact, the lout sounds like he’s extremely unproductive, and the company may welcome this information as ammunition to get rid of him.  In this tight job market and economy, companies need to be as lean and productive as possible.  Even so called "buddies" of supervisors are not exempt or protected anymore.  I would put it in writing — stating your concern about the risk to your job — but from the perspective about how it hurts the company (productivity, morale, losing business from clients who may overhear, etc.).  Yes, there is some risk to your job, but do you want to work for an organization that tolerates that kind of crap once it’s brought to the forefront?

omg…if you can’t get the clod to act like a man, then use emabarrassment to shut his trap.

"you know about men who talk about sex all the time…they GET NONE!?" or tape his sorry ass conversations and play them back to him the next day when he starts on his new exploits.

what BS………must have a small dick to act like such as big one!

I’m responding about the sexual conversations on the job.

The HR department entirely depends on who heads it.

Years ago, I worked for a start up computer company in Silicon Valley.  It was a really bad economy when I was graduated from college in the 1980’s.  And despite being tri-lingual, and graduated from one of the Seven Sisters, it was very, very hard to get a job.

Eventually, I took a job as a receptionist at a company which was not called Simile, but its counterpart.  (You can figure out the name if you want.)   At first I worked for a delightful, kind woman.  Later they hired an HR professional, who offered me 2K more than she delivered. 

I threw all the company parties.  Weekly beer & wine busts, monthly more important hotel-based meetings, and the Open-House, Holiday, etc parties where we spent the big bucks.

At any rate, sexual harrassment happens & HR may not care. At a hotel-based meeting, the manufacturing manager manipulated me into crying.  Then he asked me out.  Eeeeew!

I told the HR manager, who told me that I was imagining the sexual harrassment.

No, I wasn’t. As I spoke among the other young & pretty admins, I was not the first. In fact, one of the new receptionists had moved off the manufacturing floor because he was rubbing himself against her.  

I discovered that he’d been fired from his previous job for sexual harrassment.  My HR boss was only in favor of the bosses.  So, since HR was useless, I had a tougher admin who worked for the VP of Engineering complain to that VP the next time the manufacturing manager hit on her.  Mr. Frottage was gone  within the week.

There are really good HR people out there.  There are really bad ones.  I’ve had both.

You can work around them.

Cheers,

Constance

who is all in favor of anonymous recordings ending up in HR

Even as a temp, you should be able to send an anonymous letter to HR (assuming that there are more people around than just you and the 25-year-old in earshot of these conversations).  If you company is like most companies these days, calls - whether incoming, outgoing, professional or personal - are monitored and/or recorded.  I would write a letter stating that you "were in the area of" this guy’s desk when you overheard a "very explicit" call, and recommend that they either review the current records of calls, else begin monitoring the calls this guy is making/receiving.  Make sure that a copy also goes NOT TO YOUR SUPERVISOR (who is buddies with the offending party) but to your supervisor’s boss.  Make it clear to HR and the Big Boss that the offensive oaf and his commanding officer are both problematic.  Then give it time to arrive and "filter down".

 Meanwhile, as a temp, I’d speak to your personal rep at the agency that placed you there (if that’s the case, and the way you were placed in the position) and let them know what’s going on.   My guess is that the offensive party is the reason they have to get a temp in the first place.  I, as a temp, worked as a personal assistant to a vice president for a software company.  The man was going through a divorce, and - while he WAS in his office and the office was widely separated from the remaining employees - he would often receive calls from the soon to be ex wife.  He would call her things that I wouldn’t repeat in any company (including the "C" word, more than once) and would then emerge after one of those calls to be nasty and hateful to me.  Eventually it was too much for me to handle and I left — but on the way out, I stopped by HR to tell them what was going on, and that they might want to put either a male temp in the job, else put a muzzle on the Veep.  :)  I received glowing letters of praise from a number of co-workers and the HR rep, sent to my temp agency, because of what went on.  It helped immensely in them placing me in another position right away.

Record (digital or tape) the illicit conversations, so you can document the evidence - in court, in case you’re fired.

Re: LW#1

I was in almost the same position as LW#1 and all I can say is document, document, document, and record.  

 I worked as a temp admin in a medium sized office and was constantly surrounded by macho jocks who thought it would be funny to make really inappropriate remarks both in and out of my hearing.  The last straw was when one of the IT guys started coming over to my desk in the morning and would ask me about my boyfriends and what I liked to do in bed.  I asked them to stop several times and when that didn’t work, I decided to document everything.

I decided to write down each and every time I heard off color comments directed at me and who I heard saying them.  I also went out and brought a mini recorder and started recording the comments the IT guy was making to me.  I inadvertently managed to record a couple of the inappropriate remarks as well which just helped my cause.

It took about 3 months for me to get up the courage to report the harrasment to my contract manager, but when I was brought in and reprimanded by the ole boys club at the office, having that documentation to back me up was priceless.

It’s been about 6 months since everything went down, but the last I heard, a couple of supervisors were let go and everyone in that office had to undergo mandatory sexual harassment training. 

I’m at a new temp job now and things are a lot better than before…of course when you’re at the bottom you can only go up..right? 

#2. I don’t know where you live but there are many resources for grieving children and their families nation wide. Two of these resources are the Dougie Center in Portland, OR or Ted E Bear Hollow in Omaha, NE.  If you google the contact info I am sure that either one of these organizations can help you find resources in your area. Most services provided are either free to participants or offered at a nominal cost. Another resource would be the Centering Corporation  (www.centering.org) they offer many resources to help people deal with all kinds of grief.

That said ~ please remember that it is entirely NORMAL for people to grieve and every person grieves in their own way and in their own time. Grief is not a pathological disorder that needs to be "fixed". Encourage these kids to share their feeling, their memories and to do something special to remember their dad.