Bravo, Laura. It is abusive treatment by sociopaths who are attracted to the abused. I designed a program in which we provided foster homes for women and their children at any time they wanted shelter. The "foster families" were trained, their backgrounds, and insurance checked to qualify them to be a foster family or "couple." Within 8 weeks after putting out the call for the program to begin, we had over 200 families sign up!

We were referred to women, and their children who were found hiding in airports, restrooms at the bus terminals, under bridges, in phone booths being rammed by a mad-man’s vehicle as she called for help, and by all the hospitals because when women gave birth the brute at home often brought her belongings there and dumped them in the lobbies - refusing to take her back home with "a kid." We wanted them OUT, and were determined to create the best program possible.

We invited Dr. Burton White to come from Harvard and meet with our juvenile court judges (who insisted on giving custody of children to the abusing father when is spouse was hospitalized for his abuse!!!). The media helped us solve that one real quick! I was tossed out of commissioners court all the time for making demands on behalf of "those women," abused, and raped women - but, again, we won!

100% of the women had never lived in a mentally healthy home, period! It took them at least 3 months to understand couples’ normal interchanges, and arguments, without the abused woman fearing it would escalate to violence - so sad!

The children required a great deal of help, too - far too often we could detect early signs that they viewed the abuser as the most powerful in the family, and programs had to be developed by the psychological community to intercede (art therapy, et al), but first, ~ 83% required immediate medical intervention, as well - and the area hospitals stood by for our agency to provide immediate physicals to each woman and her children - required before we were willing to do more; health came first. We even had dentists who helped - glory be!!!

In essence, we were re-parenting the women, and that included providing family life, and child care courses for her, as well as GED, and job training programs (funded by - heaven forbid- the FEDS [OIS and USDOL]).  If the woman was pregnant, her ob care was also provided, as well as WIC classes, and family nutrition. (Needless to say, the job-training grants covered transportation; however, most families had neighbors, churches, etc. that helped a great deal with transportation - and we did check auto insurances, too.)

These things can be done - and they should. Violence exists everywhere in America. Merely forcing people to sit in hospital waiting rooms with sick people all around, for hours, is inhumane, and abusive. When a child dies in a mother’s arms in an ER waiting room, that is abuse.

When we deny food, shelter, and health care to those who need it, that is abuse.

When we do not speak up for others to protect or help them, that is abuse.

Each of us must think about what we do to one another, and have the courage to speak up, and speak out. Everyone in Wowowow can and must do that - its far more important that discussing trite questions about movie stars, make-up, Christians, and crafts.

I was a victim of child abuse and domestic abuse. I am so Thankful that I was able to get out of the relationships without permit physical damage. After my second divorce I was determined to never be hit by another man who claimed to love me. I have been single for 10 raising my 4 small children on my own. My heart bleeds for this woman because even though you are divorced that does not stop the abuser from still abusing the woman which is harder to handle. One day both of my ex’s decided to take me to court for custody of my children, knowing that I did not have the financial resourse to fight them and they won. So bottom line is the abuse does contintue in the same and differnt forms after divorce. I understand why woman go underground with their children and sometimes wish that I did. I will tell you this at the end of the story I did find victory and yes my children were damaged in some way but as far as I can tell recovered from their scares. Even after all this time I can tell you I never realized how I entered and remained in those relationships until reading this letter. I hope your reader will give you permission to put this in your newspaper because she will give a voice to educate not only people with no understanding of how this can happen to beautiful smart woman but she can also help those woman like myself who wonder how did I do that not only once but twice! Now I know and with that knowledge comes healing, Thank YOU!