I really enjoyed the clips.  I was in college when Sesame Street started on TV so I wasn’t really aware of it until one day listening to the radio they played Rubber Ducky and said it was sung by Ernie.  All my friends asked, "Who’s Ernie???"  It took us a while to figure out he was a puppet!  Still makes me laugh to this day.

We had a milk man when I was growing up.  We had the little milk chute in the side of our house next to the door.  A door on the outside for the milk man to put the milk, eggs, bread in and one on the inside for us to take it out.  We had to remember to get the milk before we left for school in the winter, otherwise it would freeze and crack the glass bottles.  The bottles had little cardboard stoppers in them, covered with a pleated paper cap.  If we wanted something different (their absolutely yummy chocolate milk for a rare treat, perhaps) we left a note in the neck of one of the bottles we were returning.

When we were little, if my parents went out and thought they wouldn’t be home before we got home from school, they would lock the doors and leave a key for us kids in the milk chute.  Very safe :)

My dad still lives in the same house and the milk chute is still there.  Of course, the neighbors are all aghast he has not taken out the milk chute because they think it is a security exposure. 

I don’t think we are immune to this, but the average American just does not understand the mentality.  Really, what is the point of blowing yourself up in a marketplace and taking innocent people with you?  Is it just the destabilization of government?  Just to prove you can scare people?  Is life so cheap to these people?  I do refer to them as "these people" because I don’t believe I know anyone who is so fanatical that they think blowing themselves or others up for political purpose is at all helpful.

it’s no one’s business except mine and my husband.  can’t imagine wanting to share with anyone else.

Facinating.  I came of age at the same time period as you two, graduating college in the early 70’s.  Young women today have no idea what it was like then.  No boys allowed in my dorm above the ground floor and even there the rule was four feet on the floor, only hand holding.  Not even kissing!  Women had to wear dresses to dinner in the cafeteria and be in by 11:00.  The males were allowed to dress as they liked in their dorms and had open hours.  No curfew at all.

When I graduated, I went to an employment agency.  They had pink application forms for women and blue for men.  Every woman had to take a typing test (the men didn’t have to).  I told them I wasn’t much of a typist and I was asked what kind of a job did I think I could get without typing skills.  I guess my math and economics degree weren’t really what they were looking for.

 I got a job with a Fortune 100 company.  Women had to wear dresses.  Absolutely no pants.  I had worked there for about four years and was due my first big promotion.  I had exceeded every goal given me, was recognized as a leader, all the men hired when I was had already been promoted.  And then I got pregnant.  I told my husband I was going to hide it until I got my promotion.  I actually waited until I was six months pregnant, got the promotion and then told my boss.  He took back the promotion.  Said I would have to wait until I came back and worked at least another year to "prove" I was serious about staying because women just wanted to make a few extra bucks to support their kids and then quit to stay at home.  And this was very legal at the time.

I shake my head now at young women with their tight skirts, spike heels and spanks (they were called girdles in my day.)  I fought long and hard to be able to come to work without all those confining garments.

We have certainly come a long way.

Joan, It sounds like you have a great marriage.  I feel fortunate that I do, too.  My relationship doesn’t sound at all like Carin’s.  I married fairly young.  We have two children.  I’ve always worked.  From the start, we pooled our money.  There was no mine or yours.  It was all ours.  And we always made decisions together (sometimes maddeningly…since when did you care that much about the color of the bathroom towels?)  But perhaps I was lucky, or perhaps very smart, when I chose my mate.  He does all the grocery shopping and most of the cooking.  We share the fretting over who will pick up the kids, who will stay home when one is sick.  He’s taken them to the doctor when they are sick as often as I have.  He vacuums more often than I do (although I clean the kitchen more often than he does because somehow he just does not see all the crumbs I do.)  I’ve always done the laundry because I have more things that I want hand washed or hung to dry or whatever.  We both love being outside so we very much share the yard duties.  I pay the day-to-day bills but he does most of the banking, making sure I have money in my wallet.  He usually puts gas in the cars; I usually get them washed.

We haven’t done this by counting up who does what.  It just felt right to us and we both always considered each other equals.  We’ve had shared goals and found our path toward them in a way that feels really good to us both.

I agree that, sadly, there is a lot more infidelity going on than anyone might realize.  And women are entering into these relationships just as often and willingly as men.

But I do not agree that all of this consensual sex is so harmless.  Too often I still see young women having affairs with older married colleagues, whether they are in a position of power over them or not, and the young women have this delusional fantasy that the affair has more meaning to the man than it does.  "He says his wife doesn’t understand him."  "As soon as the kids are older he is going to leave her for me."  "He says he has never loved anyone the way he loves me."  Sadly, they do not see that sexual mores may have changed, "hookups" may have become more common.  But the basic reality has not changed.  The man rarely leaves his wife.  If the wife finds out, there is usually a tearful remorse on the part of the wayward husband and the commitment to work harder on their relationship.  When the wayward husband does split, it is rarely to stay with the girlfriend.  Even if he leaves his original wife and marries the girlfriend, how often does that marriage last?  If he cheated on Wife #1, will he also cheat on Wife #2?  If the young woman thinks it was just fine for him to find comfort outside his marriage, will she do the same in her marriage?  The grass always seems greener somewhere else.  We’ve made commitments seem so trivial.  "Starter marriages" are discussed so casually.  The expectation is that everyone cheats.  It’s no big deal to sleep around.  Let’s have 50 or 100 sexual partners (can you even remember any of their names?)

Love and sex don’t seem to have much importance any more in such a throw away society.

So a 13 year old is lured into drugs and sex (from what I have read, she was drugged first, then had "consensual" sex).  And we then should give a pass to the adult who took advantage of her?  I don’t buy it.  As a reasonable and responsible adult, it is on the adult to not do the wrong thing.  There is just no scenario I can conjure up that makes it OK for a middle aged man to be having sex with a 13 year old girl, whether she "Wants" it or not.

Ladywood - four years of misery and listening to nuns tell me how stupid I was.  It took me years to realize just how wrong they were.

I HATED girl scout camp.  But I still know how to start a fire, chop logs, paddle a canoe, blaze a trail when hiking and, of course, make somemores so I guess some good came out of it.

Ah yes, my engagement ring came from Wright Kay Jewelers.  It is still sparkling on my finger.  I remember the day my boyfriend and I went ring shopping.  We walked in and in the first case facing the door this ring was in the middle nestled in black velvet with a light shining on it.  The back of the case was mirrored and that ring was spectacular.  It’s not like the rings now with tons of huge diamonds; just one perfect stone in a simple setting, under a carat, but sparkling like nothing I had ever seen.  It was exactly my size, like it was there just waiting for me.  We bought it on the spot, he put it on my finger and it has never left.

And for your other comments.  I do remember (try to forget) the garter belts.  I remember putting holes in stockings because I would cinch them into the garters too tight.  My stockings were always bagging down around my ankles.  I very much remember the first panty hose, which were a godsend, even though the originals were not great.  They bagged too but we were free from girdles and garters.

I went to a Catholic school with plaid skirts and the clunkiest saddle shoes ever.   Knife pleated plaid skirts with the waistband rolled so the hems were always unbelievably uneven.  White blouses with blue blazers.  The nuns didn’t need to worry about keeping boys away from us…I felt so unattractive.  It took me years to get over!

I still have a beautiful wool coat I bought at Best’s with one of my first paychecks.  I didn’t realize it at the time but it is a very classic wrap shape and I’ve worn it off and on for 40 years and still get compliments.

How about shopping at Best and Company, Peck & Peck, Hughes & Hatcher (a Detroit store with fabulous service in their downtown main store).  Buying Capezio shoes (fabulous image…I always felt like I was a dancer because they also made ballet slippers), Villager a-line skirts and "poor boy" sweaters that came with a little ladybug pin.  Bass Wejun loafers with a real slot for a penny (I kept dimes in mine so I could make a phone call.  A pay phone call cost ten cents back then.)

I am from Detroit.  I remember Hudson’s department store, especially the flagship store downtown with the beautiful brass elevator doors.  (When they closed and basically abandoned the building, vandals were allowed to strip all the beautiful interior furnishings.)  This store was where I learned what a mezzanine was.  Going downtown to see Santa was a production every year.  My mom would buy all of our school clothes there every fall but we walked out so breezily.  Everything was delivered for free.  The next day the big dark green Hudson’s truck would come, the driver would open our screen door, announce "Hudsons" and put the packages in the foyer.  (The gas and water meter readers would also just walk in the back door, head downstairs to read the meter and walk back out.  Those were such safe and idyllic days!)

And Sanders ice cream shops with their fabulous cream puffs and bumpy cake.

 Vernors ginger ale.

The Edsel car and the Ford Rotunda, which had a fabulous Christmas display every year.  It burned down in the 60’s when it caught on fire while they were repairing the roof.

Daly’s drive in where we would get a Daly burger, fries and a milk shake.  All the teens would drive through to see who was there and had been lucky enough to get a spot to be able to order.

It seemed like there were a lot more local brand names rather than the more anonymous national chains and brands we have now.  So it was very special to travel because you would experience very different stores and products in different cities.  Everything is a national brand sold in a national store now. 

LW#2 You say you listen sympathetically and each thinks you are on their side.  Perhaps you need to adjust your listening skills for this situation.  You cannot change others but you can change yourself.  So the next time one of them bends your ear, you might say something like, "How frustrating for you.  What does she say when you try to work it out with her?"  Try to put it back on each of them to work out their issues.  Then move on with a quick, "Well, I know you are smart so you will figure out the right way to deal with this."  And get on with your work.

Drugging and raping a 13 year old and then leaving the country should be excused because he is talented?  So are you OK with some old guy doing this to your 13 year old daughter as long as he makes great movies?  That sure wouldn’t be my attitude if it were my daughter.  He has had the money and international fame to allow him to live in a country that wouldn’t extradite him to the US.  He ought to be in prison.