Your story you shared breaks my heart. To this day I have grown women as associates who use the term "good hair" and "bad hair" and when I press them on it and question why at the age of 45+ they are still using such shame-filled terms, they label me as being "overly sensitive"  Each race has their identity issues they struggle with, talk about among themselves but don’t want to be discussed in mixed crowds. As is the case for countless issues we discuss on WoW, this is one I think is healthy and informative to discuss. But I must admit some of the responses make me cringe, pull back in anger and resentment, label those I don’t know with labels that may not be justified. But then again I do the same thing if we are talking politics. :-) 

Latinos want to be White and more often than not will say they have a "German" mother (when they don’t) - Asians want to be White, they have surgery to have their eyes widened and rounded and their noses adjusted - Blacks speak about their curly hair as if it is a sin, talking about how they must have their relaxer "cause their hair is gettin’ nappy" and Whites…..I have known 3 couples in my life that "literally" prayed to have blond blue eyed babies, with the belief that they would look better and get farther in life.

It just breaks my heart that so many people were damaged as children. Instead of a steady stream of positive reinforcement they had to endure negativity. I’m confident to the point of conceit on many levels. But it is this internal strength and self assurance that helps me survive the stares, glares and inappropriate comments. I wish I could infuse others with the confidence I have. I feel for those who don’t see their true beauty and value.

You see, I just watched O’Reilly trying to get away from the dissecting of Michael Jackson and now his estate, final resting place, speculation on his bottom left front tooth…whatever else they haven’t covered or have covered while he was alive.  What did I hear from O’Reilly in 5 minutes with Al Sharpton?  If Michael Jackson was an African American icon, why didn’t he have black children?  I am indeed appalled especially coming from those deemed christian conservative. Then heard We are the World uncredited as being civic mindedness and I guess the rest of Jackson’s songs. Apparently O’Reilly only listens to accordian music or something.  We must discuss race among us.

I am listed as caucasian, I look caucasian but have studied my history and was no longer able to pick a single race on the census.  Generation X is where we begin to see the Civil rights movement results.  We are small  but we lived among one another knowing that racism was wrong.  In fact, I’d like to thank the Children’s Television Workshop for all their help prior to school and after school with Sesame Street and other programs.

The reason I replied to your post J. Young, is that for some reason is that there is a degree of hype in your post. I agree with the idea of black pride but there is revenge in that mindset.   If one says, "white pride’ or "white power" it evokes images of Adolf Hitler or hate groups…like embracing being white is something that should be illegal.  No, it is not.  Martin Luther King, Jr. aimed high, much higher than survival of the fittest or self-promotion.  He aimed for the promise of equality.  Something that is born with us and had the courage to demand it peacefully.  An idea that throughout history hasn’t ended well for its promoters.  It scares the haters and they always end up freaking out on the peaceful leaders.

How one interprets a message is more about who they are inside and should not automatically assume their feelings are correct. For instance, if I get tired of writing and use my former employer’s slogan in a post because I text the 3 words where u at? to my children regularly it merely means I felt comfortable on the website. If I have a caucasian looking face as an icon it doesn’t mean I am responsible for something heinous when my ancestors never owned anyone of any race.

Now, that being said I’ll go further.  Would you believe that a curly headed caucasian would "feel" being called a n***er repeatedly growing up?  It happened.  I had brown eyes and curly blonde hair and every time certain people wanted to hurt me that’s what they would say because I liked the black garbage man when I was 3-4 years old he was friendly.  I liked Martin Luther King when I was 8.  I am convinced that racism in any form is something we are taught and it is up to us who are conscious of this fact to fix it.  My voting record isn’t exactly public. If we need truly formal posts, please let me know though.

I am staying in the deep south and I will still hear (despite my lack of social standing) people of color address me as Ms. and my first name.  What the hell is this?  It makes me cringe.  Explain that to me. I want an article on this phenomenon and an honest discussion on race not one biased on either side.

.Done

Belinda Joy

Both you and J. Young are correct. I made the generalization as well that Black women love their hair.  Perhaps, I should have spoken specially about the women and girls I know. The women and girls I know who have been raised to love, admire and respect themselves and their culture. Women who have started "Rites Of Passage" organizations to instill ethnic pride and to teach them from whence they came and how they got to this present place. It’s true  there is a difference between what is said in private and mixed company. Sadly in 2009 there’re  those individuals who would still pick the White doll.

I learned in the 1960s that the way in-which one wears one hair or dresses does not matter. It is what one  feels inside and the pride and respect one has for ones self. Style is individual. I will say in all honesty. If I see a Black woman wearing a blond wig and blue eye contacts I am going to view this as more than individual taste. I’m going to start the analysing process. I would really like to just accept that as taste and it could be. However, based on this nations history I’d have to delve deeper. I have to know the Why? It’s probably professional my training.