Question of the Day | 10/29/2009 4:00 am
Driving skills? Handwriting? What do you find is the strongest indicator of someone's personality?
Sheila Nevins, Candice Bergen, Mary Wells, Joan Ganz Cooney and Liz Smith share other telltale signs of a person’s character …

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In this country, we don’t have a servant class; we have people we hire to do the dirty work that we don’t want to do, who enable us to do what we want to do. I agree that a clue to a person’s character is how they treat those they consider inferior, such as helpers, "servants," or waitstaff, vendors, doormen, delivery people, maids. Here we make a big fuss about our virtuous belief in equality, but it is not evident in the way that workers are treated. For me, that is an important clue to character.
I am in favor of adding a charge for service (gratuity charge), as they do in Europe; waitstaff employees are not well paid, and there is great discomfort about the subject of tipping; however, if it is understood that a charge will be automatically added for service, we’d all be relieved of that "petty" decision, but to the waiter/waitress it is not a petty decision, it is part of necessary income.
When I am introduced or meet someone new, I observe closely, listen closely, and when I notice that body language, lack of eye contact, tone of voice do not correspond with the persona that is presented at first glance, I look even more closely for clues to character. I am not easily swayed by charm, and if my instinct warns me to be cautious in believing what I hear, I pay close attention to see whether the person is trustworthy or even likable, somewhat authentic, and curious about others—most people, I find, are interested more in themselves than in others, because they send a message that they are the most interesting person in the room, so when that is apparent, I "tread with caution."
As for handwriting, it may reveal one’s education, hand coordination, or lack of training to write clearly. I am lefthanded, not ambidextrous, and as a child was forced to change, but I didn’t, and my handwriting reveals all that conflict. Though the school system insisted on our using Spencerian script, which I mastered, as soon as I reached junior high school, I began to write in the manner most comfortable for a lefthanded person, for writing from left to right in English is difficult for us. So, if you look at my handwriting you learn somethng about my awkwardness in adapting to a righthanded world. My character is revealed in that I persisted in being myself, not an unreasonable facsimile of a righthanded person. So, like others, I am grateful for computers & typewriters.
And, my handwriting reveals that I fractured my hand and wrist, so my coordination is affected, but I usually warn others that reading what I write is difficult, but I am not grim about it; my character is not involved with this skill, and I can communicate better than most when I write (using a typewriter/computer/word processor).
When the police look at handwriting nowadays, they do not look for signs of character, they search for similarities in evidence. Graphologists may be able to reveal patterns, coordination in writing, but the loops and steadiness of the "line" indicate how a person learned to write, not character.
After misfortune of dating an aspiring politician, I have learned there is more indications of cracks in a person’s personality than simply one indicator.
His handwriting was beautiful - perfectly tailored and restrained. He was actually terrified of driving, so I couldn’t know any indications on that. He held open doors, tipped lavishly, and played ‘the game’ but was lying every chance he could to secure his own game. The nuances which indicated there was something wrong came down to the fact he had long-winded stories for everything, he couldn’t stand still and used a lot of hand movements, and would not let others finish their sentences. Sadly, these indicators were very subtle and difficult to pinpoint.
My own handwriting wouldn’t be analysable. I am not certian if it is because I am an artist, but the elements of my writing changes daily. Items I wrote a year ago appear to have been written by a totally different person.
NY,
Your description of your former politico bf reminds me of a line from My Fair Lady: "Oozing charm from every poor, he oiled his way across the floor."
Harrison, is your name? ; D
Yes, Lee, that’s funny. Like the proverbial snake-oil salesman! You know, I read a book by Gail Sheehy a biography about her adopted daughter Phat Mohm called: Spirit of Survival. This was a child who had escaped from Cambodia’s Khmer Rouge regime and if anyone wants to be thunderstruck by the power of a child having to make split second decisions on whether to trust someone or not…read this harrowing, courageous tale.
biggest indicator to me is how they speak of others when the subject of the conversation is not present
Agree 1000%!
It’s not just about fame or beauty, but there are certain people who turn heads, no matter where they are. They ooze self confidence. It’s in their walk, in that little half smile , and in the way they take in everything and everyone in one full sweep when they enter a room. If he/she is in the company of others, the individualism is attractive and distracting. This person’s presence usually changes the climate ( for better or worse) and with no effort whatsoever; all the world is a stage.

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