I guess the sentiment of the day is "Like pornography…I know it when I see it" :-)

I’ve always loved that expression but in my opinion none of us can spot authenticity in others. Because like happiness, it is subjective. What makes me truly happy may not make you happy. So what does the definition of happiness mean? The same rings true for authenticity. Can anyone really look at me and say I am not being authentic? If you don’t know my life, aspirations, beliefs and expectations for myself, you can’t.

However with this said I label many people in my life as authentic or not authentic. That is a term that is too easily used to define those around us who we consider to be in control of their lives. "She is certainly living an authentic life" when all along she may be filled with insecurities, self doubt and loathing. One never knows….

 I would say that I’ve been pretty darn authentic most of my life. Even as a younger person. For whatever reason, it is just not in my DNA to pretend. Not beyond the basic social graces anyway. And even then… not always. I’ve walked out of many social events that I was miserable at.

 When I was about 28 years old my best friend and I were at some sort of party and the discussion was about having affairs. She said to the small group we were with that I "wasn’t subtle enough" to have an affair. And she was right. When I want something you know it. When i don’t you know it. If i’m unhappy I leave. Therefore no affair. I’m not afraid to discuss my politics or religious beliefs or personal history. One of my firmest beliefs is that if you don’t like me for me then I don’t give a sh—. It’s a big world out there. And being authentic has meant that I am surrounded by people who love ME. not some semblance of me. But the real person with my flaws and my strengths.

In all, being authentic has meant that my life is good. and it’s the life I want not one that i’ve settled for.

Authenticity to me is being true to yourself, whatever that may be.  No airs, no pretense, & no false-faces for others, just doing right by your own spirit.

I know as a child, I was incredibly "authentic", I was gregarious & happy-go-lucky - I never knew a stranger and enjoyed the company of all, young or old.  Once puberty hit, so did the demons of self-consciousness, shyness, embarrassment, and simply wanting to belong.  It took quite a few years to kick those demons behind me, but I don’t know that I’ll ever lose them completely.  They’re always there, peeking over my shoulder, waiting for the opportunity to jump in and have their fun at my expense. 

The change didn’t come at any particular age, but I know who I am today - and I abhor hypocrisy - so I stay pretty much on course now.  

Ok now, full disclosure: I’m as "authentic" now as I’ve ever been, but I do know there are times when I still enable my demons.  For instance, my family (parents, siblings, etc.) have very different beliefs on religion than I do, yet I won’t come clean about them.  I don’t lie to them about it, but I make a point of steering clear of the subject when I’m in their presence to avoid the conflict. Is this being untrue to myself?  Probably even more so than when I was young - now, I know who I am, back then, I was still learning.  

"Authenticity" has everything to do with honesty, imho.  Authentic people don’t claim to be something they are not, or exaggerate their accomoplishments.  Their behavior is consistent with the stories they tell, to themselves and to others, about what makes up their life.

It doesn’t always come from positivity.  I’ve known miserable people who will be the first ones to tell you they’re authentically miserable.  I’ve been there myself, at times.  In terms of human personality, the opposite of authenticity would be pretension or (even worse) hypocrisy.

When I was thirty-six, studying psychology, there was a definition of personal authenticity which looked at the disparity between an individual’s public and private behavior.  I realized there was a big difference between the woman who showed up to work every day, and the woman who walked in the front door of my house every evening.  And so a good deal of reflection and adjustment was in order. 

Ever since, I’ve used that measurement to help me develop my own sense of personal authenticity.  I think it’s an important quest, and has contributed quite a bit to my personal and social interactions.  Not to mention a growing sense of confidence in what I’ve come to know as my personal identity.

But I’ll be the first to admit, it’s been, and continues to be, an ongoing process for me