You are funny…now and then maybe we all live in the state of paranoia :-) but my other state is Missouri in that city with a big Arch and the Cardinals.  Wierd spring here with a ton of rain and floods, now HOT and HUMID as hell.  I’m off to stick my head in the fridge again cause I’m too stubborn to turn on the AC.

How is it that a guy like you hangs out at Women on the Web?  Curious… ?

Oops…Sorry James that I have challenges with names.  It is SO SO hot here today that I’m thinking that’s a good way to keep the heat at bay.  Miles of smiles from Carol

Yep.  Agree.

…and pray tell Mike…about your photo:  WHY is your head in the refrigerator?

Annette’s story says it all … and maybe the best lessons DO come from life itself!  While my college wasn’t ‘Ivy League’ I do have a Master’s and am a teacher.  I used to feel attracted only to highly educated folks, married one and … he turned out to be the most awful man who mostly uses his smarts to manipulate people, very selfish and entitled.  Of course his charm act is so good that it masks the real person, for awhile.  Anyway, now that he is gone one of my absolute best friends happens to be very simple guy who barely graduated high school, yet this guy has a genuine heart of gold and such a refreshingly positive attitude.  So on the flip side, I agree that attitude is everything.

Yes we do often construct our own roadblocks and often need to blast through them instead of make excuses.  My marriage was a major roadblock but after 15 years and 2 kids, to anyone who says ‘stop making excuses’ I’d say ‘walk a mile in my shoes’  Sometimes it feels that some of those who write this stuff are on the high road looking down on those with issues they’ve never experienced - and with their own brand of judgement called pretension.  Maybe my road is not a superhighway, still I continue the journey.

Abuse is not just physical.  Some of the deepest scars come from verbal and emotional abuse, financial abuse, and sexual abuse.  Yet mainstream society doesn’t SEE it as abuse unless one ends up in the ER.

The more I think about this question, the more I’m sure that the only answer is to built a bigger mountain!!! Four was maybe enough for men, but Lordy…there’s just too many admirable and awesome women out there to limit to just FOUR. So…here’s some more… Oprah, Whoopie, Madonna, Aretha … (ever notice some of the most awesome ladies out there need only ONE name?) Also…Jackie Onassis Kennedy, Georgia O’Keefe, Rosa Parks … and I know once I log off I will think of a TON more, but you get the idea. p.s….Please, of ALL females who do NOT belong in this group… Brittney Spears??? C’mon now, who said that and WHY? She’s a sick cookie and an insult to all that is female.

Whether the ‘older woman’ is 40, 50, 60 …same goes. Generalizing about men OR women will result in some exceptions, for sure, but in general I’d agree that yes, an awful lot of men and maybe even most do fear her, or at least tend to avoid for many reasons from being shallow to low self-esteem to fear and all the rest. Then there are the exceptions, and THOSE are the real men. Those of you who have one of those are very fortunate, but do keep an open mind for there are gals like me who have yet to met one, but try to keep believing they do exist. Oh I know a few, but either married or gay or relatives, and even still - only a few. This thread seems a very appropriate place to include a quote from the wonderful Mr. Andy Rooney…love it and think you will, too… “As I grow in age, I value women who are over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And it’s usually something more interesting. A woman over 40 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 40 give a damn what you might think about her or what she’s doing. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated. A woman over 40 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women. Women over 40 couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won’t betray her. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. They always know. A woman over 40 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coifed hot woman of 40+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

A vitally important topic … I’ve been a teacher most of my adult life and have seen this first-hand countless times. Over-indulged kids with a me-me-me entitled attitude, selfishness, lack of respect… The word narcissist was not real familiar to me until I endured living with one who is old enough to know better, my ex. Entitled is a key word there, for he feels entitled beyond belief, looks down on everyone around him, and is completely incapable of simple human emotions like compassion or empathy and yes, even love, for he only REALLY loves himself - the fake love he expresses for others is only to build his own ego. But he puts on a very good act and many (most) people buy it, which is maddening! He hides behind this facade of charming Mr. Nice Guy - tells lies upon lies and even appears to believe his own lies - very sick. It took years to ‘see’ this, even in the face of a ton of ugliness - tough to accept the man you married is so evil, years of denial. One of the best books on this subject is ‘Why Does He DO That?” by Lundi Bancroft…also any title by Patricia Evans. Our society tends to ignore such, and yet these beings cause such damage. Dad left me very abruptly - on Mother’s Day - snuck around with girlfriends for years, stole money, depleted retirement funds and even the $$$ we had put away for the boys’ college, and just recently moved in with girlfriend right down the street from me. Glad he’s gone, but I am SO SO concerned that youngest son (age 14) is following in his footsteps. He recently refused to come back to my house and is enjoying Disneyland with dad and girlfriend while his grades and his attitude suck. So after all dad has done, this kid I gave birth to and raised while dad was rarely around now blames mom for all the problems of the world. Hurts beyond belief. Send a prayer. Thanks.

Eleanor Roosevelt, Gloria Steinem, Marilyn Monroe, and Tinkerbell! :-)

Being without the internet might be similar to PMS for me. I spend many of my waking hours in cyberspace on most days, so I’d be crabby and listless and …it has happened before and I remember it well. Had a much cleaner and organized home as a result, though. Attacked dust bunnies like crazy! What’s a kindle?