My father was a "father" because my mother wanted to be a "mother".  A lot of role playing in our family in the 1950’s.  Consequently, he refused to celebrate father’s day.  Mother went through the "process" when we were kids, but when we (the children) arrived at adulthood, my father made it very clear that he didn’t want to celebrate.  He called it a "commercial holiday".  No gifts, no cards were sent to him from his children.  

Suzanne, Sorry you didn’t get to enjoy the fun of the "commercial holiday".  We always had a ball on Father’s Day.  it wasn’t the presents we bought (although we always bought him something), it was doing stuff for him.  My sibs and I would make him a special breakfast, we’d fawn over him all day offering to do things for him, we’d set a special place for him at dinner. 

That’s kind of how we celebrated any holiday or birthday.  It was all about making the honored person feel very special.  Buying gifts wasn’t the point.  The love and attention were and that’s what I remember the most.

My father was a clergyman.  He was "father" to everyone." My grandfather was also a clergyman. I suppose she gave the, "You will never be first in your husband’s life talk…" to my grandmother.  My grandmother gave that Talk immediately to my Mother. Regrettably, no one gave any of us children that Talk. I know that one of my Father’s sister parroted off this phrase to us regularly as he missed recitals, plays and other things important to children. There was no schedule in our house, anything could happen at any time. And every year I try to search for the "right" card that honestly expresses my feelings. There was alot of other types of mental and physical discipline. It was "his way or the highway."Though to his parishes, he always kept a devoted following due to his charisma. He can be very spiritual; he knows the reason for every liturgical movement by the priest, or theological reason for a sacrament.  But when the surgeon came out of the operating room to say I had cancer from ear to  ear (I was 27 and married, 2 yrs.), he and my mother left before I was told because he had a headache. Really, now what do you say in a Hallmark card to this Father? To his good side, I was exposed to all the  4 Arts and visited museums since I could walk. He showed us the beauty of nature through hiking and camping and I do thank him for those gifts that have also become my passions. But there was more, something much more insidious that I would not reveal on these pages.  You’ll have to wait for my book: (working title) Incense Survivor.

My dad is a quirky character! He doesn’t like sports, fishing, golf, or any of the other standard "guy" stuff. I buy him National Geographic and other travel books!What a funny fellow. He’s been a great pop though!