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Question of the Day | 10/29/2009 4:00 am

Driving skills? Handwriting? What do you find is the strongest indicator of someone's personality?

Sheila Nevins, Candice Bergen, Mary Wells, Joan Ganz Cooney and Liz Smith share other telltale signs of a person’s character …

© Shutterstock
Liz Smith

Liz Smith | 10/29/2009 12:00 am

Tip Big Around Liz Smith

How people treat waiters, cab drivers and others who are in service positions. Lack of common courtesy is a big tip off to me.
Joan Ganz Cooney

Joan Ganz Cooney | 10/29/2009 12:00 am

Joan Ganz Cooney: The Mind of a Mad Driver

I don’t think a single trait like aggressive driving really tells you much about someone’s personality. My brother-in-law is the single sweetest, least aggressive person on the planet but used to drive (he no longer is able to) pretty aggressively. I always figured that was a situation in which he could express his inner man, but it was hardly the key to his personality. One of the most fascinating, interesting and pleasant people I know does not treat, let us say, the servant class very well. Of course this means he has some anger in him but it is hardly the key to his personality. I believe most of our personalities are a mix of traits and I am continually surprised, often in a good way, by people I thought I had figured out.
Candice Bergen

Candice Bergen | 10/29/2009 12:00 am

Candice Bergen: Shoes Make the Man

Handwriting doesn’t always work as two of the best and most intelligent people I know have the cursive of a cripple. My husband, however, has beautiful, graceful, sensual handwriting. It shows a level of education, the REGION in which a person is raised, intelligence and a certain intellectual organization. Or lack of. Shoes for me speak volumes. Especially about men. And I would never even consider a man who wore certain species of shoes. Thank God, my husband walked into my apartment in an elegant pair of loafers.

Sheila Nevins

Sheila Nevins | 10/29/2009 12:00 am

How Sheila Nevins Reads People

Four things:

 

1. When they say I look younger than I am.
2. When they say I look thin.
3. When they remember my birthday.
4. When they buy me an expensive gift.
Mary Wells

Mary Wells | 10/29/2009 12:00 am

Mary Wells: Discovering Someone's True Personality

Handwriting can be altered or trained. The way people react to problems that hit them gives you a picture of what to expect.

59 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

Nancy Pea
you truly have a daughter you can be proud of. it comes from having a great mother who instilled her beliefs of right and wrong into her daughter. my daughter and son have also followed that same logic. it’s nice to see that in ppl and we are both truly blessed!
By Nancy Pea on 10/30/2009 3:52 am
SURA B

In this country, we don’t have a servant class; we have people we hire to do the dirty work that we don’t want to do, who enable us to do what we want to do. I agree that a clue to a person’s character is how they treat those they consider inferior, such as helpers, "servants," or  waitstaff, vendors, doormen, delivery people, maids. Here we make a big fuss about our virtuous belief in equality, but it is not evident in the way that workers are treated. For me, that is an important clue to character.

I am in favor of adding a charge for service (gratuity charge), as they do in Europe; waitstaff employees are not well paid, and there is great discomfort about the subject of tipping; however, if it is understood that a charge will be automatically added for service, we’d all be relieved of that "petty" decision, but to the waiter/waitress it is not a petty decision, it is part of necessary income. 

When I am introduced or meet someone new, I observe closely, listen closely, and when I notice that body language, lack of eye contact, tone of voice do not correspond with the persona that is presented at first glance, I look even more closely for clues to character. I am not easily swayed by charm, and if my instinct warns me to be cautious in believing what I hear, I pay close attention to see whether the person is trustworthy or even likable, somewhat authentic, and curious about others—most people, I find, are interested more in themselves than in others, because they send a message that they are the most interesting person in the room, so when that is apparent, I "tread with caution."

As for handwriting, it may reveal one’s education, hand coordination, or lack of training to write clearly. I am lefthanded, not ambidextrous, and as a child was forced to change, but I didn’t, and my handwriting reveals all that conflict. Though the school system insisted on our using Spencerian script, which I mastered, as soon as I reached junior high school, I began to write in the manner most comfortable for a lefthanded person, for writing from left to right in English is difficult for us. So, if you look at my handwriting you learn somethng about my awkwardness in adapting to a righthanded world. My character is revealed  in that I persisted in being myself, not an unreasonable facsimile of a righthanded person. So, like others, I am grateful for computers & typewriters.

And, my handwriting reveals that I  fractured my hand and wrist, so my coordination is affected, but I usually warn others that reading what I write is difficult, but I am not grim about it; my character is not involved with this skill, and I can communicate better than most when I write (using a typewriter/computer/word processor).

 When the police look at handwriting nowadays, they do not look for signs of character, they search for similarities in evidence. Graphologists may be able to reveal patterns, coordination in writing, but the loops and steadiness of the "line" indicate how a person learned to write, not character. 

 

By SURA B on 10/29/2009 8:49 am
Chris Glass`
After factoring in cultural differences I would go for the way a person treats service people. In many countries the gratuity is added to the bill. Visitors and new immigrants may not realize that tipping is customary. In some countries looking directly at people can be taken as a challenge to authority. This country is an ever increasing melting pot of people raised in ways not familiar to us. It is the ability to recognize that we are all in this human gene pool together and we should treat others the way we want to be treated.
By Chris Glass` on 10/29/2009 8:54 am
Eileen Alannah
I always thought it interesting when I read somewhere that you can tell an awful lot about a person by what they name their *pets.* ; ) It is great fun to think about this when you are introduced to someone : D and I have found sometimes it to be an uncanny indicator of a part of their personality.  Of course, it can also be a random name or a name that someone else gave the pet, etc. so it is simply, just something that you would consider in a very offhanded manner.  I think how you treat other people is, yes, a really good indicator and also if you listen closely enough to what people *say* their "words" will give you a ton of clues as to who they really are. Nothing is ever set in stone, though. People are extremely complex individuals which makes them utterly and endlessly fascinating.
By Eileen Alannah on 10/29/2009 9:12 am
Linda Myers
I rescued a retriever mix a couple of years ago, the shelter named him Popcorn because of freckles on his nose. I tried calling him by that name and he wouldn’t respond. I asked for a name that he would respond with and was given Comet. Called him by that name and he came running like a long lost friend. Comet did not seem like a fit, but the name was evidently at some point connected to him and love, so Comet he is! His name was like a key that unlocked his heart again.
By Linda Myers on 10/29/2009 9:48 am
New Yorker

After misfortune of dating an aspiring politician, I have learned there is more indications of cracks in a person’s personality than simply one indicator. 

His handwriting was beautiful - perfectly tailored and restrained.  He was actually terrified of driving, so I couldn’t know any indications on that.  He held open doors, tipped lavishly, and played ‘the game’ but was lying every chance he could to secure his own game.  The nuances which indicated there was something wrong came down to the fact he had long-winded stories for everything, he couldn’t stand still and used a lot of hand movements, and would not let others finish their sentences.  Sadly, these indicators were very subtle and difficult to pinpoint.

My own handwriting wouldn’t be analysable.  I am not certian if it is because I am an artist, but the elements of my writing changes daily.  Items I wrote a year ago appear to have been written by a totally different person. 

By New Yorker on 10/29/2009 9:17 am
Lee Harrison

NY,

Your description of your former politico bf reminds me of a line from My Fair Lady:  "Oozing charm from every poor, he oiled his way across the floor."

By Lee Harrison on 10/29/2009 9:26 am
Eileen Alannah

Harrison, is your name?  ; D

Yes, Lee, that’s funny. Like the proverbial snake-oil salesman! You know, I read a book by Gail Sheehy a biography about her adopted daughter Phat Mohm called: Spirit of Survival. This was a child who had escaped from Cambodia’s Khmer Rouge regime and if anyone wants to be thunderstruck by the power of a child having to make split second decisions on whether to trust someone or not…read this harrowing, courageous tale.

By Eileen Alannah on 10/29/2009 9:36 am
phyllis Doyle Pepe
Since people have many, many indicators relating to personality traits and since the question was what would be the strongest indicator, I would have to agree with those that mentioned how people treat those that are servicing them. I once went out to dinner with someone I thought I knew pretty well, but the way he related to the waitress––condescending, arrogant, rude–––I saw a part of him that confirmed something I had suspected from the get-go, but never could put my finger on. 
By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 10/29/2009 9:27 am
phyllis Doyle Pepe
IT’S CALLED–––RESPECT.
By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 10/29/2009 10:32 am
Deni G
Oh ditto!
By Deni G on 10/29/2009 6:08 pm
Susan B.
I agree with the service people and to some degree handwriting but the biggest indicator to me is how they speak of others when the subject of the conversation is not present.
By Susan B. on 10/29/2009 9:31 am
Linda Myers

biggest indicator to me is how they speak of others when the subject of the conversation is not present

Agree 1000%!

By Linda Myers on 10/29/2009 9:50 am
Chrome Toe
If i had to pick between the two i’d say driving over handwriting. Especially in this computer age. I used to have fairly decent handwriting. But i never "handwrite" anymore. it’s like i’ve forgotten how. Driving… I don’t think being an aggressive driver means you’re an aggressive person. I think it means you have a problem in some coping areas. which therefore goes along with Joan Cooney’s brother in law being sweet everywhere but on the road. It speaks more to how you handle frustration, decision making, that type of thing than to agression a lot of times. My 22 year old daughter is the flat out worst driver I’ve ever known in my life. True… she is. I’m not saying that because i’m her mom! The whole family talks about it as do her friends! She is very inattentive. And she’s like that in general. She always has thirty things on her mind and it really shows in the car!
By Chrome Toe on 10/29/2009 9:52 am
Maggie W

It’s not just about fame or beauty, but there are certain people who turn heads, no matter where they are.  They ooze self confidence.  It’s in their walk, in that little half smile , and in the way they take in everything and everyone in one full sweep when they enter a room.  If he/she is in the company of others, the individualism is attractive and distracting. This person’s presence usually changes the climate ( for better or worse) and with no effort whatsoever; all the world is a stage.

 

By Maggie W on 10/29/2009 10:11 am