Five years ago I started my own etiquette business by launching a free Q&A etiquette Web site as a research tool for a book on modern manners. I had great support from my literary agent, a man, my husband, and male friends, but oddly enough the more powerful the woman, the less supportive she was when approached for advice.

Now my youngest daughter is starting her own business and I see the same pattern:  it is the other men in her field that are encouraging her and it is the women who are less supportive. One would hope that my daughter’s generation wouldn’t have the same gender bias but I’m not sure about that.   

On the other hand, my eldest daughter is also one of the few women in her field and she is surprised but pleased that the men she networks with treat her as one of the boys.  Both of my daughters have good networking skills and a lot of self-confidence, however, I am still shy about asking for help, and ironically timid about seeking advice. So, I do see progress and promise, but I don’t know how to network my site.  I would greatly appreciate any suggestions, criticism and advice.

For me and my daughters, networking is a tremendously important concern and I will send them copies of your books. 

Entertaining has never been easier.  In these hard times, most guests are happy to have a home-cooked meal, even if the napkins haven’t been ironed.  Guests are so grateful not to be eating out in public, where the quality and freshness of restaurant food becomes questionable as chefs are forced to cut budgets.

Especially in summer with farmers markets selling just picked fruits and vegetables, no dessert could be simpler, nor more delicious, than fresh-picked strawberries with a dab of local honey.  Lobsters, mussels, crabs, clams and locally caught fish have never been a better bargain as restaurants pair down on offering luxury foods, and as a result dropping the price per pound in the marketplace. Nothing tastes quite like summer as newly picked corn on the cob.  

Summer is the time to eat well for less and entertain more… 

My closest friends know that I love them and are not needy for words or gestures of affection.  Recently, with a dear, close friend, and cousin, who was going through shear hell, I kissed her on the forehead as I was leaving and said, "Love you."  In a matter-of-fact tone, she said, "I know."  The friends that you’re the closest to are not insecure about your friendship, or your relationships with other friends, because they know where they stand and feel that it is condescending of me to think that I have to reassure them. 

Those friends who are less secure about our friendship (usually newer friends) tend to seem to need more signs of affection.  For instance, I live on an island that is a summer resort four months out of the year and when friends arrive for the summer they seem to need a big hug.  The men like a kiss on the cheek and will often offer up the second cheek as well.  Nowadays, greeting is more about the big hug.  If I’m the person just entering the gathering, these friends will line up for a hug.  Often I can tell that they are apprehensive as they respond wondering whether that hug will include a kiss on the cheek.  It is not that I have to think about who gets a hug and a kiss on the cheek or who just gets a hug (men) or kiss on the cheek (women).  It is all quite fun, an excuse to kiss and hug, but funnily enough, as I said, my closest women friends don’t seem to need either.

Spending a week in Cuba during the winter of 2008, was definitely one of my most romantic adventures!  My senses tingle with the memories of being on that exotic, warm, and sensual island so close to home, and yet from decades past.  There were moments when I felt that I was in a movie from the forties or in a time capsule that hadn’t yet been opened, and moments when I wanted to join the late night dancers up on the dance floor in their tropical costumes reveling in the flexibility of their bodies.  

At that time, the person on the street didn’t have a cellphone.  Since then, I understand that cellphones are cropping up everywhere.

Everything about the trip was intriguing, opening my senses to new smells, tastes, and ideas.  Visualize dinner for two on a tiny balcony off the third story of a partially restored nineteenth century house, cooked and served by the family, while being serenaded by local music from the open windows and doors—all under a starry, moonlit, tropical sky.  

Then there’s the intriguingly complicated history; learning other accounts of the stories…

Friends convinced me years ago to start an etiquette consulting business and it has been hugely successful from the start.  I am so incredibly grateful for their support and encouragement.

www.NewportManners.com is a vibrant service that makes me wake up every morning and say to myself, "Gotta’ get to work."

If you can find the service business that is right for you, go for it! 

We are fortunate to have the good services of a "rent-a-husband," a local guy-of-all-trades, who happens to be a college grad, who actually likes to work on bathroom grout, wash windows and storms, and change them with the seasons.  

However, when it comes to mucking out an old family place of generation after generation of "stuff," and getting down to the nitty, gritty, and yucky dirty, my cousin is there for me. You can hire people, and you can hire people, but having a buddy help out is the most efficient way to get the job done.

What I’ve found with my friends and from my own experience with my two daughters is that those of us who had difficult relations with our mothers have made a huge, whole-hearted effort to be better role models for our daughters than our mothers were to us.  

Also, never give up.  If you don’t hear from your daughter, don’t take it personally because she is living her life to the fullest.  Keep on communicating and don’t wait for her to return your text, call, or e-mail.  After all, it is our job to teach our children how to communicate; in their own time, you will settle into a healthy pattern of communicating.  And, as we all know by our age, criticism destroys relationships, so bite your lip or read that text or e-mail out loud to yourself before pressing Send to make sure that the tone of your message cannot be misinterpreted. Your tone resonates deeper than words.  

At all times, in everything that we say and do, a mother is the role model for her daughter’s behavior.  If she behaves badly, examine what you see in yourself that showed her it was all right to behave in that manner. Scary, but true.  

One last point—and it’s a huge one.  End each and every communication, whether it is in person or not, with "Love you," "I love you," "I love you so much," or "Lots of love always" and wait to hear her echo those sweet words.