We’re always negotiating.  When we buy a car or home or even book air fare, we are negotiating.  I recently remodeled an older ( 1940’s ) home.  I was wheeling and dealing every day with painters, landscapers, cabinet makers, etc.   With each , we agreed on a deadline for completion.  For each working day past the completion date, the agreed upon original fee dropped.  Everything in writing. 

I don’t dread it. It’s a part of life, and I always come away having learned something new about another person and his/her trade or business. It helps better prepare me for the next adventure.

I learned to speak up early in adulthood because I was tired of people walking on me. At first my husband hated it because it made me look pushy. It started when I bought two new tires. They felt funny when I started to drive off and I said so. The mechanic brushed me off. Two miles down the road another driver yelled at me to pull over because my wheels were wobbly. I did and he promptly tightened the lug nuts. I returned to the tire center and demanded to see the manager who denied that they had even sold me tires that day. He wanted my receipt. I refused and went home called around to find out where the company headquarters were and wrote to them with a copy of my tire receipt.

My husband’s career moved us throughout the Southeast so I negotiated for our houses and cars. I comparison shopped to know what homes should cost in a given area not to be railroaded into a particular neighborhood or house. I studied consumer and car magazines to learn what the different makes and models should cost so that I could speak reasonably to a sales person.

Learning to speak up gave me a voice in all areas of our life. I think that negotiating is a skill that ought to be taught in school. There is no shame in speaking up for rights that ought to be yours. You don’t have to be nasty or aggressive just reasonable and firm.

While I have never run into a situation where full scale nogotiations for a job or a book or my livelihood was on the line, from years of observing I have found it best to pick and choose your fights, not jumping in on every question which seems to diminish your impact in group situations, i.e. a board.  You know: "HER again".  But in large projects, I have done such extensive research ahead of time - and they know it - that I come in well prepared with what I believe should be an intregral part of it and the ability to voice my case in such a way that it would be hard to dispute.  I will not argue, but so strongly stand up for what I believe in that I am able to put it through every time.  I work on boards, so at times it is important to have a majority vote behind you.  If I must, I work behind the scenes talking enough borderline votes (usually because they have not worked as hard, not researched the background needed to make a decision of merit, and walked them through.)  Again, it is picking and choosing your battles but beating our the naysayers with the absolute knowledge that would be hard to refute. 

Negotiating salaries another story - - I think I could but after listening here, probably would collapse like the others who are far more experienced in that part of the field.  I would like to sit in on it though — and learn those ins and outs.  It fascinates me and I crave to learn more and better myself. 

I’d never one time in my life thought about this question lol. But now that i have… I think i’m a good negotiator. Very good in some circumstances. But to clarify… I’m not a good "diplomat". i think those are two totally different things. As to negotiating however, I go into it knowing exactly where my boundaries are. the high end and teh low end. The key is being willing to walk away. I’ve found over the years that if you’re willing to walk away from a deal you have a lot of power. So here’s the thing.. if it’s something i’m not willing to walk away from i dont’ really negotiate.

Things like cars and houses. I have a strategy. If i love it and want it I make it abundantly clear right out of the gate how much i love it and want it. I rave about it. That gets the person selling it salivating and sure they have a deal. Then I leave lol. And i make them chase me. And i tell them every time they call with a new price that I just LOVE IT and REALLY REALLY want it BUT…. it’s worked like a charm over the years. And it’s worked partly because i always think if i lose this one there’s anotehr one down the road.

Another strategy I use (excellent when dealing with high pressure stuff) is "i’ve got limited time and i’m leaving when my time is up and i don’t care where you are in your little pitch". But then the other key to good negotiating is not caring about being "nice" or "polite". at least not when dealign with high pressure folks. They count on that. a persons need to have manners. screw that. i wont’ be held hostage by someone elses sales pitch… EVER.

I’ve only ever worked in one industry where i had to negotiate salary. And i simply let the company chase me. I kept giving them all the signs I wanted to commit without commiting and they kept raising the bar until i did commit. My cousin who’d been in the industry for 15 years was shocked at the deal I cut for myself. So i guess i did goood. : )

As a Realtor, that is what I do.  We are negotiators during the complete transaction of the selling process.  One rule:  never let your emotions get involved with what you brain is telling you…

I negotiated a hefty pay raise with a company I worked for once. I was in an Administrative Assistant position but I thrived on doing more, learning more about the company and it showed. A situation arose where I really stepped up and impressed a group of our clients and I used this as a bargaining chip and it resulted in my salary being increased almost $12,000 far more than the other AA’s and even professionals in the company.

Initially it caused a lot of drama in the office among the other AA’s but over time I proved myself to be valuable over and over again with our clients which resulted in new clients and more money for the company.

My #1 rule for negotiations is never allow emotions to enter your thought process or what you are saying. Stick to the facts of the matter and your objectives. Speak assertively and with composure.

When it comes to negotiations, it’s not about being liked it’s about being heard.

I am only good at it to a point, then I lose interest even in what I am bargaining "for.’ : ) When I went to Cabo San Lucas years ago everything that was sold on the street they expected you to bargain. I hated it but you know when in Rome, you had to learn, so then it became fun. However, I didn’t want anything that badly to go past a certain point with the haggling back and forth because then I would feel ridiculous, sorry for the both of us doing it & much like I had this bad part in a "play."  ; D