As I check in the mirror before going out to a fancy dress party, I think of my mother who was elegant, dignified and chic.  I’ve always known that it would be impossible to live up to her grace and flair.  As much as I rebelled against her sophisiticaton early on, I find myself growing into my own style in my own time. She loved beautiful shoes and bags.  Her hair and makeup were meticulous.  Her signature was her blue lensed glasses.  I envied her thick, straight hair that always rolled under in a perfect pageboy, and she envied my "good legs," as she called them. She wouldn’t leave the house unless she thought she was impeccably dressed from hat and gloves to Chanel shoes.  

Watching the film Coco the other day I was reminded me of how she made everything she wore her own by altering it in some way.  She would hand dye a brand new perfectly good straw cloche jet black. Her clothing never wore her, she wore her clothing whether it was a Mainbocher dinner suit or a Balenciaga cocktail dress. Even though they were eventually decades old, on her they looked classic.

Her greatest style tips to me were that I should line my eyes because my skin and hair are so fair, and show my legs.

Interesting points, however, I am not sure about the "accessorize, accessorize, accessorize."  My daughters remind me to look in the mirror before I go out and take off at least one accessory.  The tip about dated makeup is great, I always want to say something to friends whose lipstick is too bright or just not right.  The other thing that I notice is that when women over fifty darken their hair their skin tends to look older. I want to tell them to soften the color of their hair instead on darkening it, but I, also, don’t want to be critical.  The worst is when a friend has halitosis. How do you tell her?

Tone of voice is another irritant.  My best friend told me to watch the tone of my voice and it is one of the best tips I’ve ever taken to heart. It made me aware of the fact that when my friend with a wispy Jacky-O voice talks, people listen. They lean towards her and really pay attention to what she’s saying.  Needless to say, she’s a great conversationalist.

Another tip is that if you get that sports car, be careful that you don’t rack up too many speeding tickets. 

For younger women serious about their careers, I would add these two: Never kiss a colleague.  Don’t show cleavage or a lot of skin in the office, because most young women look good in a trendy suit.  

What I mean, of course, is not only don’t kiss your colleagues, but don’t have sex with them either.  These can all be career breakers.

Great advice!  Wish I had gotten it years ago before I discovered Teva flip-flops and Chanel flats.  Maybe that’s why my feet have gotten even flatter.

A couple of years ago, I had to make the decision between continuing to play tennis or wearing high heels.  Playing tennis won out. For dress up, the only heels that don’t leave me limping the next day—because they are such a good fit—are Ferragamas.

I would like to know Dr. Levine’s opinion of Belgian shoes?  In the winter, I wear Belgians, some of which I started wearing twenty years ago. 

Generosity, is a huge draw for me.  If a man is stingy with money, he will also be stingy with his affections.  It isn’t about material things.  As long as he is generous with his time and he’s tender, that’s enough for me.  

A good sense of humor and sense of space make me like him even more. I stay away from grumps. Happiness is contagious; if he’s happy, it rubs off on me. He also has to be curious about the world around him.  I need a lot of space and he has to understand that.

As an on-line etiquette consultant, I monitor my site 24/7.  First thing in the morning, I answer questions from those who wrote me late at night or who live in other time zones.  Going out the door for dinner, I often find a question that I have to answer, even if it means that I’ll be more than fashionably late. Checking my Web site is the first thing I do in the morning and the last thing that I do before turning off the light.

Some questions take only a couple of minutes to answer, others can take three hours to properly cover all the bases. No day is ever the same. One question will inspire a new chapter for my book.  Another will change my whole take on a tricky etiquette dilemma.  

Having a Web site as a research tool is one of the best things I’ve ever done.  All thanks to my brilliant agent, Esmond Harmsworth, who recently inspired a new entry on canine dinner party etiquette for my book on manners in our time.  

Last week, Esmond e-mailed "A very low-key invitation" for a grilled lamb barbecue mentioning that canines would be welcome.  As it turned out, the celebration was in honor of Eloise’s fifth birthday.  The party for the beloved yellow Lab was a huge success despite the fact that a couple of rowdy guests had to be sent home or taken out to the car.  Some guests were on leashes.  The more mature, relaxed guests knew how to behave and freely roamed the house and grounds.  The French Poodles seemed to have the most difficulty socializing.  

Needless to say, writing the on-line thank-you note was a challenge for this etiquette consultant.