“Many people in the country are straining against change. They like our country the way it is.” CBS Poll: 81% of the people think America is on the wrong track: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/04/03/opinion/polls/main3992628.shtm… Senator McCain has voted with Bush 100% of the time and affirms his policies. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. Senator McCain’s polices are disastrous for women. Europe has Obama fever. JFK still has a 84% approval rating and many loathed him and Jackie too. They ripped her hair, her voice, her background, her clothes, her food, ‘debutant ways.’ As one of my sister, a theologian who was also pastor of large church said, “30% of the people will love you in spite of anything you do, 30% will loathe you no matter what you try, and the rest just don’t care.” This is a very diverse country. I agree that Mrs. Obama would do herself and her husband a favor by dialing it back a notch, but she has to be herself. They have a huge base of fans and have raised more money in the history of elections, $2M a day, a quarter billion thus far, $100M anticipated for June. And 94% of donations are under $200. This demonstrates their popularity and also strategy acumen. It’s impossible to please all of the people. And by listening too much to advisors Gore, Kerry, Clinton all came off as less than authentic. Every campaign is different and things must be adjusted as they go. But they’ve done an incredible job, and am sure will just improve as they go, although for certain can’t get through this fire without getting burnt.

Gianna— I think people’s own disempowering emotions are what is very harsh and that the self-diminishing core beliefs are at the root of the problem. I feel very symphathetic to people with weight (or other) problems because life is challenging enough. But they have a choice to accept and live with it, or beat themselves up (just more damage), or decide to find another way. For my money the last is heroic and deserves a lot of respect. As the expression goes ‘the greenest garlands go to the hardest won races.” When someone walks out on a stage as the visible ‘after’ (Oprah still looked good even when she was way overweight but she was miserable) everyone can appreciate what a victory it is. I made a career of solving problems and had a lot dropped into my life also to handle….generally my way is to stare cause and effect in the face, get very clear about what’s going on, what is needed to fix it, and act. A person can be self-supporting while changing a behavior—these are not mutually exclusive—and at the same time be very honest and clear about all the destructiveness. To me a bit of detachment on the clarity makes things easier to change: These are all of the costs, all of the consequences, and over here is the picture of what I want. Now what needs to be done to get there, first it is the core beliefs. What do we believe that causes us to act in this manner. And what would we need to believe to act differently I think that beating oneself up, feeling bad, so counter-productive and useless. To me better to methodically examine everything and get on with it. Decide. am I going to just accept this. Great. Stop talking about it and accept it. Am I going to change. Great. Decide. this is it, no more. And then find all the facts needed to support your decision to change. I’ve thought for decades that probably it would be a good idea to be a vegetarian. But I never had enough facts to bolster my believe that I could do it, and that it was really an imperative if I’m going to walk my talk. When I did the research for an article, my beliefs changed that day. I will never eat meat again. the only thing that changed in decades of thinking I should and actually doing it was enough information to make the change. Yes, I’ve seen the hording and that was my point it often extends throughout every area of life because it is a symptom of a root cause. When get quality information, clairity on beliefs (maybe by daily journaling every AM) take walks in the fresh air, get rid of the stale old ways of thinking and being, change habits, and move on. “This behavior is as difficult to overcome”—this is a self-limiting belief that makes things difficult. I think Iris is someone here who also did the firewalk—that is a very powerful metaphor and demonstration about beliefs. You look at 2,000 degree hot coals and your entire body recoils. There is no possible way that you can walk across that without winding up with bloody stumps. Then you go back in and learn how (no trick, it’s real) and then do it. And you see how much we limit ourselves by what we falsely believe we can do. People have different frames from their family, their local culture, and their inherent cognitive style. Mine may say something very different from yours—I don’t think it’s harsh just let’s get real and get this solved and move on. My younger sister didn’t speak to me for a year because she was having problems with her husband and would call me and go on and on constantly repeating the same thing. I finally got exasperated and said, “You know, when you keep doing the same thing and expect a different result this isn’t a problem —it’s a lifestyle.” She banged the phone down and they moved to the carribean…she got to see real poverty and went back to school for an MA and became a school pyschologist in a very poor, rough area. she’s been doing it for years and loves it. and also remarried someone who shares the same values and is crazy about her. they bought a beautiful home and have been extremely happy for the last decade. After Obama is elected….am still moving to France….because that is where my son is and that is my true home. sorry this is rushed and unedited. I emphatheic with other peoples problems, but have little patience with complaining about situations and no well thought action to change. Just from being in a cast for 4 months and no exercise I see the energy it takes to ramp back up to where I was, so understand it requires extra energy and focus for awhile. Just like getting a plane off the ground…then it cruises along. Can you imagine if the process was fraught every time with a energy-draining distracting discussion by the captain/co-captain/flight engineer etc.”Can we make it, I don’t think we’ll make it, it’s so hard, the winds, I didn;t get my paycheck, my wife’s mad at me, oh, I hate this, why did I choose this career, there’s no air in here, we just keep flying the same damn route, my legs are cramped” etc. No.They get in. They have a plan. And they go for it full out. To me that’s effective. Do you think Sheila is tricking us. Everyone knows this is an emotional issue so we become part of the story. Are we the two sides of the protagonist’s mind arguing with herself? Pretty funny. I think so.

Well I didn’t mean it as contempt or a lecture. The question was how is this lady going to break her destructive cycle. It’s about health. And my perspective is based on having been primarily interested in nutrition/fitness since a child, and also having had a career where I saw a tremendous amount of consequences to this kind of behavior. Our “Fast Food Nation” diets (very good book) are extremely damaging to the planet and our lives. It’s so easy to slip into without awareness because it is reinforced constantly by images, advertising, personal habits. ie “Things go better with coke” is a catchy slogan for something that has zero nutrition, is loaded with calories and has basically no upside if concerned about personal and planet wellbeing. So we all have free choice in what we want to believe and practice. To me when someone is in a cycle like the lady in this story she is headed for a heart attack, adult diabetes etc. It’s a description is of addictive behavior and when change one part in that cycle changes a lot can change. If people want to cozy up to their addictions instead of face and resolve them—that is their choice. I have one set of beliefs based on a great deal of observation and was saying how I think this lady in the story could stop her cycle. My best friend is one of the smartest women I’ve ever met. A Harvard MBA with all the trimmings. Her daughter and I tried to improve her diet 15 years ago, but we gave up—that’s her. The intervening years have been one long health crisis and endless doctors visits/hospital stays. My grandmother used to say ‘eat good food or pay the doctor.’ She lives in a rural beach town and now her driver’s license has been taken away because she’s had strokes…another consequence…having to hire someone to live with her and drive for her when she values her privacy. I wonder how things might have been different if 15 years ago she learned to cook healthy things instead of living exclusively on the opposite. So, whatever…I can’t even imagine eating like the woman in the story, it’s frightening. To me she needs a lot of information and a better way. But like all of us she has choices. Bigger pants and a cat are another approach.

She is an amazing writer….so distinctive….and what I really like is her writing is so intelligent and gripping about pop culture themes when often these things are handled superficially.

Star. But I didn’t say just keep veggies in the fridge—I said if you compare the refrigerator and/or shopping cart/dinner plate contents of people who are fit vs people who are not you will see the different values reflected in how they think of/use food. Go into a Whole Foods and look at very healthy looking fit people and look at the contents of their shopping carts, then go to a warehouse store that sells junk food in bulk and do the same, the people pushing those carts are going to look very differently because their beliefs and habits about food are different. One group’s belief/talk is “We’ll have broiled salmon, stir-fried kale with lots of onion and garlic in sesame oil, and strawberries for desert then go for a run on the beach (high-density nutrients/exercise) The other thought process is “After those quarter-pounders, fries, and cokes let’s go to the movies. They have all you can eat popcorn with giant cokes, and then we can stop by Baskin Robbins for hot fudge sundaes before lights out.” I see that gulf in beliefs/habits all the time. One belief is “green=lean.” The other is “yuck, only if I can bury it under a pint of ranch dressing.” Beliefs are at the core of every action and consistent actions/habits add up to results/life. Do this set of consistent things=this result, and do another set of consistent things= a different result. I feel for any entrenched habit that diminishes the quality of life because we all have them. This nation has gotten obese in a generation. “Fast Food Nation” is a very scary book. Mostly it has to do with awareness. I’ve seen so many great women with terrific careers and money and they put ketchup and sugar (I mean this metaphorically) on everything and wonder why they can’t lose seriously health compromising weight. Never going to happen without that basic awareness. And that applies to anything whether money, work, sports. If you want to power hit straight down the fairway and consistently hook left into the trees—the stance and swing has to change to change the result. People will say they want a different result and then argue for their habits. “But I always stand and swing like this. It’s a family thing.” As the expression goes ‘argue for limitations and they are yours.’ I agree with Phyllis that for many people it isn’t important…they like to eat and their lifestyle. So that’s a choice. And with you that things are made complex. The lady in the story is investing tremendous energy in a cycle of behavior that is robbing her of time, emotional energy, and what she says she wants. My mother, her mother and grandmother were nuts on healthy food. So to me it’s like a religion. Unhealthy eating isn’t just unhealthy for the individual it’s unhealthy for the planet, and the opposite is also true…and most people don’t have the information to make that connection. For instance, I wonder what % of people out of 1,000 understand all the environmental repercussions to eating meat, it’s astounding. Here’s a piece with lots of factoids if interested. http://ezinearticles.com/?The-1-Way-To-Save-The-Planet-And-Become-Health… It’s lack of awareness of what we are doing to animals too. Even a 1/4 oz bird has a lot of personality and likes and dislikes and in US alone killing 9M animals a year aft they live in such misery. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_C1EtT9lkI&feature=related I love the new books “Gorgeously Green” fun http://www.gorgeouslygreen.com/ And Kathy Freston’s “Quantum Wellness” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyBMMys3b5M And Dr. Oz’s Anti-Aging diet that can the gist of on Oprah.com….really great. But everyone’s different and value and believe different things. I just saying what I believe.

“Is any negative or questioning comment about a candidate or spouse now “swiftboating”?” I don’t think so. “Can you be a swiftboat with an outboard motor?” I think that might be swiftboat-lite.

If her clothes reprise Jackie’s, I’m definitely for that. Classics are always welcome. Have read Shelby Steele’s books. Michelle’s comments haven’t bothered me-I understand what she means. She’s a nimble lady and will maintain equilibrium amongst all the slings and seismically shaper-shifter views. I think it’s as thrilling as watching Ocean’s Eleven.

I just realized that as Teddy Kennedy said, “The work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives and the dreams shall never die” that he sees this as a continuation too. JFK spoke about adding to the work of the centuries and Teddy made his endorsement at American University where JFK gave his famous “Peace” speech…and Ted said his proudest vote in his Senate career was against the Iraq war resolution. Which is just one of the reasons he’s behind Obama. This just has so much fitness to it. When Obama makes his acceptance speech in August in Denver it will be on the anniversary of MLK’s “I Have a Dream” speech. Amazing. Wonder what Michelle will wear Jan 20, 2009 and who should design her dress.

Funny and icky too. Happened to me. So gross. I went to a David Hockney retrospective in LA on a first date. He was very knowledgeable about art. We went to a steak house in Beverly Hills for a late lunch. The gentleman smoked a cigarette in the car on the way, tailgated others in the downpour, then ordered three Manhattans in rapid succession before we even saw a menu. Typical Type A I thought to myself deciding that we were a mismatch and this was a one time event. He was waving his third drink in the air as he spoke and some of it was sloshing into the air when an enormous cockroach ran across the linen tablecloth between us. He cried “La Cucuracha” and slammed his glass down on top of it, splashing me with liquor. I let out a squeal, people turned around, and then I saw the awful giant bug’s legs/feet (?) waving in the air from under a side of the glass. It was horrible but I couldn’t stop laughing because it resembled something floating in a David Hockney swimming pool. We moved to another table and had a nice lunch and I discovered he was upset and distracted because a long time patient had died—he was really quite sweet. But I fixed him up with a friend who wasn’t as finicky about near-death driving experiences with a surgeon who over-drinks.

Will just saying an affirmation change things. No. The difference between people who overeat and people who don’t is what food represents to them, what their core beliefs about food are, what their food habits are, and how much knowledge they have about nutrition. If good nutrition represents good health and the best kind of medicine; open their fridge and it will be a riot of colorful fresh produce, lots of greens, juices, maybe fresh fish, everything organic, maybe a glass bowl of cut up fruit like fresh pineapple, strawberries, oranges and bananas ready to go into blender drink. Their bible is ‘Prescription for Nutritional Healing.’ They drink lots of water and look great in skinny yoga clothes. Every forkful is healthy. It doesn’t take willpower because they equate the quality of food with the quality of health, good skin, wellness, with the awareness that everything you take in becomes you. For people like the lady in this story food is entertainment, a numbing drug, a substitute for something only they can figure out. Almost always their whole life is too stuffed. The drawers and closets are stuffed, the storage is stuffed, they are stuffed, the car is stuffed, the glovebox is stuffed, they stuff down their emotions with food. The fridge is stuffed with junk…the cabinets too. Lots of packaged, processed food. They have no consciousness of what’s in it or how that translates into their bodies. They shop for quantity, not quality. There is some hole, something missing that they are trying to fill. And it’s also nutritional knowledge. If you pulled random fit and obese people off the street and gave them a multiple choice nutritional quiz, really fit people would score high on choosing the right amounts of protein, calcium, different vitamins they need everyday, and could provide caloric values and nutritional content of most foods. Obese people could not. And their disempowering language about weight is a self-perpetuating prophecy: It’s hard. I can’t. I try. I always fail. They often resent people who have what they want instead of examine their beliefs, habits and results as a blueprint. She also needs to know a portion is the size of a deck of cards not an entire heaped plate, and to understand the connection between how thoughts, equal actions that turn into habits: Instead of having the believe that every night there is desert and that means two pieces of cake, change the belief that desert means fresh pineapple with a spoonful of organic vanilla yogurt and a few walnuts. Understand the nutrition and how it translates into outward appearance, energy, and health, it’ll be the desired thing because it has so much value. Then because a ball in motion stays in motion she could begin breaking the cycle by getting rid of tons of junk and organizing. And by buying only healthy foods.

Great photos Liz. Yours and Robert Platzer’s is the best…two attractive people looking like they are having lots of fun.

The sleeveless dress thing reminds me that the brief moment I said hello to Nancy Reagan at a Friday night wedding at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco. She was wearing a long sleeveless white chiffon sheath that had a ruffle down one side shoulder to hem, and big splashy red-pink flowers on it…not too many. She was standing all alone at the foot of the red carpet, no one around at all, and I noticed her as I was cutting across the stairs to the reception tent, this was perhaps in 1997. People in the small park across the narrow street noticed her and clapped she seemed really pleased and made a little wave back. She was tiny, but the long dress and high hair elongated her. The wind was blowing her dress but she seemed very rooted in the moment and had a frank gaze….rather than an averting one. I had the impression that this was a lady who placed very high value on her femininity and that she faced things head on. I felt so sorry for her at her husband’s burial at his library, she could hardly leave the casket. And she raised a darling son….Ron Jr.

Jackie Kennedy wore sleeveless dresses all the time and in other nations as pictured here in India, a modest country. She was so popular there her photo was on alters all over the country, she was called, Goddess of Power, Nehru kept her photo on the nightstand by his bed, they flooded the Ghanges with orange flowers and then she went to Pakistan and jumped horses with their military: http://www.metmuseum.org/special/Jacqueline_Kennedy/images/2.L.jpg Here sleeveless going into Church: http://www.ehistorybuff.com/history/jackiekenneyeasterphoto07.jpg And here at the first showing of the Mona Lisa outside of France because France was so ga-ga for Jackie they let their great treasure come tour the US in honor of Jackie: http://chicinparis.files.wordpress.com/2007/06/jackie_kennedy-210x315.jp… No one had more class, dignity or style than Jackie. I loved that dress Michelle wore because of the color and because it was sleeveless. She has very powerful cut arms and beautiful hands and the dress was feminine but also showed her strength. I hope she wears many more like that. She’ll bring back style like Jackie. I think she’d look terrific in silk shantung’s in brilliant, clear colors..and…she looks great in white. Youthful, fresh and very cool.

NP—Great writing, right on and witty, too.

I especially agree with what Mary wrote, but understand Joan, Julia and Liz’s advice too. Here’s what I hope: She wears more of the brilliant jewel tone colors like that fabulous purple dress. Energetic and emblematic of the fresh start we need. Even Jackie Kennedy was bashed and made gaffes like her ‘sable underwear’ comment. She is going to be swift-boated and I think Michelle’s friend, Maria Shriver, is a tremendous role model of an outspoken, activist political wife who, as California’s First Lady, has recently started a new program- ‘We.’ http://www.firstlady.ca.gov/ [Note: the state emblem with Minerva—the Roman’s name for Athena—and the words Courage, Wisdom, Strength.] If she adopted a signature theme like “We” it would be timely, could deflect criticism, relates to anything she wants to say, and makes the message more memorable and hard to argue with. It’s mistake for her to focus on ‘fixing’ things. That should be left to her husband and to surrogate-warriors like Jim Webb. Her energy should always convey the vision, the dream. I wonder if they’ll have a campaign song? I’d vote for “Reach” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tr2HEOQGZ8c As a couple they are so right for the times and the world. Shinning, effervescent and so alive. So exciting. And only 5 months to go.