As Sinatra sang "When I was 41 it was a pretty good year". 

I loved the 40’s!  But I have to admit all of them have been supercalifragilistic!  (sp)

When I look back at the photos of my 20’s and 30’s I was slimmer and pretty in my youthfulness.  But now in my late 40’s I have a self acceptance of myself that I never had then.  I don’t like the aging process - who does? But I wouldn’t trade the way I look now for the self doubt, insecurity and lack of self appreciation I had back then!

Being pretty was not a goal; being attractive was! Throughout my adult life I found my own style, whether it was in style was not my concern,because it was elegant and suitable. However, now at 80, with a helmet of gray-white hair, little makeup, and my own sense of styling ( know clothes and materials, because I sewed), I have come into my own. But, pretty, never! I don’t have that kind of face or bone structure.

Fortunately, once adolescent miseries  in the age of Gable and Hayworth passed, and I began to accept  my slim hips and small breasts, so now they don’t droop to my waist, I’ve accepted my genes. Of course, now I appreciate old photos where I didn’t value my appearance as I might have, but Hurrah for passing menopause with good health and a sense of humor.

 So, for me, retaining my sense of hilarity and humor was the best achievement. Pretty, I’ll never be!

I remember my grandmother (mother of 8) looking in the mirror and telling me in her native Italian "I look in the mirror and say who is this woman?"  I was voted ‘prettiest girl’ P.S. 100, 8th grade and I am now my grandmother and I look in the mirror and say ‘getting old SUCKS big time’!!

I’d have to say my fifties. I thought 30 and 40 was it.  Becoming 50 was a major turning point in my life. I truly became comfortable in my skin. I’ve always been confident.

However, I believe that 50 mark really was the icing on the cake. I realized that I was at the half way mark and I don’t have time to waste. I have no tolerance for BS and ignorance. I enjoy being around people who have a thirst for life and learning. I like the face that stares back at me in the mirror. I love aging. I’m healthy, physically fit and stylish. I’m grateful for each day I awake. 

I love sitting at my desk  in my office or looking from my bedroom window at miles and miles of beautiful trees.

Each period brought with it adventures. I’m living in the present and enjoying what I have at this moment in time.

i was very tall and skinny in my youth. i was called all kinds of names, string bean, bag of bones, spider fingers and such. so when i actually developed i was kind of glad. i always had big cow bones compared to the other willow the wisp girls i craved to look like. so being thin didn’t do me justice.

after i married and had 2 kids and got to meet ppl away from my husband (abuser, tried to closet me in with only him and babies) i got self esteem for the first time. i started dressing for myself and b/c i loved what i wore (husband called me two bit hooker of course, i ignored it and to got the divorce). everybody else appreciated how i looked in my mid twenties to late 30’s and i really enjoyed the attention. i was always a little off beat in how i looked even if i decided to follow some fashion trend, it was still original to me and my tastes.

what others have thought has never bothered me. during the week for work i would dress the part. but friday afternoon i would break out and be myself. go out dancing, dating and having fun. the weekend daytime was for my kids and i still dressed the part for the evenings if it was cool enough. otherwise it was shorts and cute top. 

i enjoyed wearing makeup and was a bit over the top with it. but living in san francisco in the 80’s was great b/c EVERYBODY dressed the same way and i fit in with all the other OVER THE TOP ppl. so i fit in quite nicely for a while anyay. lol, not that it mattered to me!

then as i grew up and my kids grew up i still enjoyed my interesting life and taught my kids all the important things. but then when i hit my early forties (after my radical hysterectomy when i was 38) i started having more health problems again and gaining weight that i couldn’t shake. i was fine and dandy at 150 - 175lbs (as most ppl thought i was a lot thinner and that worked for me. but with the health problems and a 10lb weight gain went my self esteem. then my new husband when i was in my mid forties didn’t help one bit, (he was skinny and hated my weight even tho he knew it was from my condition, also i had gotten up to 190lbs).

after the divorce i went down to about 185lbs and was okay with it. but for some reason all the men i could have dated had a problem with it. so i stopped dating and just started to enjoy my own life. then my grandson came along and suddenly i didn’t care if i was fat and sassy, as long as i could love him.

so now i’m 50 in a body that feels 110 and weighs about 210lbs. i just got into a county program so i could see a dr and they are running all kinds of tests. so i figured the first thing they would do, since they took a lipid panel on me, is try to change my diet. so i figure that if i cut down on fatty foods (i will never totally take them out of my diet), drink more water (ugh!) and eat less candy it might help. i always ate lots of veggies, drink tons of milk and love my red meat. so i will eat more fish (i adore fish), more chicken (another ugh, unless it’s in a stew, dumplines or salad) and more salads (my favs are chefs salad of course).

we will see how it goes as to my getting my health under control. never smoked and barely drink anymore. so that should be a plus. but my prettiest was in my late mid 20’s to late 30’s. but i still feel like i’m pretty inside even if the outside of my is falling apart. lol!