Cheney should have spoken when he was getting paid to speak up for the country.  That’s how it works.  So, I will continue to write when I get paid to write, or be a political analyst, or advertise the Democratic Party, or be a religious watchdog. The internet…time sucker from hell.

That’s all I got to say about that.

Touchdown Arkansas! How can an Idol contestant get 38 million votes from a state of 4 million people?  I’ll let you in on our secret…although Adam’s performance outshined Kris’s that last night in my opinion, dialing Kris’s number was like a reflex action. I hit redial for over an hour and still only managed to record two votes..

When you listen to people on the national scene kick around 4 million of their fellow Americans anytime their comedic creativity is low year after year…suddenly 4 million = 38 million votes.  That’s how we defy the odds.  Simon Cowell’s rudeness has nothing on Jay Leno’s (We still watch Leno, we are not a bunch of whiney babies).  I’m not even going to suggest people stop doing this sort of thing, it works to our advantage in the end.

 Arkansas is it a different sort of America?  I can’t prove that but Bill Clinton survived impeachment and the largest political witch-hunt in history.  Hillary with a little Chicago style, calmly answered the most pointed questions one can face for years, and then when Chelsea faced trashy garbage campaigning for her mother, she simply said, “that’s none of your business”. Her words held finality and authority beyond her years. She must have picked that up in New York, good for her.

When Kris Allen faced the judges in Idol, it was easy fo’ cheesy for him to just say, “Really? Okay, I hear you”  The whole season was good, and Wednesday’s show was a spectacular free party for everyone who watched.  Cyndi Lauper, Fergie, former contestants that were escorted off stage.  Anyway, it’s over.  Now, I’m going to put a bright red pig on my head, declare, "Whoo pig sooie!”, and celebrate the Natural State, glad that Kris Allen won- but still looking forward to great music from Adam, Anoop, and Danny.  We’re out there, we know where we come from: so, next time you bump into someone smarter than the average bear, ask yourself, “Do they have a Hawg Hat in their closet somewhere?”

It touched a nerve with me,  dear. Ok:

Covering the Compassion Christian Conservative Con-game of Baby Photos(Silver Anniversary Edition)

I walked into church that day having just turned thirteen.  The walls below the cathedral ceiling were decorated with the photos of children under age one.  The organ lay silent  and the young Assemblies of God pastor, with a kindly smile, strummed along with the praise team.  Their version of, “How Great Thou Art” sounded more like a Steve Miller Band production so my nervousness dissipated amid the warm atmosphere and shaking hands with the active members who could still recall the day I was born.  Somewhere between the offering plate passing and the “Just as I am” invitational this Pack-a-Pew Sunday, I was introduced to the Right-to-Life movement and its link to the Republican Party.  Little did I know that the induction ceremony was set to take place in the older, smaller, sanctuary after blessing the fried chicken and twenty kinds of the best homemade ice cream on earth.

This ritual took one hour of time, required no recitation of  oath, yet was undeniably a baptism by blood and the hottest new thing on the market called a video cassette recorder.  Feeling open and receptive after such a sparkling display of hospitality, I listened to the vocal fact-giver who had not yet run for president, as image after shocking image hammered the absolutely indisputable truth of his statements home.  The gentle lilting and remorseful tones of the presentations were much like a kindly grandfather who had to show the brutal truth to those who could carry the GOP to victory in 1984…er, the cross of Jesus,  I mean.  This bringer of light to our youth group was someone we know by the name of Pat Robertson.

Now, I did not watch the 700 club for quite some time after that, but those wrenching images went with me.  In one day, the AoG had inextricably fused Christ and the GOP in at least one hundred very young minds of people I knew.  As, I grew up and gave birth to my first child at the age of 18, with no other source of hope for a decent life I turned to a search for god.  I was a mother at an age where most American teens are lost, but in this  “Christian” community to say you are lost is to say, “I’m not god’s child” at which time, someone then says the sinner’s prayer and sticks you on the conveyor belt to glory.   I assimilated into the compassionate conservative culture watching religious programming and PBS and of course, there was Pat and his co-host of many years former beauty queen Terry Meeuwseen.

Reading the bible daily, conflict with post-Reagan Christianity and my interpretation of Christianity’s message would regularly arise.  Following dutifully the precepts of the faith demands order, quietness, and this unspoken rule that “women are equal but if you disagree with anything we say openly, we will be happy to remind you of Paul and tell you the devil knows scripture as well – with a smile on our face”.  I walked the walk, testing the Lord in the tithe as is mandated by scripture, I followed the new testament approach knowing somewhere inside that my creator didn’t want my money.  The new testament requires one not let anyone know about their giving: tithe in cash.  There is no more enlightening lesson than tithe-in-cash one. It took some time for me to able to accept reality about my church, but when it sank in I flew away.  Gone but still a pro-life Republican making under $20,000 a year.

As we approached the new millennium, I recorded my vote in November for a straight Republican ticket and returned that day to my Republican step-father who had been recently diagnosed with cancer.  I missed the controversy surrounding my candidate due to the reality I faced at home. The inauguration wasn’t even watched because funeral preparations had to be made.  I was only awakened to the national scene after dropping my children off and listening to the radio blandly report that a plane had struck the trade center.  Headed to work, my fiancé called my phone to tell me a second plane had struck the trade center, I never made it to work that day.  I just stopped and waited as the pictures rolled and waited some more for leadership to show up.  I watched television reporters show more courage and wisdom than the people I elected to office.  Eventually, my former belief system unraveled like a cheap Chinese sweater. Thank goodness I salvaged the threads.

Now, as I set to task to rework the fabric with which to clothe myself and maybe one day another, I will not include AoG -political -beauty -queen -religious- propaganda- marketing- groups with their striking manipulative image of children.  I will instead start with hope, and work line upon line, precept upon precept, thankful that the Democratic party looked out for my children while I was busy filling the coffers of the ultra-rich and electing them to do things I believe are heinous.

When Compassionate Christian Conervative Con-artists thrust their children into my face to get my attention again, I will say that I don’t like what they are doing because twenty-five years later I recognize it in an instant.  I know they’ve hijacked the Christian faith for their own purpose, I was there when they did it, I know how they did it.  You sign up for Missionettes one day, the next day you are a political warrior with the cross of Jesus going on before.  Get out while you can Bristol, then come back and tell others what it is like to be a single Christian teenage mother. 

editing without a mouse is a trick I haven’t quite mastered yet.  oh, well too bad

Tell me Gov. Palin, what is like to walk in to the Department of Human services take a number and wait 6 hours amid crying babies with your daughter?  What is it like to have the window shut in your face by an overworked government employee with a baby on your hip?  I really want to know because of course, I’ve never been there. 

Oh, the joy of looking up the noses of the joyous welfare worker for years.  The sexy stretchmarks.  The toxemia and casaearans of premature mothers and babies. Paying daycare on McDonald’s wages.  Truth is there is no cap and gown photo with baby, and while a Pell Grant may cover tuition at the if you get a ged community college it doesn’t any other expenses.

Age 4: "Where’s my daddy? Oh, sweetie he was a political liabilty".

I’m an independent and personally find this marketing of ill planned motherhood obscene not because I’ve made the right choices but would never want any mother or children to encounter the truth of what really happens as my family did.  It’s not pleasant.

Ummm…do you mean that if I were to start posting as if my English professor were grading my post something good could happen?  Since I took that English class I might used what I learned about style, coherence, the changing rules of English, thesis statements and comma splices, there could be hope?

Oh, gees! I quit building my facebook and myspace accounts but didn’t insult anyone in the process…hmmm….I set up a blog and never used it and have an invitation from a friend on fb to join likedin…

Does anyone on wow want to hear from Generation X?  That is the question…don’t worry most of the peeps are actually educated professionals.  Go figure.

I wonder if there is a creative writing class this summer at the College (occasionally we get displaced doctorate level professors from New Orleans)

Where are the rules for this stuff?

I’ve never been to Churchhill, my Hometown thrived when gambling wasn’t legal everywhere.  People traveled through from all over the country and things were different.  People dressed up but no outrageous hats. 

The decline of several tracks around the country has been depressing.  We’re still fans though because, when the Racing Festival of the South kicks in every year we get to see a preview of potential triple crown winners.  We get connected to the horses, trainers, jockeys and the sport’s stories. It’s part of who we are.  Always hoping the Arkasas Derby winner will be the one. I went to high school for a year with a very prominent trainer’s daughter (perhaps THE most prominent trainer), but she was a snotty little &*%^, so as far as knowing anyone famous in this set. Sorry, I just feel connected to them because we hear their names and watch them run before they take the national stage in May.

As for Calvin Borel, I’ve bet on him more than once and it is a personal "I told you so," thing with my husband.  I think he’s fun in his interviews and always like to hear a story such as his.

I’m just itching to say that girl’s name but…

Maybe when I was in my late 20s I would have been game for something not now though.

AAAARGGGHHH!  My brain finally exploded and I do not care about Ms. Prejean her boobs or whether she wants to marry a woman.  In the words of a Kid Rock song, "as we sit free and well another soldier has to yell, "tell my wife and children I love them" in his last breath ~ Amen c’mon now Amen.  Shees! if she was playing Monopoly and drew the Second Prize in a Beauty Contest card she’d just collect $10 and go on.  Move on America!  Move on Me.

I think those women in desert camo deserve more press than what’s her face.  Don’t you?