Nothing is more devastating to men than hair loss. Many men would prefer to be impotent than bald. Mr. Wow is still working on what he has left, with Rogaine, Propecia, volumizing shampoos and hairsprays.  But the fix is in.  From the front, it’s a high brow, with the illusion of volume. From the back and the upper sides, it’s more threadbare every year.  There’s enough to play with, if one has an hour in the a.m. but how distressing and stress-inducing is that?  And in the end, the whole thing turns into Christopher Lloyd in "Back To the Future."  Or Bozo the clown. Slicking it back still works okay. There’s no denying the inevitable, however.  Sooner or later, it’s got to be buzzed. 

 And this is a problem.  Mr. Wow does not have the beautifully-shaped head, or the agressively interesting features of men who rock that bald pate.  He needs hair.  Really needs it.  This is why Mr. Wow must win the lottery. Tremendous wealth will allow him to go all Elton John; a full-out wig, with bangs.  We all know what’s under Elton’s mop top—nothing.  But he carries it off because he’s Elton, rich and famous.  I’ll settle for the rich.  Being rich—lesiure-for-the-rest- of -your life rich— means you don’t have to give a damn what people think, even (especially) if they think "who’s he trying to kid with that dead rat on his head?" 

 Otherwise, you’re  just a man who spent way more than he can afford on something that everybody on the bus can clock as horse hair attached with super-glue.

 Still and all, men have it easy, as usual—bad bald head, bad bald features notwithstanding.  It’s no shock to see a man with a thinning hair.  What about the follicle loss trauma for women?!  Now, that’s a subject to be addressed here.