catherine, i must say you are spot on with your idea’s for LW#2. mom maybe homesick for her little girl. did mama’s girl move far away and never returned? i think mama is suffering from empty nest syndrome. my two adult kids and i live together by mutual consent. i know if they moved out they would be just as lonely as me and be back in for dinners and watching certain shows together, going out to dinner and such. but ours is a different situation than most. we stay together because we enjoy it, rents being to high to live alone and because all of us have a physical or mental problem and take care of each other.

it sounds like she feels her daughter has abandoned her for her own life. she spent all those years raising her maybe she just wants some recognition and some thanks. the way the daughter could show it is by as you said, taking her out to dinner on occasion, staying home and watching tv with her, going to a movie, picnic, shopping, etc. when you have done everything for someone for so long it becomes a shock to suddenly be wandering around without that person. it could be likened to a death to her. she is probably in mourning and this is how it comes out.

as for LW#1 i really hadn’t thought that. but it certainly could be a valid reason. right on with your ideas!!!

i have always been overly critical of my pics. especially anything where i’m not dressed fully. the last pic somebody took of me from the back in a bathing suit (back in 2001) had me looking like a fullback football player. i made sure i was in possesion of the negative and told my daughter i never want to see it again (needless to say, i stay out of bathing suits if i can help it). even thin i looked like a cow, big knobby knees and boney joints. now i’m just a fat cow. lol!

in the 80’s i did look pretty good and had a lot of fun dressing up to go out and dance all the time. cyndi lauper and madonna had nothng on me. but i still never felt sexy unclothed. sexy clothes always made me feel better in the past. now i just wear what fits me. lol! 

we are our own worst critic’s!!! (believe me, i look horrible in pics to, no matter what other ppl say!)

oh donna thanx for giving me something to chuckle about. i always take horrible pics at the DMV because for some reason i get pissed off just before or during the picture. so when it came time for me to take my last pic at DMV i put on some makeup, did my hair and got dressed up. the pic on here is from my last DMV pic and of course i can find fault with it (mostly because it looks like me, lol) but my daughter was very happy with it!

i love michelle’s (and barack’s) love of children. they want them to have good educations, parents that take part in their children’s lives and literacy for our children and i can DEFINITELY get behind that. i like that she wants children welcome at museums. i totally agree with this. some museums can be very stuffy. i think there should be more of them that are more hands on for children. their little minds are like sponges and there is so much for them to learn. one of the best ways for their little minds to soak up things is by touch. just looking at something doesn’t make it real to them. but touching really puts it into their minds.

i also like her because she is a very intelligent woman. somebody you could talk to. i loved hillary and would have voted for her had she made it. but she didn’t and barack did. she is secretary of state and i think she is good at it. she also was a really neat first lady. otherwise, i’m not much fond of any of the other first ladies except rosalyn carter and definitely eleanor roosevelt. nancy reagan, barbara bush and laura bush made no impact on me, except as women that didn’t understand the voter or their families. the only impression they made on me was as pretty bad looking window decoration (okay, laura wasn’t that bad to look at) they were yes women to the husbands in all things and they really were not there for the woman voter or how she lived her daily life. they were too far up the wealth chain to understand us below the poverty line. 

with michelle and barack, i feel so much different. they are both down to earth but still highly intelligent ppl, that have taken the time to understand those of us at the bottom who need them so much. caring about people and especially children is very important in my book. i’m just so glad to be alive in this very historical time!!!

LW#1: the old goat (hehe, margo, i love it) needs to get himself a life and get with the program. if you have to tell him no more than twice, then it sounds like his respect for you has gone out the window. it’s time to talk to his dr and find out what is wrong with him. if you cannot get help that way, then i suggest it’s time to move out or have him move out. nobody should have to do something they do not want to do and nobody should be badgered about it all the time.

i like what somebody said about him not being with another man just because it turns you on. lol, you might even try telling him, sure hon, but you have sleep with your old buddy george because it turns me on and then i will do edie. i bet you, he never bothers you about it again. 

LW#2: it’s against the law to have a person in your car who doesn’t wear a seat belt. if she refuses or it doesn’t fit then she has no right to impose on you. she has a car, tell her to go drive it. my son is mentally disabled and his other mentally disabled friend, who is very obese, wanted a ride. i have an older plymough voyager mini-van. he got in the front seat and said, "i can’t fit in a seat belt, so i don’t have to wear it!" i said, "i guarantee you will fit or you will take the bus!" i made him give me the belt and i pulled it to it’s furthest point. it fit just fine. now ANYTIME he gets in my van, he automatically puts on his belt, because he knows it’s either my way or the highway.

even before seat belt laws were in effect, i expected my kids and any passengers to buckle up or walk. get a backbone. it’s your car and your rules. i’m polite about it at first. but i still do not budge. she sees you guys as an easy mark. i don’t know why she would want to ride in a car she has to stuff herself in. i do have an idea as to why she might want to. she doesn’t want to ride alone. maybe all of you get into one car and she is left riding by herself. why not offer for one or two of you to ride with her in her car? i think that would be nice. she probably feels left out and just wants to be part of the talk on the way to the restaurant. it won’t kill you guys to take turns riding with her. i bet that cures it too.  

"I try not to take too much on since stress is not good for me!"

to much stress is bad for anybody. have you gone to DBT classes for your bi-polar? it might help you learn to cope with your mother. my daughter, who was also diagnosed bi-polar, went to Dialectic Behavioral Therapy and learned how to deal with ppl that upset her. mostly because you cannot live your life in a shell. if you haven’t already tried that check it out with your dr. my daughter is going again because she has had to face a few triggers with my grandson’s daddy. since she cannot get him to disapear (no matter how much we wish) she has to learn to deal with him and all the crap he throws at her to make sure her son doesn’t turn out to have the same problems she does (he is 3yrs old and spends half weeks with us and half weeks with daddy and the other grandparents). she cannot run and hide from all the things he will say and do. that’s life. the DBT might help you get along with your mother better. i trigger my daughter also. not on purpose, but it happens. if you stop dealing with everybody with a trigger finger you will end up aghoraphobic. you are right you cannot change her, but maybe you can understand her better. also explaining what she does that triggers you can help. my daughter told me and i backed off. there is never a reason to put all the blame on her. maybe if she realizes what she is doing that is poking the bear, she might back off a little too. some of us (me definitely) have very dominate personalities and sometimes we need to be shown what we are doing wrong and how to make it better. good luck!!!

i just turned 50 last july. it was a turning point for me too. but some wouldn’t consider it a good one. with all that have been going thru retiring for medical reasons is not what i was looking for, especially without a pension (i’m jealous of my grandson’s other grandmother who is retiring after 32yrs and has a damn fine pension and a husband working in trucking to fall back on). but i will keep on striving to get better so that maybe after i got some social security disability i can go back to work part time, but still have medicaid.

we are all different breeds. they say that men married for many decades who lose their wives to death or divorce, often remarry within the first year or they die. but most women that lose a husband those ways usually live a much longer life single. so jerry hall might be talking about that when she says she doesn’t care at 50. because frankly i do not care about getting tangled up with some man again. dating just makes me sick. they will date their own age, but really want your grown daughter. it’s too much. she still looks good and probably can get any man she wants, just as you do belinda. but sometimes we just don’t want them even if we could get them. as bad as i look i still get guys flirting with me and looking at me. but i never tempt them anymore because i’m just too tired. so hopefully that is all she meant by not caring.

i think the hair looks nice. sometimes as one gets older one gets tired of the same old thing. if she likes it, i love it. it does look nice and really looks good on her. so let’s enjoy the change and quit telling her to go back to that old boring style. damn, i’m 50 now and don’t look have as good as she does. go debbie harry, go gf!

well, at least this time the winners made sense. a few of them i didn’t get. i still don’t know what they win. anyway, these are funny!

my first husband is one of 6 children. all of them blonde hair, hazel eyes, stocky bodies, except the youngest boy. he has brown hair, brown eyes and an atheletic build. he also is the ONLY one that looks like his father. the other boys obviously take after their mother. the youngest always called himself a throwback. all the older boys have high BP problems and 2 suffered massive strokes and one died of it. none of the older smoke or drink. the youngest smokes and drinks and is healthy as a horse. go fig!

i guess you could say i’m one of those christian children that broke away from the mold (step mother was a fanatical/zealot jehovahs witness) and became a buddhist witch. yeah, i always had to be different. i was never allowed to have christmas, thanksgiving, hallowe’en, easter, 4th of july, etc. but i always wanted to celebrate them for the fun of it all. so after i got married to another JW at 17, little by little i moved away from the church. when my mother died i pretty much left for a while. but after my son was born i went back for a little while because i didn’t know anybody. my husband was very abusive and i had nobody but the church to really talk to. after my daughter was born we moved into the projects of san francisco and there i met a neighbor who took me under her wing and taught me about life. about the same time i totally stopped going to church and started celebrating the things i wanted to celebrate. i now ONLY celebrate the holidays as santa day, bunny day, scary day (even tho i have wiccan roots) and such. so you are right about that at least. but the only reason i ONLY celebrate them as something they are supposedly not is because i know the true origin of the holiday and christians have totally changed the date of when jesus was born, died and lived to suit pagan holidays they couldn’t abolish. if they were on the tradional days, then i might raise my glass in a toast. but they aren’t, so they are invalid to me. but i do respect others rights to celebrate them as they please and as the real thing. it’s their perogative, just as it’s mine to enjoy them my way.

lol deanna, that would have been excellent! sometimes you just have to have a sense of humor about stuff like that. usually i come off with a sarcastic remark meant to puzzle them or just outright knock them off their feet. usually these kinds of ppl just don’t realize they are being asses. sometimes it will seem horrible at the time and hilarious later. being a free spirit myself and being eccentric on top of it, has taught me to take it all with a grain of salt and a big sense of humor.

so you think that all ppl in new york are rude? or only new york? well, i have dealt with my share of rude ppl in california and nevada. my daughter and i don’t have dental insurance and she has had several ppl when working the register at retail stores ask her when she was going to get her teeth fixed and right in front of a whole line of other customers. kids have asked her and their parents don’t say sh*t about it. she finally got false teeth when she came here to nevada. she was only 26 when they took them all out. then when she got pregnant here in reno, ppl she didn’t know felt compelled to come over and touch her tummy and ask if they could feel the baby move or just for luck. no, asking just a hand shooting out. she said, excuse me, but NO! they usually went away offended. it wasn’t so much that they touched her (altho it was a big part), as much as they asked after they took their liberties. i still have no dental and my teeth are literally falling out of my mouth. they have a permanent yellow tint from my sinus draining and me being a mouth breather (never smoked, but do have COPD) and children always ask me why my teeth are yellow. i have had adults even ask. my grandson is 3yrs old and we brought him into our local bank. the teller, who feels she knows us so well, asked my daughter when she was going to have a little brother or sister for my grandson. my daughter said, "he is probably going to be an only child, as he would be much to jealous of any other baby i would ever have!" the girl looked stunned. i just looked pissed. ppl will say just about anything they darn well please and not care about the consequences ANYWHERE. so new york, doesn’t have anything on california or nevada. ppl are asswipes ALL OVER!!!

i know about that mentally stuck on the ex/soulmate/love of your life. i had an affair with my husbands brother (i was so naive i was taken by storm and of course he got me drunk, no excuse i know) and fell madly in love with him. i couldn’t have him so i went on with my life and oh what a life i had all those years. but he was the person everybody had to live up to. i would tell the person i was with that i’m sorry but he is the only person that i could ever love. but i could sure try to have a relationship and i actually had a few. one lasted 5yrs. we finally got back together 19yrs later and i was still just as in love with him as when i was 22. but i will tell you, that marriage to him killed it just fine. lol! alcohol, gambling and an ego as big as texas did it for me! but i know what that person went thru. i could still have relationships, but they were kind of disconnected on my end. but i did put everything i had into them anyway, b/c i felt it wasn’t fair to them.