It is time that women realized they have to be their own health care advocates. Fight for the care you need and find a doctor that will listen to you. More important is learning to tune in to your body so you can tell when something is off kilter. Doctors have the ability to tell the insurance companies that tests are necessary to get them covered under the insurance plans. We have to insist that they be done at times.

More women are diagnosed with Myasthenia than men. I meet a lot of the spouses at support group meetings and find they are very supportive of their wives. Again it means sitting down at the onset and discussing what could occur. It also means making the person diagnosed do as much for themselves as possible. The real resentment sets in when one person is expected to "do it all." Keeping a sense of humor helps too.

Pre-internet shopping meant knowing the merchants and the local stores. It was being greeted by name instead of being a face in the crowd. I still seek out locally own and operated shops for specialty purchases. If I can buy local at a fair price I do.

I have a husband who was diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis over twenty years ago. At the first support group meeting I was told that the divorce rate for couples facing long term illness was higher than average. After years of care giving in which my husband has developed numerous other heath challenges (diabetes, osterporosis, osteroarthritis and kidney issues) I think it is less the illness than the way couples interact.

At the onset I made my husband responsible for his own medication so that forgetting it wasn’t my fault. We made a joint decision that we would live as normal as possible for as long as possible. I stayed active at work and in my hobby. I made it plain that I wasn’t catering to the illness to the point that I was burned out long before my husband needed constant care.

There are many times that I put his needs ahead of mine because his muscles are physically weak. When he is having a good day or can do for himself he does. Many people who burn out use no common sense they try to be everything for the person diagnosed with illness. Instead of being grateful the patients learn to complain about what isn’t right rather than see what is being done for them. The caregiver becomes resentful and sometimes angry. They are doing all the giving and shouldering all the responsibilities while their partner coasts.

Being a caregiver means keeping a balance in your life with work, friends, hobbies and exercise while you can. There are times it all comes to a screeching halt. It did for me when my father-in-law came to live with us because he couldn’t function on his own with advancing dementia. The only time I had to myself for several years was when the home health care came in for two hours a day three times a week. I was so exhausted that we put him in respite care three times a year so I could have a break. He is in a nursing home now because he needed 24/7 care that we could no longer physically provide. 

Illness does not have to be a breaking point for a marriage if couples sit down at the onset and discuss options openly. There will be changes, some not positive but manageable. Both partners need to realize that it affects the entire family not just the person with the issue. We plan ahead and set goals to do what we can while my husband is still able to participate.

On letter #2 it is time for the sister-in-law to get over herself. She was not paying for the wedding the bride and her family had that responsibility. It amazes me to see people who think they can call the shots in planned events simply because they are related or soon will be. My family members have been invited to many things I was not a part of. That is just the way life happens because no bride or host can ever meet the expectations of every guest. Part of growing up is realizing that the universe is not centered on our whims or us.

I agree. People have forgotten that President Obama inherited most of the problems facing his administration. It wouldn’t matter who was elected because they would have faced the same issues. If we had responsible leadership in past years we might not be faced with our current recession/depression or the money scandals. Where were the regulators when Bernie Madoff was playing his ponzi scheme or banks were handing out questionable loans? Flipping real estate was a game for many years rather than a means for some working couples to afford a home of their own. These issues developed over time because those in charge were not tending the store so to speak.

The Kindle is great for travel because books take up a lot of space and weight. At home I prefer a book that I can prop on my lap and relax with. I like the technology that allows me to download and read a book that I might not consider a keeper.

Women have always been a force in history but they have been subjugated to a lesser role because of child bearing. Men will point out that someone has to keep the family intact, the home fires burning and the household running. Managing a home and family successfully is a learned skill incorporating organization, financial management and social dexterity. These are the same skills that build the society around us.

Our nurturing energy is what shapes our children into the adults they become no matter what religious path we choose. We have to remember that not every woman is or wants to be enlightened. Some people are so fearful of change that they sabotage themselves. It is important for active women to be community role models for positive change. 

My first adult purchase was a car. My father was overseas in Viet Nam and my mother hadn’t learned to drive at the time. It wasn’t an exciting vehicle just a small sedan that was practical. It woke me up to the responsibilities of adulthood with the cost of insurance and vehicle taxes.

I know that plenty of alcoholic drivers are on the road along with those on legal prescriptions that say "do not drive when you take this medicine." That is no excuse to add another layer of risky drivers to our highways.

It is true that anyone we deeply loved may live in our hearts forever. Once they are gone there is a void where these people have been in our lives. Moving on is a natural thing to do. It shows a more mature love to be able to reach out and rebuild our futures. For some it may mean marriage or another child or it could mean cultivating new friends and new interests.

Pot does impair people however: those under the influence do not recognize it. The rules for alcohol are not enforced in some areas. A drunk driver killed the child of one of my good friends. He walked away with a slap on the wrist with just a traffic citation. The child was not on the street he was in his own driveway. Industrial workers handle dangerous gases and substances daily. Many are fired or sent home for alcohol abuse but sometimes they make the headlines with their mistakes instead. I stand by my statement that if people policed themselves this would be a non-issue.

I haven’t heard any talk about how legalizing cannabis might affect our daily lives. Do you really want your child driven to school by an impaired bus driver or carpooling mom? How about taking a plane or public transit where the driver wasn’t all there? Let’s not forget the industrial workers who need their wits about them at all times for their safety and that of others. 

There is no way of stopping one sector of the public from being able to partake while barring others. I am not against legalizing for medical purposes under controlled conditions. I am not in favor of adding another layer of impairment on the highways or in situations where our children or the public could be at risk. I might feel different about this if I knew that people would take responsibility for their own actions. I don’t see that happening.

I don’t think we are immune at all. Some of these bombings do affect us even from afar. The soldiers that serve in that section of the world come home to us as a reminder. Our military and VA hospitals are scrambling to cope with the injuries from the suicide (let’s not forget the roadside) bombs.

The issues that prompt people into becoming human sacrifices range from religious ideology to fear that if they don’t cooperate their families may be executed. It may be easy for some of those bombers to make that choice because in some cases they have no hope for a better life with the present regimes in place. The only way to change that culture is through education and economic change. 

Jeannot it is wonderful to see you posting again.