CYNTHIA NEIL

My Comments (138 so far…)

The Love Goddess: In Sickness and in Health ... But Hold the Sickness

I was on both ends of the situation and my experience was the "typical" one. My husband dealt with years of stomach and nerve problems related to his work with conventional, nuclear and biological weapons. When these problems would flare up I would be on the Internet looking for solutions, when the stomach problem demanded a radical diet change I changed everything. Nurture, heal, nurture, heal as he was in and out of the hospital, knowing full well that he would do the same for me. and then I got sick, devastatingly sick with Lyme disease that went misdiagnosed for 18 months because he labeled every symptom as "you’re just getting old" and I let it go at that. When I finally was diagnosed he refused to look at any information about what I would need to do to get better and took jobs as far away from home as he could so he would not have to deal with my recovery. I found out later opart of the reason he ran so far was that in the early stages of my illness he was going on line to dating services, looking for a replacement. I pity him to this day…

The Love Goddess: Are We Too Far Gone for Monogamy?

We should start out with the question of who created the concept of "monogamy". Men did, for the purpose of knowing that they fathered the children they were feeding. They did not wish to feed children of other men.

When a woman is past the stage of child bearing is there a real purpose to monogamous behavior? There is certainly, if that is the type of relationship she wishes to have AND her partner is of a like mind.

For 22 years of marriage I was monogamous for all of the reasons stated in the comments above. i had given my word, I respected myself, and ethical behavior is a central pillar of my character. That is not to say that I was not occasionally tempted, but my word has ALWAYS been my bond. It nearly destroyed me.

My husband, on the other hand, because of his own emotional cowardice and dissatisfaction with our marriage, ended up seeking other women and ultimately (while on a job 2000 miles from our home) moving in with a woman. this after telling me that we had to get married because (I wished to live together) anything else implied a lack of commitment.

I was widowed in 2007 and will never again allow anyone to tell me what I must do and who I must be. I was born to be a free spirit, and that means a freedom to choose who I wish to go to bed with. Monogamy may be for some people and I applaud their choice. It is not for ALL people. And I should not be labeled promiscuous or slutty because my choices differ from yours. For women to be willing to judge each other so harshly based on values created by men is a pity, because I assure you men do not engage in that kind of labeling.

Listen to them talk to each other about sex, men who have multiple sex partners are celebrated or at worst poked fun at, but they are never called something as ugly sounding as the word slut. Why do we do that to each other?

Now that we've lost Pulitzer Prize-winning 'oracle of language' William Safire, to whom should we turn for linguistic wisdom?

As far as enjoying linguistic stylings I think both Peggy Noonan and George Will can be considered as fun to savor. Camille Paglia takes her love of language seriously as well.

Do you think Jackie Kennedy and Bobby Kennedy had an affair?

Probably. I think Bobby was a horn dog and for Jackie it was payback. She had done everything right in their marriage, behaved with class, dressed with taste, and created beauty wherever she went in support Jack’s career not mentioning having two children and the pain of a miscarriage. How did he honor her gifts and sacrifices? By trying to get a piece of anything attractive which came into his relative vicinity. Letting guys like Sinatra pimp for him and then expecting her to entertain him with grace and good manners. I am sorry for the extreme language but he did what he did, the record is there, and so did his brother.

What is your traveling personality?

I am about half and half… do the research but stay loose and be open to the magic. am prepping for Costa Rica at Christmas (to surf) and I am starting to read about Australia as a graduation present for my daughter. But we will map out a general plan and then be prepared to be spontaneous (is that an oxymoron). If trips are too rigid there is no room for any accidents or adventures, and adventures are part of the fun

What is your traveling personality?

The little pensions on the Mosel River, where the owners are also vintners, or butchers or bakers. Give them the littlest bit of German and they will give you all the english they know.

Caption This!

Three Venti Carmel Machiattos and a Sand tart

Is Obama's hope for global denuclearization realistic?

You can’t put the genie back in the bottle even if the greatest thinkers of all time believe it’s a fabulous idea. You have got to accept that even if all the good honest guys give up their nukes the dishonest power brokers will not. they may tell US that they have but when they need’em they’ll find’em in the hole they buried them in. Think Russia. Think Iran. Think anyone who doesn’t find the need to play by international rules to get what they want. It is naive to think that it is possible, reread your Machiavelli.

The wOw Conversation: Why Do People Put Up With Abuse?

Sometimes abuse starts so small or insignificantly that you don’t see it for what it is until you are trapped in the doormat position. That was what happened to me. My parents worked very hard to make sure i had no self esteem and then after fighting them every step of the way to the point that I became a self supporting singer in NYC I "fell in love" with a man who did not look like my father when I met him. but as years passed the he became insecure for reasons I never understood and what had started out as bantering mind tennis became a driving need to convince me and my kids that I was stupid. (I had been invited to join MENSA at 16) and because I loved him over the course of years I began to believe him. The only reason I was freed from this abusive relationship was because he died in Iraq. But I will never trust myself to get near anyone else again. The three people who told me they loved me and I should trust their love tried and succeeded in turning me into a doormat for long periods of time. the lesson for me is I do not have the skills to choose healthy people for relationships. Better to just stay away from the concept all together

Obama’s Czars Play Russian Roulette With Business, by Liz Peek

Liz, I would like to know if you have an opinion about the Economist Peter Schiff. Frankly his ideas sound a lot like your ideas taken to the next level.

I would appreciate your opinion

Who is your favorite newspaper columnist, the one you would follow anywhere?

yup. Last week he did an excellent piece on how torture demeans us all. Hard to disagree with. Nonetheless exquisitely argued. One of my favorite of his quotes…"Civilization is not a destination, it is a precondition."

How do you tell the time?

I have an inner sense of time that drives people crazy. I am within 5 or 10 minutes of the correct time when I guess and I hate watches.

Expense abuses have run amok in British Parliament. Is the corruption of power inevitably a human condition?

It is only by the grace of "the people" that politicians rule. The problem, in both Britain and America, is that we have lost our will to govern. Our government, as with Britain is our responsibility and we have (as a group) abdicated that responsiblity. No one, I don’t care how much you like the job they do, should be in the elected part of our government more tha 10 years. There should be no pension benefits to speak of for legislators and people should be paying attention to the amount of lobbyists money their individual representatives are vacuuming up. but it is up to the people to make those decisions individually and we are not doing it. As Britain is reaping the consequences of their apathy, so will we.