Question of the Day | 10/29/2009 4:00 am

Driving skills? Handwriting? What do you find is the strongest indicator of someone's personality?

Sheila Nevins, Candice Bergen, Mary Wells, Joan Ganz Cooney and Liz Smith share other telltale signs of a person’s character …

Liz Smith | 10/29/2009 12:00 am

Tip Big Around Liz Smith

How people treat waiters, cab drivers and others who are in service positions. Lack of common courtesy is a big tip off to me.

13 Comments

Joan Ganz Cooney | 10/29/2009 12:00 am

Joan Ganz Cooney: The Mind of a Mad Driver

I don’t think a single trait like aggressive driving really tells you much about someone’s personality. My brother-in-law is the single sweetest, least aggressive person on the planet but used to drive (he no longer is able to) pretty aggressively. I always figured that was a situation in which he could express his inner man, but it was hardly the key to his personality. One of the most fascinating, interesting and pleasant people I know does not treat, let us say, the servant class very well. Of course this means he has some anger in him but it is hardly the key to his personality. I believe most of our personalities are a mix of traits and I am continually surprised, often in a good way, by people I thought I had figured out.

3 Comments

Candice Bergen | 10/29/2009 12:00 am

Candice Bergen: Shoes Make the Man

Handwriting doesn’t always work as two of the best and most intelligent people I know have the cursive of a cripple. My husband, however, has beautiful, graceful, sensual handwriting. It shows a level of education, the REGION in which a person is raised, intelligence and a certain intellectual organization. Or lack of. Shoes for me speak volumes. Especially about men. And I would never even consider a man who wore certain species of shoes. Thank God, my husband walked into my apartment in an elegant pair of loafers.

11 Comments

Sheila Nevins | 10/29/2009 12:00 am

How Sheila Nevins Reads People

Four things:

1. When they say I look younger than I am.
2. When they say I look thin.
3. When they remember my birthday.
4. When they buy me an expensive gift.

6 Comments

Mary Wells | 10/29/2009 12:00 am

Mary Wells: Discovering Someone's True Personality

Handwriting can be altered or trained. The way people react to problems that hit them gives you a picture of what to expect.

4 Comments

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59 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

I’ve two dogs and a cat and their all very friendly, but for not an instance show anything evil, or bad and they will turn. They have protected me when I was jumped and that is how the cops found the jerk but the bite marks on his leg. But if your good to them they respond. My Mac for some reason I do not know has always had a hard time allowing anyone to touch the top of his head and he is a spoiled bratt of a dog (all three are 14). The love and they protect, and can all be very shy, I think an animals instincts should be observed, they can tell bad from good a lot sooner then humans do.

By Deniseann Taylor on 10/30/2009 12:32 pm

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I know some really great people but their handwriting sucks - I tend to be an aggressive driver and I do think that fits part of my personality. :)

I do my best to treat others as I would want to be treated.

By C Hardy on 10/29/2009 7:18 am

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Eyes, and the feeling I get inside. I have met people who are incredible to look at, who also make my stomach flip and feel nauseated being around them - trusting my own gut instinct.

My daughter works as a server and these times have been brutal. Every tip is thier lifeline in how they can take care of family. Oprah made a suggestion not too long ago to reduce tipping, which has also stung servers - if Oprah says to do it, people just follow.

By Linda Myers on 10/29/2009 8:05 am

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i’m sorry about that. as long as have the money to tip i will tip. usually if i feel it’s not enough, i will tell the server that i’m sorry and wish i could give more. but i won’t downside my tip unless i really have to. she is rolling in dough and would NEVER have a problem tipping. yet she tells others to reduce their tipping. just where does she get off and why would she say something like that? i don’t blindly listen to ppl like that, just because they are celebs. it’s sad that other ppl do. good luck with your daughter and her job!

By Nancy Pea on 10/30/2009 3:35 am

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oh i forgot to add, just tell her to keep giving ppl good service even if they don’t tip or aren’t the best customers because i have found some customers test their servers. i worked as a slot attendant at different in-store casinos all over the reno area for 2 different companies. what i noticed is that when i gave gracious to treatment to EVERYBODY whether they tipped or not, i got happier customers, nice smiles and some big tips out of ppl that wouldn’t usually. this of course made me coworkers mad because they couldn’t get tips like that out of ppl because they treated them bad. gamblers are some of the most superstitious ppl. my ex husband had to tip (even for free drinks) or he believed he wouldn’t win and then when he won he would tip extravagantly or he wouldn’t win again. i found some of the worst tippers just wanted to see if you treated them the same no matter what. then after they are satisfied with that. everytime they win you do to! so again, good luck with your daughters career and i hope things pick back up!

By Nancy Pea on 10/30/2009 3:43 am

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Thank you. When she loses a tip, it is usually from the kitchen side, either the food was not done on time or done correctly. Restaurant patrons hold the server accountable for the food also and all aspects of the visit starting with the hostess. When it all comes together from everybody, satisfaction is usually rewarded. A true asset for servers are thier regulars and the repeat business they bring through the door for both her and who she works for. These days the secret shoppers also play a vital role in business, they are hired by the franchise to do thier job and it keeps servers more aware of treating everyone as if they could determine the future of the job.

By Linda Myers on 10/30/2009 8:40 am

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Linda,

Click on the link below to learn that that is just another urban legend…

We’d like to respond to your concerns raised about Oprah’s thoughts on
tipping. The truth is that Oprah has never said that people should tip
less during the recession. She believes in generously compensating
waiters and waitresses. I hope this is helpful. Please know we hope
good things for you.

-HarpoBear, Oprah.com Community Producer

http://www.oprah.com/community/message/1145750

By Lucinda Herbert on 10/30/2009 9:23 am

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The fact is, truth of fiction an archetype has been created attached to Oprah. She is yet to publicly dispell this as not being her thoughts, only Harpo’s standard response to comments. What is real, is the damage done. This world seems to follow Oprah like a goddess trying to get her attention, and following her prompts in the process, which I really don’t understand the reasoning behind it. She is power, if she truely stands behind the repeated above statement distributed by the moderator of Harpo on her site, it would not take 15 seconds on her show to acknowledge that fact in defense of servers or service people in this country. As far as I am aware, that has yet to happen. I can only hope that it does.

By Linda Myers on 10/30/2009 10:24 am

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I agree 100% with how service people are treated. I own a service business. Most people don’t even take the time to tell us that we have done a good job, they just pay for the service and send the employees on their way.

When my employees get tips, or if the customer is appreciative but can’t afford a tip, they call and let us know what a great job they did. That says a lot about that person.

By Eldebbo C on 10/29/2009 8:28 am

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I need to add this about handwriting and driving.

1st -handwriting- I am considered a caring, loving, thoughtful, honest, educated person, but I have terrible handwriting. My brother-in-law is left handed and has beautiful handwriting, but is untrustworthy, selfish, hateful at times, and very dishonest about a lot of things.

2nd - driving- my grown son is very laid-back, calm about most things, and even quite most of the time, however, he has been known to express road rage to an extreme.

By Eldebbo C on 10/29/2009 1:12 pm

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I can gauge a person’s personality on 3 factors:

1. Eye contact. People who can’t look me in the eye when speaking with me come across as insecure and unsure of themselves, possibly shy.

2. How they handle conflict. Did the waitress get their order wrong? Is a coworker driving them crazy? How a person handles conflict says volumes about their personality.

3. Smiles. I am smart enough to know that just because someone has the ability to form a smile on their face does not mean they are happy. However, I can tell a joyful person from their smile. I can spot a genuine smile from a forced one a mile away. How often someone laughs, smiles and exhibits "joy" tells me a lot about them.

By Belinda Joy on 10/29/2009 8:32 am

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I’m definitely drawn to eyes and voice. When someone has a pleasant voice, well-projected, and uses language well, I am immediately drawn to them. And if I visit someone’s home for the first time, I check out what’s on their bookshelves! A well-packed shelf of intruguing titles tells me a lot about a person.

I’m in agreement with Liz on the way people treat cabbies, waitstaff, sales staff and so on. If someone treats me one way and is rude or abrupt with others, then a little alarm bell goes off. Being courteous and respectful is a MUST for me.

But the main element I crave is a sense of humor. I just find it SO hard to be around those people who take themselves and their lives seriously and display absolutely no sense of the ridiculous. For many years, I’ve had the biggest crush on Steve Martin (whom I have never met - alas) because he strikes me as a man who meets every one of my qualifications: gorgeous eyes; a great speaking voice; a sense of love and respect for language and books; a gentlemanly manner - and a sense of humor that never fails to crack me up. So, if anyone out there knows Mr. Martin, you know where to send him!

And as for Oprah’s suggestion to cut back on tipping waitstaff - please don’t do it! How about cutting back on the number of times we eat out, and using a little of the saved money to add a bit extra to a tip for someone who has given great service when we DO splurge on dinner out? Most waitstaff are lucky to make minimum wage, and depend on tips to make ends meet. And believe me, as a failed waitress (one attempt when I was in high school was enough to show me I couldn’t cut it) this is NOT an easy job. I was disappointed in Oprah for making this suggestion.

By Susan Crawford on 10/29/2009 8:35 am

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Servers have to declare thier tips. When my daughter declares her tips against the 2.75 an hour of pay, her paychecks have been zero for years. The paycheck is taken in taxes against the tips. There isn’t a paycheck for income being a server, only the tips. To suggest that tips be reduced when the paycheck is already zero really showed a moment of ingnorance on Oprah’s part in not understanding the ratios. The only thing she acomplished is rather than a server working and carrying trays 8 hours a day, now they are doing it for 10 hours a day.

By Linda Myers on 10/29/2009 8:48 am

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Great point, Linda. A good server can really enhance an evening out at a nice restaurant, or even brighten up a quick bite at a burger joint. Same applies to a sales associate, a cabbie or anyone else who helps or serves us in any way. When there is a chance to offer a gratuity for service well-performed, give generously. We don’t get a chance to tip most sales associates, but taking a minute to write a note to the department manager, or directly to the sales person is a way of showing appreciation. Mentioning excellent service from a waitstaff person to the maitre’d or the restaurant owner is also a great idea. Even though the pace of life is frantic, and we’re all counting our pennies a bit more carefully, we have to remember what really counts, and for many in the restaurant and food industries, tips ARE income. Thanks again for the insight, Linda.

By Susan Crawford on 10/29/2009 10:33 am

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I work part-time at night in retail and for myself, the customers come first. If one chooses to stand there and tell me their life story or what is on thier mind, I listen regardless of the time it takes. I can play catch up later. And many of them have been the individuals who write the letters and make the phone calls to management letting them know you took time just for them. My daughter does not shift jobs very often, but when she does her regulars follow her to the next place, which helps her establish herself in the new job. She had one for quite a few years who writes reviews for the New York papers, but keeps a home based mansion in this area. Knowing that my grandson has always loved film, he would bring tickets, etc. to local productions to her for Austin. He knew these were items she probably would not be able to obtain on her own, but just a thank you and respect for the time she gave him also. I think that is a premise at the core of many peoples desires, is just time spent and respected listening without judging who they are. In any service field, you have to desire to listen, people know the difference. Just my thoughts.

By Linda Myers on 10/29/2009 11:38 am