TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL IN AN INAPPROPRIATE PLACE

   by Jan Marshall“

"Spirituality after Breast Cancer and Life’s Other Gifts”

Cancer or any other major illness is simply the life force gone wrong. No one is to blame. Yes, diet, exercise and a good attitude plus swell friends and family all add to one’s wellbeing. I did and had all that and not one women in my family had breast cancer. I had regular yearly mammograms. Then one day… cancer. Did it arrive to force me to heal the enormous grief that remained in the cells long after I’d thought I had consciously finished with it? I do not know. I do know that all disease comes up to be heard and healed. After the screams and unending tears a new plan was necessary.

 

ACCEPTANCE IS THE SECRET

Saying, “I totally trust where I am” (in pain, sorrow or whatever) one can get through anything. It is the resistance or unacceptability that keeps us from moving forward.

Try a new affirmation. “I totally accept where I am (of course I’d rather be dancing) but I do totally accept where I am” because resistance creates persistence of the issue.  “I accept where I am now and I don’t like it one friggin bit but so what?” For me, affirmations are little pos-tits for the mind; just a reminder to keep us going as long as long as we realize deeper work is needed.

In the past, the cancer caused hairlessness all over, and a body that no longer was familiar. I cried so much that I prayed that tears had calories. Then I’d be a tall, thin blond with legs up to here. No such luck. Chemo at that time, also caused weight gain in women which never fully disappears. Asking the why this happened does not work in most situations. What is is and the rest is the learning and then finding a best possible way to deal with the events.

Here is my new interpretation of it all-meaning life’s journey, not limited to illness.

Never deny any type of emotional pain or it will show up elsewhere on the body or in a car crash or other mishaps like a broken nail before a hot date.

Accepting others where they are or who they are, is not easy, but with practice the rewards are enormous. Weather and humans are alike. Fill in the cliché’.  Pollyanna would say, “If you do fall on your face, don’t despair. At least you are facing forward” but that is crap! This is not the point.

Perhaps this is: The pain is there to learn the lesson of the pain is there to learn the lesson of the pain is there to learn the lesson. They say that pains are gifts in disguise and it is true. I have learned much more from the pain than the good stuff and there has been so much good stuff. But, puleez, enough with the friggin gifts already! Doesn’t FEDEX have anyone else’s address? 

In India it is said Oriental rugs are woven with one small flaw because only God or the Divine is totally without flaws. Human beings are not. Forgive yourself and them. They know who they are!

No matter the angst, always say “I want to see this from a higher place.”  Take a ladder if you must.

During illness though, while  a positive attitude is necessary, it is not a substitute for competent medical care but it truly is a vital partner.  

Prayer and meditation are important in the yearning to reach our soul’s level. Our prayers are the request, the meditation the answer though we rarely receive what we want but as Mick (that role model) Jagger says, we always get what we need. But why am I listening to him when he can’t get no satisfaction and I have multiples.

This leads to the real lessons that change our destiny, attitudes and relationships. Of course if you already practicing the following, please write SAINT before your name. We mortals can only attempt to achieve the list while facing our life’s lessons.

OUR JOB IS TO ENTIRELY GIVE UP                 

 Judgements

Expectations

Comparisons

*Need to understand.

All of the above is self explanatory.

Understanding is the booby prize for me. I have to continually work on that one. “How can the bum do such a thing?” Why did she say that? I do not understand.” Shut up, Jan! What is is.

Frequently, hurt disguised as anger is in the cellular level. The depth of the hurt comes from a deeper place; the place called Fear. Anger is frequently the cover for fear and pain and hurt. Underneath hurt and pain is a fear of not being enough. Say “God, I am afraid of (whatever) and then ask for a healer from a higher place.

Say, “I am a joyful, creative, peaceful, generous being.

When we stop wanting things from other people we find peace.
”I mean really, after all I did for that ….”

Underneath some grieving is the knowing that the giving is not matched or balanced by receiving. They are both sides of the same coin. Our need to give is often mixed in with our need to receive. I’ll say it again: Acceptance and Allowance must happen to change anything. First recognize who you are and where you are in this process. Whatever the issue, Acceptance comes first.

ADDRESSING UNWANTED ISSUES: under the need to control, to lose control, to be strict, to be lax, to be obsessively neat, to clutter, to overeat, to starve oneself, to over drink or drug or fanatically use religion or any other extreme need one must first say. “I accept this about myself. I do not like it. I do not want it. I want to change it yet I am unable at this time. But it is what it is. That is acceptance.

Once we come to this, it gets easier. But let’s face it sister, getting to this is the part that is difficult. How nutty is that you ask? We absolutely do not like a quality about ourselves so why would we accept it? Because in fact, we are seeing this only on the human level; in the spiritual realm, there is no judgment about any of our flaws. Indeed there are no flaws. There is only energy. Gee, I sure hope that is  true. If I could only get that in writing…..!

The job is to get to that in ourselves. All is energy. Transforming the disappointment in ourselves into accepting that we are mortals and being gentle and loving with ourselves starts the transformation. Make a declaration. “This— whatever—-is my issue.  Okay, I do not like it. There is more than this. The soul’s intention cannot interfere with Free Will. Only I am in charge of my freedom. Even the Great will of God can’t take over because of this freedom, though praying can help bring it forth. Practice talking with the soul. “Talk to me, tell me”. The soul is different than the personality. The outside world will never know me or you my sisters. My soul knows. I know. You know.

The second step in ACCEPTANCE allows me to see things from a different prospective. Need is different than desire. Once one gets away from the need for “them” to understand, acknowledge or recognize us or our circumstance one realizes;
”While it is my desire to have their approval,  I do not truly need that from others”.  It is always the “need” that is off. Others may never “get it”. Accepting is part of this. Accepting is acting from a higher place. When an issue comes from NEED, it is the child’s need and hurt in us. Say instead, “I know who I am”.  All the rest of the discomfort is need also known as EGO.  To have others validate us is not pure. In the perfect world, when WE know who we truly are, what others think, feel or say cannot affect us. Good luck. I only practice this half the time! 

But really, if only I could understand how that putz could have done such a thing….OOPS.

Jan Marshall is a motivational humorist and author of another book (this one still waiting to be published) “STRETCH MARKS, THE BOOK: Ageless Wisdom for Sexy Old Broads” which is a playful erotic and spiritual endurance option that incidentally celebrates cellulite and nagging. Read her satire on http//:www.divinecaroline.com

 

Most dogs are wonderful. Still, I do hope the Obama’s pick a shelter dog. Our first pup was the only purebred in the house and believe me, he used to flaunt it. His name was Charles Worthington Farthington the third. He wanted to be called Sir and became moodywhen I referred to him as Chuck.

During mating season (his), he’d sneak out the door as soon as that slut poodle seductively dropped the flea collar off her shoulders. Yes, she had shoulders! Minutes later (just like his master), when he finished he’d crawl back, slurking next to the wall with guilt written all over his snout and then wedge himself under the bed.

They say environment influences canine behaviour. Well, we had always taught him that sex was beautiful; a natural function between two consenting adults. In addition, we had stopped behaving in that manner long before bringing him into our home. I believe it was his uptight heritage that prompted him to be so prudish.

That is why I am in favor of mutts. Really, who else will run to the door whenever you return filled with joy and love and then passionately lick you all over? If you do know someone, please give him my number.

 

 

Joni, take a deep breath and then know we are all out here for you and the group. This is a great weekend for rest and renewal.

I live and work in a senior community and have been nominated (one of 36 woman, 4 men) a senior hottie. It is too funny. One gal is a former Playboy bunny. Coincidentally I used to play with bunnies. Some of the lovlies are in their 80’s. I have never been a fan of these contests. I resisted at first and then a collegue from Pen Women said it might get publicity for my next book which, in this financial environment is difficult to sell. My first book was published on the first try. So I wouldn’t mind support for my newest satirical tome, "Stretch Marks the Book: Ageless Wisdom for Sexy Old Broads". It is a playful /spiritual/erotic endurance manual. Here is the link if someone wants to vote for JAN MARSHALL http://www.ocregister.com/articles/age-career-hobby-2347944-laguna-woods  You vote: Sizzling, sensational, sultry O.C. seniors  “BACHLORETTES” in LW. CALIFORNIA 
Please consider voting for Jan Marshall                                     OR  Click here: You vote: Sizzling, sensational, sultry O.C. seniors | age, career, hobby, laguna, woods - News - OCRegister.com Or type the above link. It is on the LEFT SIDE OF PAGE; SCROLL DOWN TO WOMEN. HALF WAY DOWN PLACE CHECK MARK. JAN MARSHALL.

Career: Former newspaper humor columnist. Author ”Still Hanging in There”, Speaker: Motivational Humorist. Author "Stretch Marks the Book: Ageless Wisdom for Sexy Old Broads".

Being supportive, affectionate and letting my friends just be is my dating and living philosophy. I live by the credo that after we deal and heal the losses, disappointments and lots of bad fish, in fact not a shred evidence exists that life is serious.

I would love to be an senior intern and learn how to link my wowOwow bio and articles to this one.

Yes I have gained weight along with knowledge and cash at the same time. When I started to jog I thought I heard applause but then realized it was my thighs hitting together. The awful plopping sound forced the neighbors to pay me to leave the neighborhood thus I turned flab into dollars. As a child I was a skinny malink whatever that meant. In Brooklyn it was a term used to describe anyone who looked average. Being plump meant your family had money or your mom was a good mom because she fed you well. I was a malink. (anyone know the origin of that word?) So was my brother as were my parents. Lucky me, once I went through chemotherapy 19 years ago and I never had to be maligned as skinny again. In spite of rumors to the contrary, most woman gain weight after that poison is pumped into our body. Hormones stop working; thyroid seriously sleeps and is on the missing link list. (Oprah, be kind to your self; low thyroid truly does slow down weight loss). Like Oprah I find it a struggle to regain-oops wrong word to use- to go back to the great body I once had. The Good News; it keeps Sean Connery and Michael Caine from stalking me. I love food, carbohardrates especially. I have recurring dreams of diving into a pool filled with pasta and eating my way to the top. Pasta is a lot like sex. Even mediocre Rigatoni is damn good to me. I do circuit and cardio training three days a week; dance as often as possible and have orgasms (100 calories each) often, sometimes with a partner. Still the pounds remain. Then again, I am a woman of a certain age and every gal I know in this vintage bracket is a bit hefty. So what must we make of this? In the Artist Rueben’s time both Oprah and I would be considered malnourished, too thin to be considered models for a portrait. Why do we not mentally go back to that time and love our lumps? This thinness theory has no (weight) or merit except the power we give it. In fact, my own scientific research proves that having cellulite indicates great sensuality. Oh, that poor Catherine Zeta Jones. And excess fat shows enormous intelligence. Lets not flaunt our flab to those less fortunate sisters considered knockouts by the naïve world. It is time for change in this country, alright. It is time for acceptance. As long as we keep healthy, what are a few more pounds in the scheme of life? My goodness, Oprah has done more for this world than most people. She is lovely inside and out. Who cares about pounds? We simply admire her essence. We must start the rumor that; “Being fat is where it’s at” and then tell a friend and pass it on. Write to your congressperson and suggest .our national anthem be changed to Louis Prima’s, “The Bigger the Figure, the More There is To Love”. Now, whatever are we going to do with all that extra time we will have not obsessing about our weight?

Molly you incredible, lovely Geek, you. I so appreciate your brilliance. Can you do a comparison with the iPhone, Storm, Dare or any other similar smart phone with a Querty separate keyboard and easy touch face (voice dialing would be a plus) with the iG Google (The Google site online is the love of my life I would prefer to be able to link to all it’services with my smart phone). I figure the next generation of the iG will be improved, if that is necessary. When would that be released? Have a fun filled day. Jan Marshall