I can agree with Lauriate.  It shouldn’t be a mandate that all women must take refuge in isolation in order to find themselves.  At the same time, I know the times when I did escape a crazy household with five young children proved to be beneficial for us all.  Goes to Joan L. and her sense of balance…and the endless variety of personalities on the planet. 

But I do appreciate the interview.  And Ms. Andersen’s willingness to support the idea that many women may do well to escape, so they shouldn’t fight the urge.

The day death gently comes for me

I’ll calmly take her hand.

Whatever happened to Jane Curtain?  And while Lily Tomlin may have emerged as the most enduring comedienne from Laugh-in, she was in great company.  Goldie Hawn’s no slouch when it comes to comedy. And Joanne Worley was a scream.  But I saw Joanne Worley in a musical about the Russian revolution (if you can imagine…the Dark Lady, I think it was called) at the Mark Taper back in the 80’s and she was stunning in a serious role! 

"Not der craw!  Der CRAW!!"

Can’t top this.

Well, feed him his favorites.  Sometimes that’s all you can do. 

The youngest of my two military sons is leaving for somewhere in December.  He’s hoping for Afghanistan.  I don’t get it.  Well, I do, but I don’t.  I totally admire his wife.  She’s an ace when it comes to putting up with the uncertainty of military life.  I don’t envy her.

Meanwhile, in Dallas, my eighth grandchild was born…Willow Grace…to my middle son, who’s an LPN.  So there’s always something to feel good about.

Oh, I know.  I’ve been there myself.  But I’m pretty sure at this point, I was confused about just what love was.

Yep.  Alanon’s the best.  I’m glad to hear your son is coming home.

I’ve never liked that phrase.  "Love conquers all."  I can see how love supports and forgives and comforts and embraces and provides all sorts of other valuable accoutrements to our lives, and endures whatever life throws at it.  But conquer?  I think that idea may lie at the root of most dysfunctional and pathetic relationships.  Long-suffering isn’t love.  It’s just suffering for a very long time.

Frannie!  Hi!

I’ve been away for awhile.  Not really.  I’ve just been reading more than writing, and it’s all stuff from months ago, when I fell so far behind with my e-mail alerts.  My daughter, who I was so worried about last winter, has come to live with me.   Big joy, big relief, big trouble all rolled into one.  And with her addictions still rumbling just below the surface, authenticity it doubly challenging for me.  One of those "be careful what you ask for" situations, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Where there’s life, there’s hope.  Right?

Dear Liz, 

Sorry about the headache.  Honest.  But I believe you really do "know it" and "call it" when you see it.  You’re a great lady.

"Authenticity" has everything to do with honesty, imho.  Authentic people don’t claim to be something they are not, or exaggerate their accomoplishments.  Their behavior is consistent with the stories they tell, to themselves and to others, about what makes up their life.

It doesn’t always come from positivity.  I’ve known miserable people who will be the first ones to tell you they’re authentically miserable.  I’ve been there myself, at times.  In terms of human personality, the opposite of authenticity would be pretension or (even worse) hypocrisy.

When I was thirty-six, studying psychology, there was a definition of personal authenticity which looked at the disparity between an individual’s public and private behavior.  I realized there was a big difference between the woman who showed up to work every day, and the woman who walked in the front door of my house every evening.  And so a good deal of reflection and adjustment was in order. 

Ever since, I’ve used that measurement to help me develop my own sense of personal authenticity.  I think it’s an important quest, and has contributed quite a bit to my personal and social interactions.  Not to mention a growing sense of confidence in what I’ve come to know as my personal identity.

But I’ll be the first to admit, it’s been, and continues to be, an ongoing process for me 

 

Wait a minute…I think there’s a difference between pretense and social grace.  Sometimes it’s only courteous to keep one’s boredom to oneself.

"Just in case Obama takes up golf…"

OCD strikes arbroreal population in Far East:  read more….