Question of the Day | 10/02/2009 2:00 am

What was/is your biggest dream for yourself?

Join Joan Ganz Cooney, Liz Smith and Candice Bergen in the conversation and tell us the hopes you’ve harbored throughout your life.

Joan Ganz Cooney | 10/02/2009 1:00 am

Joan Ganz Cooney Thanks the Gods of Television

When I was about eight I told my mother and one of her friends that when I grew up I wanted to be a nun, an opera singer or a mother. My mother’s friend said, "You can’t be a nun and a mother," to which I answered, "Well, I could have a bastard." I had once seen the word and asked my mother what it meant and she said it’s the child of an unmarried mother so my response to my mother’s friend was, in my opinion, pretty smart.

I couldn’t carry a tune so I had to give up the opera singer dream and becoming a nun lost its appeal fairly early in my life and biological motherhood was not to be (although five stepchildren came along in my middle age). I thank whatever gods there be for television, which gave me something new (in the 1950s) to dream about.

6 Comments

Candice Bergen | 10/02/2009 12:00 am

Candice Bergen on the Dreams That Came True

At 63, the statute of limitations on dreams may have run out. But when I was younger, I dreamed of having a real chance to do comedy, never thinking I’d get it. Then a couple of films and then "Murphy" for ten years came along and I was in heaven. About the same time, my daughter, Chloe, was born, and she has transcended any dream status. My first marriage was a dream. I was in a dreamlike state for years. Then Chloe’s arrival was a Divine Event. My second marriage was a miracle. Now, not to be greedy, but I dream of all of us (but mostly me) living long, productive, lucid lives to be around family and people I love.

13 Comments

Liz Smith | 10/02/2009 12:00 am

Liz Smith's Biggest Dream

My biggest dream for myself was to be onstage in New York, singing, dancing and seeing my name up in lights. And meeting famous and glamorous people. Even though early on I became convinced that I didn’t have the talent for it, I still managed to see my name in lights, to hobnob with only the best riffraff and eventually I found myself singing, as an amateur and for charity, onstage at Carnegie Hall, Town Hall, the Shubert theaters and the Metropolitan Opera stage.

6 Comments

Read more about: Career, Dreams, Family, Hopes, Spirituality

51 Reader Comments (so far…) Sign In or Register to comment

For me it was to not be a traditional wife and mother. I never wanted to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. Now I have a nice house with nice things. I make good money. But I could lose my job by the end of the day. I don’t have companionship of a husband and kids to fall back on. I don’t regret the decisions I have made just don’t know how to go on from here.

By Tia Lemon on 10/02/2009 7:08 am

e-mail alert

Hello Tia, in any life there are crossroads, whether you are a mother or a wife. It is a great thing to find a passion. Just recently I have been watching director Ken Burns’ PBS’s special on the national parks and the history of all of that is so utterly fascinating. I am on a quest now to read John Muir’s writings! Such spectacular lives some of these people have lived but all our lives are fascinating just to be here - alive. It is great to know there are always new things we can learn and sometimes it just takes us being interested again in something new to find different paths and different people and let life enfold as it will do anyway, naturally. Best of luck to you!

By Eileen Alannah on 10/02/2009 7:40 am

e-mail alert

To both of you, don’t miss reading Hidden Cities by the Kennedy, the former head of the National Park Service. Why Burns did not include our incredible digs in this special has to be nothing short of political! Our nation has digs far older than those in ancient ciites we pay $kkkkk to travel to, and ours are right her in America, some simple a few miles apart. I’ve visited 3 of them since meeting Mr. Kennedy, and reading his book (and given 19 copies to others, too!).

IOW, life changes - thank goodness, it does not stay the same!

By Signing On on 10/03/2009 10:44 am

e-mail alert

My dream was to be a great writer, barring that, a great anything :) If I could do anything as well as Richard Russo writes, that would be fulfilled. But alas, I content myself, at times, after all no one comes to the pity party, with the mother’s panacea — we have four healthy, beautiful children and ten — count ‘em ten (an expensive holiday season especially if you’re insecure) wonderful grandchildren.

By Andy C on 10/02/2009 7:19 am

e-mail alert

My dreams have changed over the years. As one dream came true another dream took its place. My dream now is to be alive and well to watch my grandchildren grow up to be good, solid citizens with attainable dreams of their own. My grandchildren mean the world to me and if I can be instrumental in helping them attain their dreams as I have my own children then I’ll place my dream fairy very softly into a bottom drawer.

By deber B on 10/02/2009 7:43 am

e-mail alert

love what deb above me said. "my dreams have changed over the years"…now my dream is to be "alive and well" and to win the lottery…….

By caren gittleman on 10/02/2009 8:14 am

e-mail alert

My dream has always been to be that person in the photograph. For me, the finest way to awaken each day is hearing the sound of the ocean and walking the beach with gulls tagging along. I have no complaints. I have enjoyed many hours on the beach and on the water and will continue to do so.

By Maggie W on 10/02/2009 9:01 am

e-mail alert

I was just telling someone the other day (they couldn’t believe it) that when I was a teenager my big dream was to be the girlfriend of a wealthy drug dealer. There are kids growing up in neighborhoods all over the country who dream of being the big dealer in their neighborhood. well i was a girl… so mine was to be his girlfriend. It was sort of like catching the brass ring in those days.

Then I got cleaned up, went to college and went to work as a probation officer. Then my "dream" was to change lives. And I suppose… that’s always kind of been my big dream. To change lives. one at a time or en masse. there was a time when i thought i wanted to be a politician. then got an opportunity and didn’t like what I saw.

Since I grew up and out of the desire to be a drug dealers girlfriend I’d say that no matter where I was/am I always have the desire to make a difference somehow. I suppose I still have the "dream" to do it in a bigger way than i’ve done it before. I keep my eyes open for those opportunities and i have thought lately about starting my own charitable organizaton.

By Chrome Toe on 10/02/2009 9:21 am

e-mail alert

I wanted to be an actress very badly but the year I entered high school they shut down the drama department for all four years. I was also very shy so I did not pursue it and yet I did *try* various ways to be involved with theatre all throughout my life. Some more comical than others. ; ) What I found out in my 20’s was that I was too terrified to even be backstage moving props around with the curtain down during a performance! : ) Then I got married and had a daughter but just before she was born I took a Saturday class at The American Academy of Dramatic Arts. They told me there that my sensitivity was a "gift" not something I needed to be rid of as I had always been told. That made me very happy. When I was in my 40’s after a cancer diagnosis and treatment, I up and went to a local theatre group and auditioned for their production of: "My Fair Lady." I only wanted to be in the chorus but they asked me to read for a small part and I got that, too! I had never been in a play in my entire life and what was really great was that once I had set my course I did not back down. The night of the dress rehearsal they turned on the spotlights and I froze momentarily, like a deer in headlights, but I did not care, I was resolved, sink or swim to do this thing. And, I did it pretty well, too, if I may say so myself, the leading lady told me for a bit player I really stood out from the crowd and the director told me I was a "natural." I was thrilled beyond belief but mainly that I had confronted my fear. I also had a small part in a movie after that and like Liz Smith has commented about movie-making, it was really somewhat boring, sitting/standing around while they film can be very tedious. So, I guess all that’s left is Broadway, right? : ) But I will have to move fast because time is short and life has a way of flying by.

By Eileen Alannah on 10/02/2009 9:44 am

e-mail alert

When I was young, the world was, for me, a vast panoply of opportunity, of excitement and discovery. I was breathless with running with it all. Enduring numerous twists and turns I managed to do many of the things I had envisioned for myself. I am now in the autumn of my life and any dreams I have now are for this world. That we, as human beings, become more human, more responsible, more equitable, more loving and better educated. Amen.

By phyllis Doyle Pepe on 10/02/2009 9:45 am

e-mail alert

When I was just a little girl, I asked my mommy what will I be? I always wanted to be a dancer. I took ballet lessons for a month, but it was too much of a hassle for my parents to pick me up. I wanted to be a Chef, but never had the opportunity to go to culinary school. When I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease, most of the dreams died, it was now just survival. So I’m still alive, this disease almost killed me last year, but I’m a fighter! I’m a mother and enjoy taking care of others and crocheting… oh my God I’m my Grandmother!

By Sherry Dale on 10/02/2009 9:47 am

e-mail alert

Boy is that a loaded question. Because my dreams for myself have changed dramatically. Last year when I had my near death experience, I began to look at life differently. All of the things I thought I wanted and needed in my life to be happy changed.There is something about the realization that you may not be around anymore that puts your life in perspective.

If you had asked me this question before November 4, 2008 I would have given you a list of things from the perfect guy, perfect body to the perfect job. Now, as others on this thread have listed, what is important to me is my health. I just want to be healthy so I can live a full and long life. My dream is to live life to the fullest. Say all I believe and feel needs to be said to everyone in my life and to leave a broad footprint. I want to know I made a difference and that my life wasn’t simply "getting by"until I died.

By Belinda Joy on 10/02/2009 10:00 am

e-mail alert

Belinda Joy, you are one very interesting lady. All of your postings are so significant. Obviously whatever happened November 4, 2008 affected you dramatically. I don’t see any reference in your posting to-day about your literary ambitions. I know from reading your past messages that you have already delved into the world of books and authorship. Surely the November incident has not extinguished that noble ambition which I feel you would excel at because your writing abilities are always so brilliantly evident. Continue to give priority to attending to your health needs and I am betting you will “live a full and long life”, and I expect that someday you will reward me with a personal autograph for one of your novels which I will have purchased. You’re a natural. Stick with it. LR.

By Lauriate Roly on 10/02/2009 12:18 pm

e-mail alert

What a beautiful and heartfelt message Lauriate, thank you. Everybody without exception wants to be understood. Some more than others. In the blog world being misunderstood can lead to a long day or night of what are ultimately unnecessary exchanges.

So the fact that you understand where I am coming from brings a smile to my face. And yes, I am still pursuing my writing so we’ll see what comes of it. I know we haven’t always agreed, but at the very least you "get me" and for that I thank you. Have a great weekend!

By Belinda Joy on 10/02/2009 1:53 pm

e-mail alert

Thank you Belinda Joy for your reply, but I’m a little baffled. I can’t recall, (or even imagine), that we ever disagreed on anything. I have always found your postings to be so thoughtful and intelligent and always completely on topic. As a matter of fact, I consider them a reliable bench-mark to follow and correctly grasp the nucleus of the subject being discussed. Are you sure you meant me Belinda? Now, if I’m mistaken, I apologize and unconditionally accept your judgment. I refuse to disagree with you. I also wish you a pleasant and enjoyable weekend.

By Lauriate Roly on 10/02/2009 2:46 pm