men are men—they have never changed—it is the nature of the beast.

as women we even have to help them with that issue……

I am supposed to get it—because of my autoimmune disease.

I already had the Regular Flu Shot.

I still have to think on it. I am always nervous with new vaccines.

I was mandated as a nurse to get the Hepatitis Vaccine years ago.

It came then in 2 injections a day apart.

Supposedly it had NO side effects.

I was healthy as a horse then and had no allergies.

One hour after this shot I was in the ER-severe headache and short of breath-so I never had the second shot. I now list that as an allergy.

I do remember one year my infection control nurse pulled me aside and told me-""don’t get the flu vaccine this year "" she told me everyone she knew that had it was sick.

So that year I passed on it and was the only one in my unit not to suffer the flu.

Really I think it is best to take these vaccines for most people,,,because of my health I am not sure yet—-hey thats if you can even get it!

I personally do not think the Government has been as out there as they should be about all this! Very serious illness headed our way!

I have already taken some precautions as far as increased hand washing -everyone in my house has a botle of Purell on them

In our bathroom we no longer have hand towerls-

-I put up a Paper towel wrack -

showed everyone how to use the paper towel to shut off the fauscet

and open the door to leave—

outside the Bathroom I have a large basket for trash.

I have had to learn-oh boy-the hard way—that people in your life that cause you pain and make you anxious and suffer..make you cry—make you worry and question yourself—it is best to remove them from your life.

If all he surrounds you with is negative—YOU will become negative as well. Unfortunately people do not change like we would like them too.

Seeing as it is a Father I would distance myself from him—only talk to him how and when I wanted-if the talking took a negative turn I would hang up.

Kind of a ”controlled”relationship.

You really have to think about it when it is a parent—unless they put you in physical or emotional danger….Forgiving someone doesn’t heal them it heals YOU. Do you want to open that door?

On a nice note—when I became ill at 43 I had to use forearm crutches to walk. I went to the Medical store and the manager told me I wasn’t covered. He then told me to wait and he went in the back room.He came out with a pair of forearm crutches.Adjusted them for me—showed me how to use them.Then he told me—these are the best crutches I have here-He gave them to me FREE-I swear there was a tear in his eye and I knew somewhere in his life someone he loved must have endured sufferring/illness. I of course thanked him profusely and now understood why his smallcompany has stayed open for over 30 years.

When I got to the car I cried my eyes out! Not because I had to use crutches to walk—-but that someone had touched my life with their compassion and kindness—no one had been nice to me for a long time.

Equalizer and Motivator were my results from this tests/

I do not really put any faith in tests like this—especially for us women-we have too many layers to be figured out that quickly.

Plus the test comes from a Man—hello????? I don’t think any of them really understand us—even though some try hard.

Do not let any one put you down. No one has walked in YOUR shoes but YOU..

Sounds like your life has been a mess and it gets to a point where others don’t even believe it anymore when you try to tell them.

Chin up—-get a book on Meditation and Bhuddism so you can learn to start to hel yourself.

A man who is comfortable with himself.

Can hold an intelligent conversation.

cares about the world around him.

I never really knew or cared about much as a young girl,I had a happy home life,I was lucky.

I didn’t notice class differences until High Scholl at age 16—I would hear other girls/guys complaining about how their parents treated them—how they wanted things they couldn’t have—some were even hungry!

I found it all appalling .Never made any difference on who my friends were or how I treated people.

I would tell others where my home was and they would be like”wow you live there? you must be rich"

I never noticed until someone told me….

I am  100% Disabled and have Medicare as my medical.

I pay 20% of all my medical bills-most tests-Md visits.

I go to what ever Md I choose.

I had ByPass Cardiac Surgery and it covered 80% of it -some of the other money was paid by a Hospital fund-the rest I paid off in time.

The problem I do have with medicare is they do not cover teeth or glasses.

I guess it is not important to them that people can see clearly(reduce falls/accidents)

or if we can eat.(dental diseases,choking)

Right now I am sitting here with a mouth full of teeth that are completely rotten-

they are brown=

they stink-

some are broken off

-my gums are red-swollen

and they bleed most of the time.

I am also in tremendous pain.

I contacted medicare they will not cover dental-even when it is caused by a ”disease process”

I watch TV shows with women getting ”white bright” treatments and I cry.

It costs $8,000 for them to pull all my teeth-because I still have so many.

I also need trifocals and have visual problems from a medication they were giving me that caused me to lose peripheral vision in both eyes.

My Mouth and my Eyes are both directly linked to my disease…..

I guess when I get sepsis they will put me in the cardiac unit at the hospital then.

It will cost a lot more and I could lose my life.

Right now I use listerene everyday trying to ward off germs-I cannot brush my teeth they hurt so bad.

I basically eat mush for food!

I use $dollar store glasses to read with.

So I work my whole life from the day I am 16-raise my son alone without childsupport or welfare-put myself through college/nursing school-still working!

I spent my whole life caring for other with my whole heart and soul….and still this is how it all ends up?

I do get a disability check for which I am grateful and I did work for.

Nothing else-except the pharmacy program which I guess is going to stop if Obama has his way …

The Pharmacy Plan sent me a letter today saying if Obamas Plan goes through they are shutting down.

I thought it was bold of them but I guess they are giving us all fair warning from the state run program.

I have almost 900$ in prescription-all generic except one.

I live with my elderly mother now for financial reason etc..

Soon I may be living in a box by the side of the road?

and who will care?

Obama?

I have said this to a black person before—not in the manner you are speaking in which is like ghetto talk.No one knocked me out.

Thankfully they were well educated and we talked seriously about it. I am notfor slavery what normal person would be?

You are trying to put words in my mouth with your own racists anger.

It is 2009 why would any intelligent person say racism is the cause of everthing.

Then how did Obama get in the White House?

Whites voted him in.

Blacks should be grateful that they are in america a country that fought for their rights—-it has been hundreds of years dear.

My ancestors came here and were treated no better-they couldnt get jobs-were spit on and taken atvantage of,

It is a cruel hard world we live in.

Today we are all wise enough to know we are all the same.

I suppose there are fringe fanatics who still think backwards-but they have that right as do you as an American.

You yourself really put down the Black Community with your stereo typical behavior—-

If you don’t get your way or something you want—it is because whites are racists—-then if that doesn’t work you threaten

physical harm ….thats what youjust did to me 2 times in your letters.It is so obvious that you are filed with rage  and anger—

cannot you see it?

You are exactly what you claim me to be.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

I live surrounded by a Black community—I live and worked side by side with many.

My cousin is married to a black man for 35 years now with 2 kids.

I am no racists…..never have been. You—-now thats a different story.

A racists troublemaker.