Behaving like a gentleman brings out that manliness that turns women on.

People’s sex lives are their own business. You never really know what goes on in other people’s relationships, therefore, it is best not to judge.

I was in Cuba recently posing as a Canadian and wowOwow did I ever hear about how the USA is perceived. Ninety miles from Florida and we don’t acknowledge the close proximity. What’s with that?

Let’s not over-project. Eyes don’t always reveal how people really feel. Michelle has huge eyes, so do a lot of people. What you want to look at is her body language. What I want to know is if the New Yorker had ever considered a cover cartoon of Laura Bush in prison for killing someone in a car accident and George going AWOL and doing drugs? This cover of Obama and Michelle is sensationalism at its worst. The image is not funny.

Caroline Kennedy is an excellent role model. We need more policy makers sensitive to issues that focus on education, family and health. Her parents would be so proud of her. We should all support such good role models. Here is a person who spends her time and energy thinking and working towards improving the welfare of others.

Sailing

Hollywood is glamorizing teen pregnancy. The film Juno and the tabloids made it cool. Here in Newport, RI, in the eighth grade class of 89 students there are two fourteen year olds who are currently pregnant and one fourteen year old with a new born. In the seventh grade there are two thirteen year olds who will give birth in the fall. When I asked an eighth grader what grade she has sex education, she said eleventh. Clearly, children in middle school need to learn sex education before seventh grade.

Despite all their faults, I have been a loyal Clinton supporter up to this contest. It is a new age. Obama represents the 21st century; it makes sense that he should lead. In Rhode Island we have many friends of Obama’s from his years at Harvard who are totally devoted to his success. These men and women worked with him at the Harvard Law Review, they were in classes with him. When they tell stories about him, those stories are always endearing and ernest.

Women got the right to vote after Afraican-Americans. Gloria Steinem in her brilliant op-ed New York Times piece last January reported that her think tank theorized that this country would elect a black male president before a woman.

This weekend I am attending the wedding of my classmate from third grade who is marrying for the first time at the age of 61. It is a traditional wedding in Watch Hill with long train and veil. She has had many suitors, but it has taken this long to find her life partner.

His clothing in the late seventies was the best. Those wonderful cotton flared skirts with peasant blouses were my summer wardrobe. My teenage stepdaughters loved them, too, so we shared. With big brass filigree earrings and turquoise beads or a string of pearls, you could go anywhere day or night, country club or Doubles. He must have been influenced by Caterine Milinaire’s book Cheap Chic. His clothes might not have been cheap, but their chicness gave them a timeliness that means that you can pull that look out from the depth of the closet on a whim. Plus, they were better made than most clothing made today. When I went to the Democratic Convention in Miami in 1972, my working outfit was a kaki St. Laurent paint suit. Ironically, it was a Safari suit.

Last night my literary agent, Esmond Harmsworth, treated a group of us from Newport, RI, to one of many US performances of “Ennio!” in Boston at the Huntington Theatre. All of us were once again brought to tears to the outrageous, humorous talent of Ennio Marchetto’s performance, which we all had experienced in Venice, Italy, at Esmond’s 40th four night birthday celebration iast June. It was a hilarious reunion.

His name was Jim Stewart. It was seventh grade at the North Country School in Lake Placid, New York. He played the guitar. There had been kisses earlier in elementary school but only because it was Spin the Bottle and that doesn’t really count.

My mum made me strong, my mum made me tough. She was political; she was witty; she was artistic and creative. Maternalistic, domesticated, she was not. Her claim to fame is that she founded the Newport Jazz Festival with my dad Louis Livingston Lorillard. They met in Naples during WWII. He was an army officer and she taught orphans art through the Red Cross. They bonded going to jazz clubs in Naples. My mother was not an enabler. She questioned my values, my taste, my style, my cooking, my parenting skills, and my choice in men and dogs. When she was alive I hated her because she was so critical. She died last year and I find that I really do love her because she made me strong. Because of her I write every day. Because of her I am on the Obama RI Steering Committee organizing a rally Flag Day here in Newport, RI—-even though I know that she is scolding me for not volunteering for Hillary. She taught me to be my own person. Her name is Elaine Lorillard. She brought jazz out of the dark cellars and into the open spaces of tennis casinos and ball parks, a freedom that led to Woodstock, which I wouldn’t have missed for the world. Back then, here in Newport she and my dad were criticized for having musicians in their house. History might just remember her as one of Newport’s legends. It gets even better, she was also an artist who left a small body of her art, collages that she had been working on for 33 of her 93 years.

I am not Ms. Manners, but as an etiquette columnist at newportmanners.com, I receive many questions from waitstaff asking how to address a woman when they don’t know her name. It is just as awkward for the person who is trying to get your attention when Ms. may be easy to write, but Miss sounds better in conversation because it is easier to say. Then again it can be regional as well-mannered children in the South are still taught to address women as “Ma’am.” When answering a question about how to address a women, I defer to Letitia Baldrige, who reminds us that French is the language of diplomacy throughout the world, and “Madame” is almost as much of a catchall as “Ms.” in the American idiom. Ms. Baldrige recommends using “Madame” for a woman because it makes life simple to say, “Just call me Madame.” Congratulations Caterine, your work is always just brilliant. ~~~Didi Lorillard