Unfortunately, there are no easy suggestions especially with a 7 year old.  I’m glad that you are reconsidering the relaxer because it does burn.  Also, depending on the length and the texture of your daughter’s hair, the relaxer may not completely straighten your daughter’s hair the FIRST time. 

You may consider having your daughter’s straightened or flat ironed.  This would be less maintenance but you would have to make sure that you take care of it while its straightened.  Trust me, getting her straightened can be expensive.  The cost depends on the length and the texture of her hair.

If you are willing to do a bit of investigative work, I may have your solution.  There is a famous Hollywood hairstylist who has over the years worked on finding shampoos and conditioners that help all women keep their healthiest hair.  He has finally come up with some hair products that have eliminated the soap in which is a critical factor in most shampoos and created a soapless shampoo and an incredible conditioner. One of the things that many black women are unaware of  is that often their hair already in a weakened state because of the perms, have that fragilityheighten with hair products that contain wheat protein. Our hair is fragile and protein infused hair products makes it even more so. White hair that does not undergo the perm process, thus they can easily manage the wheat protein shampoos and conditioners.  The shampoo and conditioner I am talking about is called WEN and and can be purchased on www.qvc.com  The shampoo and conditioner is so effective it leaves black hair in such beautiful condition especially virgin hair, that there is no need for a straightner…Go to QVC…click on Beauty, find WEN in the list of Brand names and read through his products. You can also read the reviews of those who have used it.  My girlfriend is white and we use the same shampoo and conditioner. This is a product for black, white or whoever, its for folks who want beautiful healthy hair and the result of these products is to give everyone such beautifully conditioned hair that without a straightner it becomes very straight.  I don’t think this was necessarily a goal when working to develop these products, but it was let’s say an unintended outcome for black women. I can assure you I am a rigorous questioner and investigator and this works well.  On the specific product page on these websites, you can click on the video presentation and watch what happens with the product demonstrations…it works I promse you.

The other item good for black hair…helps keep it straighter in humid and wet weather, is good for the health of the head and promotes growth is Aveda’s Brilliant (anti-humectant pomade). Don’t let the word pomade scare you it is not hair grease:)). Think of it as moisturizer for black hair. You don’t need to use a lot, but it is excellent for black hair. There is also a group of products by called "Carol’s Daughter" produced by a black woman and sold around the country at stores, but it is also sold on the other top home shopping website www.HSN.com    You can go on there and read about it.   I have never used her products and one of the reasons are they are pretty new and she was making them out of her home originally. I think they are probably fine, but probably not as advanced as I want. By that I mean, most adaptions that are new and innovative start because there is a huge market they can serve. I think Carol’s daughter, now successful will eventually do the kind of indept research that will grow its product list in the future.  Wen has been in the hair market for 20 years and his products reflect the knowledge and his focus was not black hair or white hair but wonderfully healthy hair. www.aveda.com  is also an organic group of products that are wonderful for all hair types.  Hold off on the perm for awhile.  good luck!

Hi Linda, I hope you don’t mind me suggesting this, but I want to save your daughter what I went through with my hair. I’m biracial (half black/ half white), and for most of my life my hair was relaxed. So for nearly my entire life I had no idea what my own hair looked like. It was broken, short, stiff, crunchy, and singled me out in the Caucasian school, neighborhood and family I was with (I was living with my white dad at the time).  I thought my hair was mutant hair because it acted so differently from the girls around me who could swing their hair over their shoulders and not worry about getting it wet, while I had a head covered in scabs from the chemcials. My hair seemed to be a symbol for how I was different, how I didn’t fit in.  It took me about 30 years to learn to love my hair as it grows naturally from my head, and it’s the best gift I could have given myself. I never wanted anyone else to ever go through what I did, so I put up a site to help parents just like you (and to hopefully save kids from going through what I did with my hair). If you are interested, the site is TightlyCurly.com.