The problem is that our children don’t know a life pre-technology to compare to.  We, unfortunately are old enough to remember.  My oldest is in university and complains that his laptop won’t get a wireless connection in some of his lecture halls.  I laugh my ass off as we didn’t have computers when I was getting my degree.  I told him that I was lucky as I owned a typewriter and made a comfortable living typing papers for others.  He could not comprehend that students were allowed to hand in hand-written papers as the typewriter lab was always booked.  He was really baffled at the reality that typewriters did not have spell check or grammer check.   

Oh, by far technology wins, as usual. 

Maybe it is his pot smoking that is slowing him down.

I totally agreed and I think that many parents, as well the schools and the modern technology are to blame. My parents were the silent generation born between the two world wars and they had three gen-xer children. They raised us to respect adults, never curse in public, school is a job, if you want something you work for it and if you do something wrong to accept the punishment and learn from your mistake. We always ate dinner together, tv was a treat and you got rewards for hard work but not always. They have a doctor, a former pro baseball player who is now a cop and a writer and we are all successful in our careers of choice. They are proud of us but not to proud. All of us are in relationships that have lasted 20 years or more and I say that only because I am not married to my husband and that is still an issue with my parents. We all have children who are good students and good people. I raise my children the way I was raised and it seems to work. I didn’t let them participate in the kindergarten graduations as I saw no need for it. They never got allowances but were given pocket money for the work they did do and told why they got it or why they didn’t. Every weekend we went out for dinner and when they misbehaved they were taken to the bathroom and given a stern warning and if they continued to misbehave the following weekend they were left home with a sitter (with all three that only happened once to each). When they cursed I made them wash out their own mouths with soap (to this day they do not curse often). When I look over their homework, I give them criticism but not cruelty and if it is done well I tell them, well done and no more. I tell them they can do better when they can. I made my two oldest get jobs to pay for the things they wanted and they were always taught to spend some, give some and save some. They get punished when they do wrong and they accept the punishment, in fact they tell me what they have done before anyone else does, (they don’t do wrong very often). They have always had boundaries in place and always had to abide by those rules and boundaries. But most importantly I love my children and they know that not by what I give them or do for them but by lots of hugs and kisses and affection. When I compare my children to others I see how well rounded they are and how they have self-respect and therefore respect for others and they have great self-esteem because they can be proud of their accomplishments with or without my acknowledgment. They all have a strong sense of self-worth because they don’t expect others to define who they are or who they need to be. My son loves and takes care of his car not because it was given to him but because he worked for it, paid for it and drives it and it boosted his self-esteem. My daughter treasures her wardrobe because she did the same, worked for it, pays for them and she loves how she looks and doesn’t worry if someone at school is or isn’t dressing the same way. They both have pay as you go cell phones that they pay for so they use phones when needed. They do well in school for themselves not for a reward or recognition. They excel in sports because they love the sport not for a reward of playing well and I have not gone to every game or meet because they know that I also have other committments. The boys open doors for ladies and the elderly (my youngest is 7). They correct others who are throwing the f-bomb around like is part the sentence structure. Yet many of their friends, who have had the kindergarten grad, been rewarded for breathing and have had everything given to them are never happy, always so depressed and always wanting more, not to mention rude and lazy. Many of them are the most self absorbed people I have or will ever meet. Many of them have very high expectations for what the world will give them and for others will do for them but little or no expectations for themselves. I fear that these kids are the generation that will be in charge of this country when I am older.

If people go into a marriage with a pre-nup then why marry. I feel that a pre-nup means that you are marrying with the intention of getting a divorce so why bother. Perhaps, if they was money at stake people would take the marriage more seriously and work on the problems rather than use the problems as a reason to dissolve the marriage. Yet, at the same time there are so many gold diggers out there, Heather Mills comes to mind, that men and women do need to protect what they earned prior to the marriage.

I am fortunate to have been born in a bilingual country with two official languages so I speak French and English. German was spoken in my home so I speak that too and I took Mandarin in university and I can understand it but with all of the inflections and dipthongs I don’t speak it very well. All three of my children have been and are in French Immersion so they all speak at least two languages. In addition to that my oldest son speaks Japenese as he has studied it since 8th grade and my daughter is currently also learning Mandarin. My husband speaks English, French and Italian. We are all citizens of the world so I feel it is important to learn to speak more than one language.

No, I don’t. Some of the best world leaders were peasants with little or no education. The lawyers, the poli-sci, the economists, the Harvard grads have done no better than the common person. In fact, I feel that the common person would do a better job as they are in touch with reality. Most politicians today have led very priveledged lives and have never wanted for anything in their lives, hence they cannot relate to living hand to mouth or paying Peter with Paul’s money. Many of today’s politicians feel that the ‘book learned’ education they had been given (not worked for) makes them more qualified then someone who has actually had to budget money to make ends meet, solve a disagreement on a town council, cut a deal with a car dealership, watch a family member die because they couldn’t afford proper treatment, and is over all well educated with life.

Perhaps one of the reasons why she was so messed up for so long was confusion and fear about her true sexuality. I hope she is happy as everyone deserves that.

I don’t feel there is an education or prior work experience that would prepare anyone as leader of any country. Common sense, morality, intuitive skills, organizational skills, ability to work with a team, ability to work well under pressure and excellent communication skills should all be job requirements.

So much of what I would say would depend upon the situation. All three of children were born out of wedlock as my ‘husband’ and I have never legally married, so I don’t have issue with that. It is must easier to raise children with some money in the bank and with some support of a partner but really a child needs love, discipline and more love whether that comes from a single mom with a part-time dad or from a single father with a part-time mom or from extended family and friends. I would however remind her that it takes more than a sperm donation to make a father, and to never use her child as a pawn to get child support or to piss him off.

Depends on the man. If he was 18, probably not, but if he was between 24 and 30, (I’m 42), why not, but again it would depend on the man.

Most definately yes. And so it should. I can remember the anticipatory anxiety I felt the first time with my husband. Actually it went on for months as we got to understand and learn each others sexual needs, desires, likes, dislikes and the little idiosyncrisies that we had. Once we got past the ‘I want to please you’ mentality and started enjoying the intimacy our sex life just took off and hasn’t stopped. After 20 years, wrinkles, body changes, body pains, kids, animals,stress and just life, he can still turn me on with just a simple kiss to the back of my neck and does as least twice a week.

It is not that I find it taboo, rather sex is between the two who participate and is nobody’s business but the two who were there. People shouldn’t kiss and tell, it is bad manners. I don’t even talk about with my best friends.

I have included my father in all aspects of my adult life except sex. Not discussed, mentioned, thought about or joked about. It is just plain weird.

I have a 16 year old daughter who is still a virgin. I know that some day she will have sex and I hope, learn to enjoy it. Since she was 13 I have told her the same thing over and over. Basically that I know she will have a first time and it doesn’t bother me that this is going to happen and I am not really concerned about when it happens either. What I have asked her to do is to make sure that her first time is “special”, that she is not pressured, drunk, high or trying to please or impress anyone and to always remember that sex is a sacred event between two people. It has stuck with her. She has had a few boyfriends over the past two years, but no one that she deems “special” enough. She doesn’t need to pledge to me or to promise all I ask is that for herself she keep it “special”.

Catherine, Yes, only once on this site.