Education, learning and cultivation is an ongoing process. Learning can be formal and informal. There is something new to be learned everyday. It’s important to keep ones eyes and ears open. I may not agree with everything being said. However, I respect and value every-ones opinion. 

I learned several years ago that we all want to be heard. We want to be understood.

By the way Ann, what does this mean?       "It sounds as though black girls’ hair issues are like white girls’ weight issues."

Isn’t that statement a bit presumptive on its face?  Which black girls and which white girls? Or we all just one big happy bunch? 

Just WOW! A few things really jumped out at me on this one:

1. To Ann Hodgman who said something along the lines of "my people know nothing about relaxers…" Check your facts and your history. Relaxers were not invented by or for black people, they were in fact created by "ethnic" whites, like Jews. African Americans simply perfected them, and you might be surprised how many Greek, Jewish, Italian and other "ethnic" people who consider themselves white relax their hair. They simply use a lesser strength for a shorter period of time, but believe you me, they do relax their hair.

2. To all of the people who say that "hair is just hair…" In a perfect world, it would be; but our world is far, far from perfect, hence to many people and in many ways, it is so much more than "just hair." Sadly, most white Americans do not know anything about black history and social culture. Do some research on "quadroons and octoroons" and "house slaves vs. field slaves" and it might enlighten you a bit. Basically, since The Middle Passage, black people in America have been told we are ignorant and compared to savages and primates, etc. It was ingrained in our heads that "white is right and lighter is better." There was a premium placed on people with lighter complexions and straighter hair and to many people, the premium is still there, it just isn’t politically correct to say it. The term "good hair" is still used in this country by people of color (Latinos use it too) and sadly, there are still products for sale not only to straighten our hair, but also to "lighten and brighten" complexions.

3. To the white woman who said that it as a waste of time to learn relaxing hair in cosmetology because white women wouldn’t need it since no black woman would ever let them relax her hair - see #1 again and then check your racism at the door.  If you showed expertise at your craft, people of all races would utilize your skills as a hairdresser. See #4 for more information on that…

4. This story really is not about "black hair," rather it should be titled something about "Styling Afro-Textured Hair." ALL black hair is not "nappy," or coarse or even curly.  Just as black people come in all shades of skin color, we also have all types of hair textures, often more than one texture on one head. This also happens among white people, but not as frequently. As a black woman with a hair texture more often attributed to white or Latina women, I’ve had my hair cut and styled by people of varying ethnicities. If I were to relax my hair, I’d care not the color of the person doing it; rather I’d care about their qualifications.

5. To the white woman who complained about black women calling relaxers "perms" - Originally, it was called a "permanent relaxer" since the texture of the hair is changed permanently, hence the shortened name "perm."

6. Straightening or perming afro-textured hair can in some cases be an act of self-hatred. If the person is straightening just because they like the idea of it or want a change, then it isn’t. But for many black people (not just women), the idea of anyone seeing their hair in its natural state is horrific. They equate straightened hair with a higher social class and being more refined, much in the same way that some view lighter skin. It used to be a widely held belief in the upper echelon of black society that a man should never marry a woman whose skin was darker than his and even today, you have black people who pursue relationships with people of other races in order to have children with lighter skin and straighter hair. If I marry a white, Asian or Hispanic man because we have common interests and goals and enjoy each other’s company, etc - that is great. But if I marry or make children with him only because of the color of his skin or the texture of his hair, then there is a serious problem.  The same can be said about straightening our hair.

7. Corporate America still does not embrace afro-centric ideals of beauty on the whole. Just about a year ago, a beauty editor from Glamour magazine did a presentation about what is and is not acceptable in the corporate world and basically told black women no braids, locs (dreads is actually a pejorative term in many circles), no afros, twists, etc. In essence, she told black woman that unless they have naturally straighter or silkier hair, their natural hair texture is unacceptable in a professional environment. 

8. There were several comments about how "difficult" it is to manage afro-textured" hair. It isn’t difficult if you work with your hair’s natural texture. Much in the same way that people with bone straight and limp hair struggle to make waves and curls only to have them dissipate almost immediately, people with afro-textured hair who try to make it straight and bouncy and silky will find it difficult. However, if they embrace the curls, kinks, coils and waves they were given and wear styles more suited to their natural texture, they might find it much less difficult.

9. To the person who said something along the lines of “most black hair doesn’t grow long” – That statement should be qualified. Take note that most young black girls have very long ponytails and braids until they get their hair relaxed and it begins to break off from the repeated damage. Notice the people with afro-textured hair who do not relax their hair often have longer hair (you might not notice it because the curl pattern is often so tight that the hair literally “shrinks” up and the actual length can only be seen when the hair is elongated by being wet or stretched with their hand). Notice people with braids and locs past their waist.

I must say that I am glad to see this topic being discussed. As others have said, we need to conversations about race and culture in the hope that we will narrow the gap between American whites and blacks. I’d love to see the topic of euro-centric beauty ideals (not just hair) and its effect on black people discussed as well.