when i gravitated toward nyc in my 18-early 20’s(having grown up in ct, & one of my best friends from childhood went to FIT while i went to college in western ma), i always loved the wildly incidental moments. for example: someone asked me in a bar where i went, and when i answered with my tiny college’s name, another person behind me, and independent of the conversation, spun me around and asked if i knew HH, and i said of course, he’s my poetry professor! then they relayed a story about how they met in a hostel somewhere in europe..and we had one of the most interesting conversations of my life. that kind of thing always happens to me in the city. i continue to stop in for some fun when i’m in the area, and i still meet the most interesting people in the funniest ways. i live too far away to do so very often. but the best part of the visits now is watching how much my kids enjoy simple pleasures like grabbing a slice in grand central before we head out on our adventures, whether it’s the museum of natural history or the top of the empire state building. however, i do still run into people i’ve known in other parts of the world, familiar faces in an unlikely atmosphere whenever i’m there.

for all the red heads out there who dislike it: I have always looooooved red hair! every young boy and girl i see with it, i always say to them and their parents, “i bet EVERYone says something about your gorgeous hair!” or “I know a lot of women who pay a lot of money to get the color of your hair” the mothers always wink or nod, the boys turn away, fed up cause they’ve heard it a thousand times, and the girls always seem to be reluctant to hear it, but i catch a glimmer of a smile. i hope this is a sign that the prevailing attitudes toward redheads has evolved from when you grew up hating your carrot top. again, i would loooove to have redhair, but even when i i dyed it red once, it didn’t do a thing for me with my skin tone.

hey, jane, i have a scar next to my eye, too! i wear it as a badge of honor. i was bit by a dog when i was 9, just before halloween. that year, i took off the bandaid and went as a pirate with my stitches exposed. avast, ye maties! and that scar is right next to what my mother always referred to as my beauty mark, so i feel it gives a nice balance. i always had a tad of the tomboy boy in me and loved adding and counting the scars as they were incurred from bike accidents, falls from trees and boulders…. both the scar and the beauty mark have faded a bit over time and are barely noticeable until, like you, it wrinkles up when i smile. my husband has a big one on his chin that he used to cover with a goatee. now that i request he keeps clean-shaven more often than not, we’re both a couple of pretty cute scarfaces. so, embrace it! it’s part of what makes you you, and is evidence of a life that has been lived.

i think with these choices you’re telling us a little about your hedonistic abandon, jane? can i join the party, but not too much? amy w is having such a tough time….and that whole thing about keih r smoking his father’s ashes…ew.

whew, ladies, do we need to get huffy? while we’re talking about recently passed celebs, how about cyd cherise and dody goodman? now those were a couple of classy dames i’m sorry to see go…. i wonder if george, in the end did “…expire - like a magazine subscription.” he sure was funny about language and meaning.

pay yourself first, unless you have employees, then pay them first. (dad) all of this is temporal, anyway. what goes around, comes around. (a variety of sources) there have been times in my life when the last 2 dollars in my pocket were my last 2 dollars, period. i bought a beautiful flower that smelled great: a gardenia, a peony. a dear friend looked at me like i was nuts, but that flower did more for me than taking the subway with the same money. that friend has since learned to find something beautiful even in the worst situation. and the walk was good for me, too.

oops, not quite sure how i doubled those last couple of lines. anyway, you get the idea.

disfigurement or an out of proportion issue that really hinders you. i had a dear friend in college who was really cute (fun, sweet, too) - until you caught the slightlest angle away from straight on. poor girl’s nose stopped conversations. i’m not kidding. a seriously cyrano situation. well, after college, she had it “done”, nothing drastic. and wouldn’t you know, shortly after her surgery, she opened a nonprofit business as a consultant who hooked up cosmetic surgeons with battered wives, etc who would benefit from a charitable fix to their disfigurements. otherwise, i’m all for aging gracefully with what you’re given. no need to go into surgery addictive state over perceived imperfections. otherwise, i’m all for aging gracefully with what you’re given. no need to go into surgery addictive state over perceived imperfections.

yep, and i’m better than my parents were, and even if we’re loud from time to time now, we’re not mean. and underneath we always know we love each other, and make sure the kids know, too. my second son wants to unlearn to tie his shoes. it’s too much trouble. he’d rather wear slip-ons. i think he has a good point.

Dear Edith Ann, My oldest son was very young when he got on a chair in between his father and i, and yelled, “how can the two of you yell at each other like that in front of a child?! You should probably get a divorce!” And he didn’t know we were already working on that, so we finished it. Later we both got married to other people, and had another kid with them, but we always showed him and his whole brother (as opposed to his 2 half sisters, which he jokes he will splice together into a whole sister) that we love them. Lots of other things changed since then, too. sometimes, we - now stepdad and me - still get loud, but we always talk about it afterward to make sure everyone is ok. it’s hard to unlearn what you grew up with, too, but we’re doing the best we can.

b/c like my ex, he has apparently done nothing to really support your kids, but still remains their “buddy parent” while you do everything to make sure they are cared for to your sacrifice. i know it well. mine went on disability 2 years after he quit paying support, and has since gone on to have another child, still not employed but, if you ask me, he sure was able to work when we were married.

hmmmm…i’m such an avid reader and rereader, i’d read anything. if i’m by myself, hallelujah! i’d finally be able to finish any of my current writing projects with a pen and tree bark. now, for a bottle to stuff it in to float it to an editor….. that regular lift off taxi sounds too easy and busy to get any reading done. B)

hey, as long as they are of the age of consent, who cares? currently betrothed to 11 mos younger, have been involved with much older and much younger. much younger was a fun reprieve after my first marriage, but i had to admit, he had some growing up to do before i could take him seriously. not that they all need to, but he certainly did. come to think of it, so did my exhusband, though he was 5 yrs older than i! badumbum-ching!

maybe i’ll get a dressmaker dummy someday and stand it in a not so tucked away corner

i took me years to get rid of my patchworked and embroidered jeans, and even longer to let go of the jean jacket i personalized. i still have a dress i batiked myself that looks like seaweed underwater. i keep saying i’ll frame it one day and hang it on a wall, but then you woundn’t see the other side, or the great swirl effect of the dye lines over hips, around curves that it was meant to worn around, eventhough at the time i made it i was quite skinny and not nearly as curvy as i am after 3 children. but i bet, if i dug it out of the back of my dresser(jersey cotton), i could still wear it!