Lisa Thompson,

The reality is that on any given day, many a woman will walk passed you and see you and your hair as beautiful and wish they had your hair. Perhaps they won’t want it forever, but for a while. It may be the way we are built. We like a lot of looks or at least I do. Authentic women are always beautiful and it has less to do with natural or processed hair as much as it has to do with the woman who has chosen for herself and is comfortable with what she has chosen.

Linda,

No it is not racist for a white woman to ask questions about a black woman’s hair and as a black woman, I am truly sorry that you feel that way. It is all in how and why you ask. As the white mother of a biracial child with textured hair, you have a vested interest in knowing not only how to style your daughter’s hair, but what products and ingredients are actually good for her hair. As a black woman of mixed heritage, I can attest to the difficulty of learning to care for and love your own hair when your mother doesn’t know how to teach you. You’d be surprised to find that most products marketed toward afro-textured hair are terrible for the health of the hair. 

I’m assuming that your daughter’s father is black, if that is the case, is there an aunt or grandmother or cousin who can teach and help you? If not, ask a friend or coworker with hair similar to your daughter’s for advice. Otherwise,check for support and social groups in your area for biracial, interracial and multiracial families or even a "mocha moms" group. A great website for curly hair is www.naturallycurly.com and you will find plenty of helpful peolpe of all races and ethnicities there for support as well. 

If I may, a few helpful tips for caring for your daughter’s hair:

- afro-textured hair tends to be dryer (but not always). If this si the case, use only sulfate-free shampoos on her hair. Skip anything with sodium laurel sulfate or sodium laureth sulfate. 

- avoid products made with lanolin, petrolatum or mineral oil. These ingredients can coat the hair and impede it from absorbing the moisture it needs.

- use only products with water soluble silicones as silicone can coat the shaft and while at first, hair will appear doft and silky, later it may become dried out.

Good luck!

Linda Bradshaw

Kill the stereotypes and assumptions! … If you approach someone with a pure heart and pure intent you will receive a positive response. People genuinely like sharing information about themselves.

Years ago I had one of the strangest experiences. I was at a function hosted by "Operation Crossroads Africa." There was this little Black boy. He was actually standing in-front of me looking at me. I smiled and spoke to him. His adopted parents both white ran over looked at me as though I was trying to kidnap him and snatched him away. The child continued to stare at me.

I pitied the couple and felt sad for the child. The little boy had obviously met someone who mirrored his reflection. He was attempting to make a connection. This woman’s insecurity I thought will cause this child to suffer. Instead of trying to shut him away from his culture she should have been building positive relationships with people of color and Blacks. If nothing-else learning about his culture instead of trying to enclose him in a tower of ivory.