Have I ever relocated for a significant other? That’s how I ended up in NYC over 25 years ago. That particular significant other is long gone by mutual agreement. He was an actor, and there was just too much drama.

After him, I was blessed to find a man I love more than anyone I’ve ever loved before, and to be loved in return. Would I relocate again? In a flash. I would love to live, with him, in someplace smaller and less hectic.  (My real friends are spread out all over the country anyway, and we have kept in touch, and will stay in touch, for a lifetime.)  Being truly happy trumps staying in a place that has lost its luster.

Sometimes we just need a small step up to make the difference in relocation:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jByfWOLmjo.

Thankfully for my hubands job we I only had to relocate 1 hour away from where I lived and worked.  He moved from WV to VA so he did the major relocating for his job.  Now would we move from VA to WV, only if we both lost our jobs here in VA. 

In 1970 I was a newly wed and my artist husband said:"lets move to Spain, I can paint everywhere". I was still in a very European/ 1950’s mode and obliged my husband’s whim without thinking much about it.

Five years later we returned to a different country.

My Belgian mother thought that Europe ended at the French border but she learned that Southern Spain was a little paradise. 

It was the greatest experience for the girls who became international human beings. 

Would I do it again? Now I would have to google all options, check all statistics, count the money 10 times over, want a guarantee etc….

Then I said: Yes, dear.

I could not even pronounce Malaga correctly.

Greatest adventure.

Two moves: both ended up enriching my life.

1.  Japan: married, had a daughter, learned another foreign language….. got beat up, left the husband and country, took the daughter with me and moved home to the US.  My father’s business partner told me that I need to write a book about the whole thing… maybe I will when she is older.  Totally changed my perspective on the United States as well: if we are going to survive in a global economy, we need to understand other cultures and not live in our ethnocentristic bubble.

2.  My current state:  Moved for a significant other, broke up a year later (just didn’t work out).  Stayed here even after my family offered to move me "home".  We’ve been here for 11 years this July and have never wanted to move back south.

Would I do it again?  Not until my daughter is done with school and ready to move on herself.  I won’t even move from this country at this point.  But after that who knows!  I’d love Europe again.. that would be way fun.

The day after my wedding, I was on a plane to Chicago. I looked out the window and cried, turning in my seat so that my spouse of twelve hours couldn’t see. I was an Associate Editor at Working Woman Magazine; he was taking a new job. I was on a quick path, ascending the editorial ladder ahead of schedule and liking it. But he was offered a position that would pay more. In the name of the greater good, and who named it that, anyway, I agreed.

After three years, we moved back to New York. In another three years, we moved to Philadelphia. After fourteen months, and at seven months pregnant, we moved to Boston. It is difficult finding an obstetrician with just two months left. Then, two and a half years later, we came to Dallas. With each move, he had lost a job, then found a new one, only to lose it again. By the time I printed stationery, we were gone. I decided to freelance.

Once in Dallas, we divorced. And, as irony would have it, this is the job he kept, which keeps me here, too, given the Family Court rules about residency and children.

So, to answer what seems like an innocuous question….NO!! DON’T DO IT!!  Certain decisions can have consequences that will affect you more than you know. I should not have agreed. Many women I know would not have agreed. As a result, I have lived for ten years in a place that is not home, as a single mom, without the support of family or close friends. I cheerlead myself. Sometimes it works. What my decisions have taught me, ultimately, is toughness and fortitude. Strength is not lost on my two young daughters, either, and I am happy they’ve had the chance to learn it early. 

Pamela Gwyn Kripke, http://likeasinglemom.wordpress.com